Didn't even make it to test date

So I posted yesterday about spotting at 9dp5dt. Today (10dp5dt) AF has come in full force. Test date isn't until Tuesday (13dp5dt) and I can't help but feel cheated that we didn't even make it there. We're utterly devastated, deep down we really thought it would work. I am angry at the clinic for not warning us that this could happen. Completely heartbroken and cruelly have to keep using the pessaries like we're still in with a chance. Apologies for the negative post but really need to 'say it out loud' to people who understand xx

17 Replies

  • So sorry that it hasn't worked x x thinking of you xxx

  • I'm so very sorry to hear this and know the exact same pain as the same thing happened to me. Like you I wasn't warned this could happen so was working my way to test date and was utterly shocked when everything went wrong a week after ET. The hospital couldn't give any advice or support and like you say, having to continue with the pessaries seems to make it even worse. Let yourself be angry, upset and please cry as much as you need to. This is an awful process and you have been through so much. Sending you love and support at this awful time xxxx

  • Thank you. I honestly don't know how we're going to cope, especially financially, we only get one funded go. Did you get any answers? I tried calling our clinic but there was no answer, having to wait ok Monday to speak to someone is even more salt in the wound xx

  • We only get one funded cycle too so I think the added pressure adds to all the stress. We had a follow up appointment with our consultant this week and although he was very nice he really just wanted to say sorry it didn't happen and hopefully next time will work! I asked him a lot of questions and think I drove him mad a bit as eventually he sent me for blood tests and an appointment for another scan. My argument to him was as we are unexplained infertility what else can we check before rushing into more IVF. If our problem in a simple imbalance somewhere that would be picked up with more testing then surely that is what we should do. I was very upset and he has recommended counselling which I know I need so I am trying to arrange my first one. He also mentioned next time I may need more progesterone, possibly in injection form as maybe this time I didn't get enough. It was still all very vague and I still feel quite lost.

    I'm here to chat if ever you need someone and please try not to think too far down the line as it gets very overwhelming. Just take things one day at a time and slowly it will get easier. Xxxxx

  • Not really all they said was that maybe I did not absorb the progesterone so next time I could try injectable. Have you any frozen embryos to try ?

  • That's what makes me cross, with my previous history they've know it could be a progesterone issue. No frozen. Got to look at the financials now for a whole new round. Xx

  • Life's so unfair at times! Thinking of you x

  • Hi, I am so so sorry to hear this has happened! You have every right to feel how you are feeling. It is so unfair. Thinking of you x

  • Hello. I'm so sorry it's happened. It also happened to me where I didn't get to test day. It won't be the clinics fault they didn't tell you that it could happen, I asked my clinic why I didn't get to test day and how come as I thought the pressaries were meant to stop any bleed. Which is true. So they can't know what your body will do. So in my case it wasn't a viable embryo and so by body did its thing as cruel as that is and got rid of it. Do keep taking the pressaries until test day. I know that sucks but you would kick yourself if you didn't and then it turned out to be positive. Take care. Lots and lots of love. Xxxx

  • I am so sorry this happened to me and they never explained it could happen. I was heartbroken :( are u unexplained infertility or do u need IVF to conceive? U will pick yourself up eventually Hun xx it's such a hard thing to experience I am so sorry xx

    To give u hope I just got a natural BFP after 2 failed embryo transfers and TTC for 3 years! There is always hope and miracles happen every day xx

    Take care and just drink, eat what u like and try and do stuff u enjoy once u r ready xxx

  • Thank you. I can't get past the anger at the clinic. We've miscarried twice (natural conceptions before over active thyroid destroyed most of hubbys sperm production cells) and they've completely ignored it, kept saying it wouldn't impact this. It is such a cruel process I don't know where all you lovely ladies get the strength to keep trying xx

  • Oh Kateamelia im so sorry to hear your news this is so unfair. Allow yourself to be angry and cry as much as you need to. Hopefully you'll get a follow up consultation soon and be able to discuss what's happened. Our inner strength is what pulls us ivf girls through. Sending big hugs your way 💜 x x

  • I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I have had two failed donor iui's and both ended with AF showing on day 9/10. It is heartbreaking and so fustrating when no one understands the pain it causes. I took 6 months off from ttc and am trying for my 3rd iui next month x

  • So sorry you're going through this, it's happened to me on both our ICSI attempts, it's heartbreaking still doing the pessaries and going to the clinic for a test when you know...big hugs xxx

  • I'm so sorry hun. I feel ur pain. This has happened both ivf attempts for us. Spoke to my GP about it and she said clinics tend to set the test date later than it needs to be to try and ensure an accurate result.

    I also felt angry at my clinic as I wasn't warned about this. When I rang the clinic saying I started bleeding they said it still happens to some and they have a positive result but I knew it was over.

    Take care and I hope u get the answers ur looking and hoping for xxxx

  • Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, it really means more than you'll ever know. I can't believe my body has been so stubborn and just gone about business as usual regardless of all the meds etc! Xx

  • I'm so sad to read this. It must be so so incredibly painful right now. This whole journey is just such an emotional rollercoaster. I hope in time you can find ways to move forward and start to heal yourself. One things for sure... This process forces us all to be so strong.

    Thinking of you xxx

You may also like...