2ww Blues. Need to find hope - Fertility Network UK

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2ww Blues. Need to find hope

Megandlandon profile image
11 Replies

Hi girls! Been a while since I posted but I am needing to hear some uplifting success stories from an FET cycle. Just a little about me...... Almost 35 years old, underwent a failed Clomid and IVF cycle in 2015. Transferred one embryo on my fresh after I hyper stimulated and came close to having OHSS, went onto a BPN beta in May 29th. I had 3 frosties left that are blasts, and we just transferred TWO last week on Wednesday right before Thanksgiving. As I sit her letting my mind race, I am worried it's not going to work. I have almost no symptoms which I pay no attention to because last time my progesterone injections mocked pregnancy symptoms and it wasn't the case. I just feel low abdomen pressure if that makes sense which could be chalked up to the Estrace and prog. Who knows! I guess I need to hear some uplifting stories from situations similar to mine. All I have is time until my beta on 12-4 and it's killing me mentally. I have not tested early and will not as I don't want to relive the pain twice if it fails. I appreciate any comments! Thank you!

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Megandlandon profile image
Megandlandon
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11 Replies
Kelly-03 profile image
Kelly-03

Hi,

Keep positive the 2ww is so hard and just enjoy the feeling now that you don't know X you may get your miracle I hope you do X

Hepzibah profile image
Hepzibah

Hello you! It's very good news that you have managed to crack on with it. Unfortunately, and despite all of our attempts, we have not yet had to undergo a transfer (although this is imminent). I cannot imagine it for myself, I am constantly predicting to myself that it will be a failure in any case, since I don't want to have the bad news hit me too hard (if you see what I mean). All I can say is, relax and take it easy... you never know. Now may indeed be your time! All the very very best, and keep us posted on your journey. Much love and good thoughts... H.

Megandlandon profile image
Megandlandon in reply to Hepzibah

Have you not had a transfer yet?

I sure hope things work out for you no matter what. Any one that decides to go through IVF should be put on a pedastal because it's extremely difficult emotionally to go through. What's so strange is I have been cycling through this FET for over 2 months from the start of taking birth control and never had any real anxiety or worry. Now, I am a train wreck. It's just taking every ounce I have to not go get a pregnancy test but I did that last time and it almost killed me. I figured I would rather go through the pain once. The days are longer waiting for my beta. I guess if I had some symptom then it would reassure me but then again I would still worry because I know what the prog and Estrace can do with side effects. I appreciate everyone writing me with some positive news because anything helps.

Hepzibah profile image
Hepzibah in reply to Megandlandon

Hello! No, not yet. We have frozen. Three quick IVFs since May. We have 15 [Day 1] embryos in storage, but I am not hopeful. Day 1 tells us nothing, and I am older... so, we are opting for a transfer soon (just wanted the drugs out of my system, as apparently the womb is more receptive). No money left, but if I could I would have another three goes with freezing, etc. I just bought a lottery ticket (haha). It could be that you felt more symptoms the first time around because you had had hormone treatment. I think it may be slightly different with a frozen embryo transfer, so I wouldn't worry too much at this stage... you just never know. We all over-analyse every little thing, but where does it get us, except stressed out? Just try to relax and eat nice things... :)

Mandy_K profile image
Mandy_K

Hello

I had a FET on Monday and the wait for me too has been too much. I too have practically no symptoms but again like you last time I did have some so got my hopes up . I did test though 5 and 6 days past transfer but the nurse told me that was way too early. My beta is on 5 Dec and I am so nervous. I have no symptoms. If you are happy to do so can you let me know how it goes for you ?

Megandlandon profile image
Megandlandon in reply to Mandy_K

I sure will let everyone know! I have been down the road before of delivering bad news from failed cycles. I sure hope it works for you and keep me posted as well!

Megandlandon profile image
Megandlandon in reply to Mandy_K

Was your hpt positive?

smallcat profile image
smallcat

Hi,

Having had a BFN form a fresh cycle in the summer I then had a FET in October. I went into the FET feeling fairly pessimistic and had zero symptoms during 2ww so by test day was sure it hadn't worked, but guess what it did! Now am 9 weeks pregnant.

I was positive and hopeful for the failed cycle then negative and not hopeful during the 2nd successful one, so don't worry too much about your attitude. It can be too exhausting to force yourself to be positive all the time, and I really don't think it changes the outcome of what is a physical process.

The embryo will either implant or not, in some ways I do believe the embryo has it's own agenda and intention, so I found it easier to accept that rather than worry about what I was feeling and thinking having a huge impact.

Btw I did have symptoms during the failed cycle, but they were from the progesterone too.

Best wishes for your cycle, xxx

Megandlandon profile image
Megandlandon in reply to smallcat

So good to hear because I literally had more symptoms from my fresh cycle that failed and now I have ZERO, zilch, nada! Again, I am keeping the thoughts of it not working on the back burner. It's way too difficult to stay positive the whole time because after you have a failed cycle, I just feel jaded. It's no one's fault but I get angry every time it happens and then of course sadness kicks in.

Hepzibah profile image
Hepzibah in reply to Megandlandon

Yes. My first failure, I just couldn't get over it. I could not see a way forward... however, I have been better prepared with each time, but of course the last three times, we have frozen. So I have not yet faced a further disappointment. But it's coming... I am in the zone that belives it won't work, this is how I am coping, because I don't want to feel the way I did in January / February / March. It was just somewhere that I don't want to go to again. A dark time. I am in a much more positive frame of mind, and this does help, I'm sure... H.

Oooh hon, the 2ww is horrid, we become Google and symptom obsessed and then get told off about it and told to relax!!!

It's like telling you " don't think of bananas " what are you thinking of now? ;)

Hang in there, we are in December now :) the worst is over to date, just a couple more days.

I use the colouring books whilst pretending to watch TV to avoid what my hubby called mobile obsession ;)

Sending you loads of luck xx

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