Advise needed again :)

I have been thinking about going for counselling or to group meetings and I was wondering have any of you ladies tried this and what's your thoughts on it? I just feel like I have nobody to talk to :( my friends and family are amazing but they just don't understand, I sometimes get so frustrated I cry and snap at people and that's not me, I'm usually such a happy bubbly person but lately I don't know who I am ;( xx

10 Replies

  • Hi Rach_87- I know the feeling cus sometimes I feel as much as our family and friends are great sometimes you need to rant to someone who understands and listens! Keep your chin up luv xxx

  • Yes that's exactly it, I'm feeling like I do everyone's head in sometimes lol so if I got to speak with people in my position it might help even a wee bit :) worth a try I guess. Thank you xx

  • Totally get what your saying! Drop me a DM if you need too! We're all in this together! X

  • I know exactly how you feel xxx

  • I felt exactly the same, especially just before starting IVF. I saw a counsellor, found one privately who specialises in infertility. She was a great help to me. Helped me see some positive aspects in the whole process. Might be worth looking into or giving it a try. If it's not for you, you can always stop. I wish you well x

  • Hi Rach,

    I know exactly how you feel and I feel as if at times i'm a totally different person than usual and I get angry and short tempered as well. It's totally normal. Friends and family are amazing and can be a great support but unless they have been through something similar they don't really understand and don't always say the right thing.

    Like my granny keeps telling me to relax and keeps giving me Jade for luck, God bless her but the point is they want to help but don't always do or say the right thing.

    I went to see a counselor who specialised in Fertility counselling and it did really help. She got me to see and think about some things differently which was great. Be prepared though because I did find it very emotional and cried a few times which I didn't think would happen sitting with a stranger. I would definitely recommend it.

    I've never been to a group meeting but I think that would be helpful as well because I have to say this site has helped me enormously as a group chat, I've been so overwhelmed by the strength and support I've received from people I don't even know but we are all going through the same feelings, struggles and emotions and I suppose that's why we are all compelled to help each other.

    Don't forget you are the same person you always have been but you're going through a very difficult time and that can cause so much stress and anxiety that your mood is bound to change. The things you are feeling are emotions and not who you are as a person. Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure you are doing great!

    Hang in there and lots of luck xx

  • I would thoroughly recommend counselling and we have a support group nearby which has been fantastic for meeting others, finding out more info, not feeling alone, even having a laugh with people that understand! It's a very supportive and open environment. I must admit I didn't want to go on my own at first but thankfully hubby has always been keen to go and it was the first time he spoke to anyone let alone other guys about infertility. Not that it's for all men, some don't come. But I really recommended all round! And if there isn't a group near to you advertised on the INUK website then you can start up a peer led group and I think that would feel really good helping others at the same time that feel the same as you.


  • Hi there, I have lovely friends and family, but they will admit they have no idea how I feel, currently on 3rd cycle of IVF, BFN 1St round, miscarriage 2nd and egg collection tomorrow. I had councilling twice but Throughout I have attended a support group for nhs or private and anyone welcome. It's in Harley street at the London's woman clinic, look on fertility support Anya and meetings held one Monday a month, I'm there next Monday. It takes me an hour to travel but been my saviour, I have met so many amazing people, learnt so much and felt apart of something..really recommend..I can't imagine doing this without this now. Best of luck to you xxx

  • I've had counselling in the past as well as CBT which have both helped and would thoroughly recommend. I completely understand how you feel, and this forum is a brilliant way of sharing support and advice with amazing people who are in the same boat but you can't beat face to face!

    My friends and family that know what we're going through have been well meaning and supportive in their own ways but sometimes that's not the most sensitive or understanding way!! It's not their fault, they just don't "get" it.

    You need an outlet just for you/the two of you with someone or a group of people that you can talk openly with.

    It's good to let your emotions out too... my acupuncturist talks a lot about Chinese medicine and how they believe that you need to let out your emotions straight away and not hold them in as it's bad for your emotional well being and general health and needed to balance your yin/yang... I suppose it's common sense really! Best of luck lovely xx

  • I would recommend counselling as I have been having sessions through the fertility clinic and find it really helpful. I feel I can talk about all the feelings I have openly and about my day to day life and how I can be happy at one minute and then be upset the other. Give it a go! xxx

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