What is wrong with me

So I am officially 8 weeks pregnant today after 1x miscarriage at 2 weeks and 1x miscarriage at 7 weeks, I am so happy to be pregnant but I feel like I can’t relax until I get to the 12 week safe zone, I feel like it is selfish for me to think like this when there are others who have not had there BFP yet. My best friend has just sent me a text to say she is 4 weeks pregnant, I keep asking myself now, what if I lose my little one and have to see my best friend pregnant and having a baby. I feel like a bad person for thinking these things, I am made up for her because I know she has been trying for a year and has now eventually got pregnant naturally.

7 Replies

  • Honey

    It's taken so long for you to get to where you are , its hard :( it's terribly worrying. Your feelings are normal. Don't beat yourself up for feelings, they are how they are.

    I have a friend through Ivf, same period time, same FET. I'm dreading knowing it won't work for me and will for her.

    We are human

    We don't always think what people feel we should!

    Massive hugs

    Massive prayers x

  • I know exactly how you feeling Hun! I have 3 people quite close to me all due with in 2 weeks of me! My neighbour & my cousin r 2 weeks before me and my friend 2 weeks after! I was terrified to tell anyone after I found out bout them, it was like so much pressure and what if's it does drive u crazy and I'd love to say it will pass..... But if ur only half as crazy as me! It won't u just deal with it better 😬🙈😂 Lol It's cause u want it so bad and so scared and us IVF mummies Google everything and know everything that can go wrong! i remember always saying e.g "if everything goes ok I'll do this, or that" it was like I couldn't commit to that reality of actually being pregnant!!

    Ur not being selfish or a bad person at all this process sends u crazy! And u have every right to be scared don't beat urself up about that too! You will relax and start to enjoy it soon I promise 😌

    Big hugs 😘😘

  • Congrats on your 8 week mark! That's fantastic and so encouraging 😊 I can really sympathise with the way you are feeling at the moment. I think like LadyBoss said, us IVF gals can't help but google everything & because pregnancy becomes SUCH a far off 'unreachable' goal it feels totally surreal when it does happen. And especially as we've all usually been through a hell of a lot and a hell of a wait to get to this point, with ups and downs along the way, it is a massive worry that there will be more stumbling blocks, in fact you can't help but just expect it. I don't know if it's self preservation or what, but I think it's really natural to be feeling like that. Keep positive, you will get there! X

  • Oh Suzanne, there's nothing 'wrong' with you! It's perfectly normal after all you've been through to find the first trimester of pregnancy stressful. I know I did! I also found telling people quite stressful. We only told very close friends and family we were expecting initially and I kept a mental note of everyone we had told so that we could let them know if it all went wrong! At 24 weeks I allowed myself to buy a few baby grows and things and started to believe it was really going to happen. But, even now at 36 weeks I still worry something is going to go wrong!

    Take care and don't be hard on yourself x

  • Hi SuzanneAM. You are perfectly normal having these feelings. If I'm honest, I don't come across many mothers to be settling down until they reach their 12/40wks milestone. Just look forward to that scan, when you will see a proper little person growing - amazing! Diane

  • I feel weird saying I'm pregnant out loud to my mum and husband. It feels like I might jinx something!

  • You're completely normal! I felt the same until after my 12 week scan and even then I thought going public would jinx it. I'm now 31 weeks and Ive only bought those things with a long lead time... (Really do need to start buying everything else soon though!) I think it's natural that because we've been through so much to get here we worry about it, especially for you who's already had your hopes raised twice. All I can say is look after yourself and don't overdo things. And try and enjoy the journey if you cann

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