Donor eggs backup plan - which nationality would best match me?

[Orangeflowers]

Hi all,

I have my FET soon with my only 2 blastocysts I managed to bank. I am going to be pretty down if it doesn't work and have only managed to get through this process by having a backup plan or next step all the way along.

I have researched donor eggs in north Cyprus and was going to go there in January if this last shot doesn't work. I was planning on donor eggs, with possibly a tandem cycle with my eggs (as that can be done for only £1k more!) and cytoplasmic transfer with PGD and gender selection.

However, with all the recent devastating news I'm afraid of a terrorist threat in northern Cyprus. Maybe I'm being too over cautious? But I would be travelling with my 2 year old daughter and would not put her at risk.

Anyway I've started to look at other countries (top 2 - Czech Republic, Poland; possibly Greece, Spain).

Poland is really cheap, but I've never heard of anyone going there!? Anyone?

I'm also thinking about how many donor profiles I want to buy to select. I asked my partner if he had a preference on nationality. I think the profiles would be described as western European, but then I might get to pick eg Ukrainian, Russian. My partner said the main thing would be that the child would look like it was ours. He said donors from other nationalities may have distinct features and eg look Russian and not like our child. He asked me to research which nationality would look most like (white, British, though he's 1/4 German). I haven't found anything online! Any thoughts?? I'd just assumed western European would fit the bill.

I think I would be very lucky to find a British donor in any of the countries I'm looking at.

Hope everyone is doing well xx

[BearPanda]

Hello! I'm not using an egg donor, but I'm doing my first IFV cycle in Poland and I'm super happy with the quality of service. Doctors are very thorough and you consult them at every single meeting rather than nurses. I know they offer donor egg service and they do a genetic and facial feature match. If you want their details drop me a DM.

[Orangeflowers in reply to BearPanda]

Thank you so much 🙏 Yes - please can you PM me the name of your polish clinic? Do they use facial recognition software? Hope your journey is going well x

[treezuk]

you would be very unlikely to find a english donor in most countries as they have to be a citizen of that country usually.

What i will say is as a British white person myself of course this is a worry when selecting donors however as someones whose been through it you can never really work out and know what your child is going to look like.

We went to Greece and so so happy with the results , twin boys and they both have a good mix of me and my husband (im happy to PM you a pic if that helps) the donor we used was probably more like my husband than myself but i figured his genetics played a huge part anyways so it would at least make sure that they had features that resembled him.

I am dark blonde blue eyed , donor was light brown haired and green/hazel eyes , my hubby is dark blonde & green/hazel eyes

One twin was born with light brown hair and light blue eyes , the other born dark blonde hair and dark blue eyes - now at 4yo they both have a dark blonde / light brown hair colour and the one who has light blue eyes they are now green/hazel and the others have remained dark blue - one child is the spit of dad the other is similar to me and older brother whose 15 (OE/same dad)

I hope that helps a little we couldnt fault our experience with our clinic or their marching skills you just have to have faith in who you choose.

[Orangeflowers in reply to treezuk]

Thank you so much. I've done one round in Greece but with own egg rather than donor egg. I heard there is a difference depending on whether you select donor eggs from the north or south of Greece as the skin tone is different. Please can you send me a pic and the clinic name.Nice to hear your donor journey was so successful x

[treezuk in reply to Orangeflowers]

Hi , yes sure no problem at all. both my boys are fair so i think with the right clinic and they obviously meet you and them they have a good understand of skin tone etc.

ill send pm now.

[Doodlebug23]

I’m using a clinic in Spain double donor. I’m restricted as several countries do not accept singles. Czech was my first choice from recommendations, but I’m pleased with my choice cause I often get mistaken for being Spanish! My clinic matched me with my donors from my picture. Didn’t realise you could choose! Although it’s completely anonymous in Spain.

I read this the other day: reproclinic.com/blog/ivf-wi...

You may want to research waiting times too cause I think in some countries there are king waiting lists for donor eggs.

Anyway good luck. Setting off for my transfer now!!!! X

[Orangeflowers in reply to Doodlebug23]

Thank you for sharing I'll take a look at that link! Did your clinic use facial recognition software do you know? Hope your journey is going well x

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Orangeflowers]

I’ve got a friend who’s descended Portugese who’s married to someone blonde and both kids are blonde and look like him so it’s random anyways lol!

My clinic don’t use software but read others do x

[Twiglet2]

I think the characteristics are more important than the actual country of birth for example the hair colour, skin tone eye colour etc. white British is so varied that Western European might fit and might not. For example our donor was danish as we were trying to match my wife’s lighter hair colour with tanned skin so Scandinavian fit the bill more but when we looked to match mine (dark brown hair and lighter skin) it was more Russian and German matches that were coming up. Not sure if that helps any but do they match in characteristics rather than nationality at all at an of these clinics? We got tonnes of info as it was open donation but surely even with closed you get a bit of info? Xx

[Orangeflowers in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you! That's definitely food for thought. It's anonymous donor's which I'm looking at so I'd have to rely on the clinic doing effective matching on the basics - hair, eye colour etc. It's just that things like face shape etc aren't mentioned which can be distinctive. Also there are different prices for different numbers of profiles to show you - either 1 basic matched profile, or 3 or 5 to pick from for a few thousand more. You pay a deposit though, so don't want to pay and find I don't like the matched profile. I'd assume if I paid for one match it should be the one most like me?By open donation, do you mean non anonymous in the UK? I think most clinics abroad are anonymous?

Hope all is going well x

[Twiglet2 in reply to Orangeflowers]

Yeah open donation they can be contactable when child is 18. It was sperm thoug not egg but think it’s the same either way for the clinics in the UK now?

Ah yeah you would want to make sure you are on the right path if you have to pay a deposit for sure! Defo some countries have different face shapes generally etc but it’s just so hard as even in one country everyone is sooo different! We used donor sperm and little boy looks nothing like me or the donor (we had a baby pic) even with all the pages and pages of info and the pics we had! he looks very much like my little brother though who is the only one in our dark haired and dark eyed family to be blonde and blue eyed so there’s just no guarantees and honestly it doesn’t really matter once they are here 🤗 the one thing people do ask about is his height he’s so tall and that’s defo the donor who was 6ft 6 as I’m so tiny so that is maybe one to consider a bit more? I’m glad we will have someone who can reach the top shelves in the house though 😂

good luck for your FET and lots of options to consider for your back up plan sounds a good place to be in xx

[Orangeflowers in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you. Lots of food for thought!

[AloeDuck]

Hi! I’m going in for my second DFET now. I had to have donors because insufficient egg quality. I’m so happy with our child and experience, the clinic have done a wonderful job. In Czech Republic they have an extensive range and people are just like the UK, very mixed. They was once ruled by romans just like UK and evolved in a similar way. My child has similar features to me and people say they looks like me. You come to realise that genetics is crazy when you look at everyone and realise that there’s so many people that don’t look like their parents and have individual qualities. The main thing is being able to have the amazing bond and they still get our DNA! I would definitely recommend Reprofit clinic in Czech Republic.

[Orangeflowers in reply to AloeDuck]

Thank you! I hadn't heard of the Roman thing before. Thank you for the recommendation! I'm struggling to get clinics in Czech Republic to respond right now x

[Lolliv]

We’re using a clinic in Czech Republic and they insisted on having a set of photos of me so that they could match a donor.

[Orangeflowers in reply to Lolliv]

Thank you. Would you be able to recommend the clinic on pm?

[Boo718]

hello we have gone down the double donor route and honestly she looks like a niece on my side and her fraternal granny everyone has commented that xxx

[Orangeflowers in reply to Boo718]

Fantastic 😍 thanks for sharing x