At a crossroad!

Hi! Hope all you lovely people are doing fine! I have not been on here for a while, needed to clear my head. My last transfer was in Nov, 2016, which failed. I felt that i did not wanted to go through this ivf roller coaster anymore however after 6 months of trying clomid, with no hope i am at a crossroad. Am scared it might just be another long heart breaking journey but i scared to give up. I know being 38 years old puts me at an disadvantage, but am now feeling like though i want to try ivf again. But not sure because i already had three failed transfer in addition to my age and my doctor can't figure out where the problem is. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks!

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  • I am sorry you've been through so much already, it really is a roller coaster. I think it's great you're feeling ready to try again, there is a risk of heart break but if your head and your heart are saying try again I think you should go for it, as you might think 'what if?' in years to come. Plus you will have us here to support you through it x

  • Thanks Daisy32, I guess you are right, just wants to make sure that i want to go through this again before i go to my partner.

  • Is there anyone you can talk through it with? A counsellor (or a fertility one if one is available)?

  • Yeah! I made an appointment to see the counselor at my clinic next week Friday. Maybe she might be able to help me indirectly. It been such a difficult journey, and i can't seem to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks so much for your support.

  • Just talking it through with someone helps I think, the final decision is yours but talking to someone in a safe and supportive environment helps. As much as friends and family want to support you, like you say it isn't easy talking to them (I have this difficulty as well.) Best of luck whatever you decide x

  • Thank you Daisy32!

  • No one can tell you if you are ready but I definitely understand your reluctance to put yourself through the process again. I guess part of the decision may come from if you can try a different approach this time. Possibly at a different clinic with a fresh set of eyes?!

    I dread the thought of doing IVF again but I also dread the thought of regretting not trying everything I can before I say enough is enough.

    Good luck in whatever you decide.

  • You are so right, definitely the last say would be mines. I probably would change my clinic. But sometimes when we get so beaten up, we just need a little support saying it going to be okay, even though deep down we know it might be alright we need to hear it. I think i'm in that place at the moment. The people around me all has kids, even though they are their for me it not easy talking to them because they have no clue what pain infertility brings. Thank you, for your support.Imd123.

  • Hi hop36 yes IVF Is a roller coaster πŸ˜”πŸ˜” IM not a expert here but what is your fertility issue Hun ? U wrote that u had 3 failed transfers and IVF and 6 months on clomid and now u want to try IVF again? X

  • Hi! I had 1 cycle, which gave me 3 transfer. I had 17 eggs which 5 survive till blastocyst stage, 5days. However 3 survive the thawing process. They were grade A blastocysts. My doctor had all hope but all three blastocyst did not implanted. After that i needed a break from the stress it was causing so she put me on clomid for six month to see if that may work since i was diagnose with PCOS in the pass. I have been checking to see if i have been ovulating and it have been all fine. My doctor don't seem to know what causing the problem, especially since i have done so many test which all came back fine. Forgot to mention i only have my left tube, the right was removed due to blockage. Thank you for your support, Olivia1980

  • Hi Hun wow grade A blastocyst and 17 eggs collected that really good ...maybe u should ask your doctor for NK cells test before u go through another IVF ... I don't believe when doctors saying "we don't know"...there is always explanation for everything Hun. I don't know what tests so far they done to u ...but I believe NK cells gonna clear "your unexplained implantation problem".. I got only one tube too and is left one too ☺️ But I didn't and I don't have PCOS Hun ... I ovulate every month I got the 28 days regular period every month over year now since my IVF failed which on 150 dose they collect 11 eggs 5 fertiliser and put 5day one grade B (I think) blastocyst and morula. Well I didn't have anything to freeze πŸ˜” But didn't work πŸ˜”πŸ˜” Now soon we gonna start second IVF cycle on the same dose 150 but they want to use Goal F and use embryo glue ...well I'm gonna ask for endo scrach too ..,"every little help I think "... But u didn't mention that with your first IVF and 3 transfers they didn't ask u to use any of those extras Hun ... I'm not a expert Hun but put your mind in peace and ask for NK cells ... If is anything u need to ask I'm here Hun xx

  • Hi!Olivia, i had the embryo glue each time also i did the endo scratch. I had a long list of all the test that you can possibly do. I even had the NK killer cells check, all is fine. I checked my egg reserve for my age it was quite good. This is what is frustrating, she kept eliminating things but she can't seem to be able to find any issues. I had acupuncture, fertility massages etc. Nothing have worked so far.

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