two weeks ago today we lost our beautiful boy Harrison Lee at 36 weeks, no heartbeat on a routine midwife appt, I gave birth to him 2 days later. He was perfect, the pain I feel at the moment is indescribable, how cruel can life be, after over 3 years of trying, failed IVF and other fertility treatments we conceive Harrison on holiday, perfect ending to a heartbreaking journey of TTC. Now we are back to square one and have lost the most precious thing in the world to us. How am I ever going to go through this again...

28 Replies

  • My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel.

    Has anyone mentioned testing for Hughes syndrome (aka APS or sticky blood) It is known to cause both early miscarriage and later term losses.

    I hope you get all the support you need and take time for you and your husband to heal. I don't know what else to say, I'm so sorry. x

  • So sorry so to hear this hun. There are no words. Life is so, so cruel sometimes. I cannot even begin to understand your pain. 😔. Look after yourself lovely. Xx

  • So So Sorry to hear this . Thinking of you at this very sad time. XX

  • I'm so sorry to hear this. There are no words. It's so very cruel. Lots of love to you and your family, I'm so sorry x x x

  • so so so sorry to hear this. huge hugs n lots of love to u. tc.

  • Thinking of you at this sad time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Oh hon

    In so gutted for you :( can't even begin to imagine what you're going through :(

  • So sorry to hear this, thinking of you at this sad time . X

  • Thinking of you at this sad time, sending lots of love and hugs to you and your partner xxx 😔💙

  • Oh Im so sorry to read about your heartbreak! My thoughts are with you and your family at this terribly sad time!x

  • I am so so sorry this happened to you. My heart breaks for the grief you are experiencing. It is not fair!! I hope and pray for you to get the strength to get through this. Thinking of you x

  • No words can describe how sorry I am that you have experienced this :-(

    It's so awful...

    The miscarriage association has a website and support system in place that you might feel like looking at in your own time X

  • I feel so devastated for you. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you must be going through. Big virtual hugs to you and your husband x

  • So so sorry for your loss, we are all thinking of you. Xxxxxx

  • I'm so sorry. It's not fair. Take time to grieve and access support, such as counselling, to help to you both cope and recover. I've lost 3 babies early on but to lose your son so close to the due date must be devastating. Friends of ours lost a baby at 6.5 months, they had a ceremony with close family and friends.

    Much love to you and you other half.

  • I am so so sorry for your sad news . I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling . Be kind to yourself . I'm so sorry xxxx

  • My heart breaks for you both xxx

  • Sending you loving thoughts. Be kind to yourself during this sad time X

  • I can't even begin to feel anything you do...

    No words of wisdom no words of solace will make you feel better.

    Massive hugs for you and I hope that the pain will ease. Xx

  • I am so sorry to hear this 😢 Life is so cruel. Look after yourself xxx

  • I am sure no words will give you comfort right now, I cannot begin to comprehend the devastation and so sorry to hear x

  • Hi Bumpwanted. Well, just what do you say when an event like this happens?? It happened to me and my husband many years ago, something you will never forget, but it does ease as time goes by. You will carry on because you want a baby so much, and when he/she does arrive, you will have so much to tell him/her when older. You will remember Harrison always, as we remember Gregory. Life can be so cruel at times, but hopefully you will get the joy you both deserve. Thinking of you both. Diane

  • Thank you Diane. I am sorry that you have also gone through this horrendous ordeal. Life feels very cruel right now but it's good to hear it eases I really hope it does because the feeling is unbearable at times. We have the funeral on the 1st June, I am dreading saying goodbye to our beautiful little man. I am so scared of trying again because it took us so long with little Harrison and so much heartache. How will I ever relax in pregnancy again! I am desperate to be pregnant again, not to replace Harrison but just to fill this emptyness I feel! Sorry for rambling my head and heart are all over the place!

    Thank you so much for your reply xx

  • Hi Bumpwanted. Well, do look forward to saying goodbye to Harrison on the 1st June. It won’t be easy, but believe me it does help with starting to move on from such a cruel event in your life. When we lost Gregory, there wasn’t much in the way of funerals for stillborn babies, but we insisted and kept his ashes for a little while. My own mother lost her first baby when he was 3 days old (would have been my big brother), and we found that he had been buried in a cemetery in Shrewsbury in an unmarked grave. Our precious Gregory was put in with his “uncle Geoffrey” and we had a small “book” headstone put on with their names on. We go there each year to remember both of them, which gives us great comfort. We did go on to have a family after treatment, but I still remember the fear of anything happening again, so I feel your anxiety. You will hopefully go on to have another little one, because you want to be a Mum and Dad, and I’m sure you will be watched and monitored like a hawk when the time comes. I will be thinking of you on the 1st and hope that all goes as well as it can when you say “goodbye” to your little man. Remember him always. Diane

  • I can't imagine what you are going through. Thinking of you at this sad sad time. Sending love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Oh you poor words...simply sending you huge hugs love and blessings.

  • Hi my Dear, Really really sorry to read this, you poor love, I cant imagine what you going through, sending you huge hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Thank you everyone xx

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