Trying to work out Plan B

I've got a final attempt at IUI around February time which just seems ages off. I've had 2 failed attempts already which is heartbreaking and so for the 3rd I thought I would give my body time to recover by waiting an extra month. But what happens after that attempt, the way I see it, I can either go to another clinic and have a round of IVF or use donor eggs as well as donor sperm. Does anyone know whether there are any London clinics (preferably near to Waterloo) who have an upper age limit they treat women till? I don't know if I can do all this on my own, I really didn't think life would turn out to be so hard. Nothing seems to be going right and where on earth is my future taking me, god only knows. I can't even have a glass of wine as I'm trying to eat a healthy diet to give myself the best chance I can have.

8 Replies

  • Hey dinstinction72, I'm so sorry for your situation, I sometimes think that this journey makes us really question things! I hope that its third time lucky for you! 😊🍀 I'm a similar age as you, please don't give up hope, you want to be a mum so much and may the life we yearn for so much truly begin for us forty somethings next year! Take care, happy to chat if you want to pm me xx

  • It's always good to hear from people who are the same age! Here's hoping next year is our year. I will PM you, thank you x

  • Distinction. Back up plans are always good. Glad you are thinking about it. While I (ideally) want another three goes, I am out of money. But, also (at 43) out of time. I need to look into this. Perhaps have another three goes at my awful clinic (if they allow it), and then shift everything to somewhere else and do the embryo transfers when I am feeling more confident. But, I really do need to look into this. I may create a post now... :)

  • Hi

    I don't know about clinics in London but just wanted to say hi and give you my support.

    This is a hard journey, just had a failed donor egg IVF cycle, second cycle with FET in between, first a pregnancy and early miscarriage followed by 2 BFN. I know how you start to doubt everything and whether our dream will be fulfilled. Here's to a really good 2016 and some good news.


  • Yes, this year has been hard for me in many ways. I have given the whole year to my treatment, so haven't been able to work. Sounds like you have been through it too, so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. Here's to a better year ahead and please let me know how you get on x

  • Hello distinction72,

    I'm sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. I know a few months can seem like an eternity on this journey! I would try to use the time to get into a positive place and build your strength mentally as I think this will help with your next round - counselling is great, if you can't do this try writing down all your feelings (it doesn't need to be every day) or a class like yoga or tai chi which is great for relaxation. I also used to do the adult colouring in books which I found helped me to relax and take my mind off things.

    Hopefully your 3rd IUI will work and there will be no need to consider further options. If you do then I think whether to try IVF with your own or donor eggs may depend on how many rounds you can afford to pay for. If it's only one then donor eggs will probably give you the best chance of success.

    Good luck and take care x

    P.s. I would also have a glass of wine if you want one! I don't think depriving ourselves of the occasional treat helps!

  • I'm trying to change my diet to help my chances but it is miserable! No caffeine I can cope with, no alcohol (is hard especially if you've had a bad day), I only drink at the weekends anyway, I'm going to have some over the xmas period so for another weekend it shouldn't be that bad. As I have Insulin Resistance which causes your hormones to go out of sorts, I'm also try to have little diary and no poultry as I believe this doesn't help them.

    Also this waiting does my head in as what else do you do to fill your time, I have one of those colouring books but haven't done it yet! I guess a lot of my problem is, I'm bored, I never thought I would say that as I thought it was only children who said that!

    Yes, maybe a relaxation class would be a good idea, thank you and best wishes to you too x

  • Hello wish you all the best with the outcome of your cycle and say not to give up. I cannot help much with clinics in London, but my friends and some ladies from that forum undergo ivf abroad, as it more pocket friendly with good service. And sorry I do not know what age limit is at clinics overseas, but you can ask ladies, who are very supportive or mail clinics.

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