First time post...

[EmJayne91]

Hello everybody, first of all let me introduce myself. My name is Emma and I'm 23 years old. My partner and I Have been trying for a baby for 3 and a half years. Unfortunately nothing has ever happened for us, so we decided to see our GP. I've had all of the general blood tests and procedures which I'm sure you all have gone through. I had my results last weeks and the doctors advised for us to just go straight for IVF. I need to loose about another stone in weight before they can proceed, bit apparently I am on the waiting list. I have absolutely no idea what to expect over the next few months?! Apparently the next step is we will be invited to a group advice session, but I would like to have a bit of better knowledge before I go, and who better than to get advice from you lovely ladies who have already gone through the same.I would love if some of you could share with me some of your experiences and thoughts. I obviously have my other half Markie but he is a typical male who is more interested in fifa I've told my family and close friends but none have gone through this so I feel like they don't understand, having a baby is literatly the first thing I think of when I wake up and last thing I think of at night. Breaks my heart how hard it is, when can be so easy for others anyway sorry for going on, thanks for reading, and hope to hear from some of you soon xxx

[Hidden]

Hello Emma . And welcome! I hope you find this site as useful for info and incredibly supportive network of caring ladies/gents who DO understand the pain infertilty brings.

My name is Jess I'm 33, I have a 16 year old son(from a previous relationship) my husband and I started trying for a baby when we got married which will be 4 years this august. Ours was unexplained by medical experts for many years till May this year, a fibroid was in the lining of my uterus which was picked up in an ultrasound late march (due to bleeding in between my periods investigations were run). Saw a general gynae consultant last month who (unlike my gp who said fibroid did not affect my fertility), confirmed fibroid is affecting my fertility by being in that location prevents any potential embryos implanting. So I'm at moment awaiting a date for surgery to have the fibriod removed, luckily it's a private hospital that treats nhs patients to, so waiting lists are much quicker than an nhs hospital.

I can't really comment on ivf as I never had ivf treatment. I was due to start ivf April this year but obviously I had to cancel coz of the fibriod. Many ladies on here will be able to advise better on the ivf front.

On the weight front I also had a battle with my weight. I like many women put on weight whilst on the birth control (haha if I'd known how hard it was to get pregnant I wouldn't have bothered being on the pill!!) But anyway husband And I started the c to 5k running program, that allows you to build the running up slowly to aviod any injuries. For me I'm not a natural runner lol but I really surprised myself. I never thought I'd ever run 5k! But over 2 years I've been running 5k 3/4 x a week. I actually enjoy it too!! It really worked I've never lost weight as quick as when I started running I literally lost inches of my waist with regularly running. And it's stayed off too!!! I have found as I'm exercising I tend to eat better than I used to lol! I don't skip carbs or anything stupid like that. I do fill my plate up with lots of vege it's surprising how filling vege is!! Just an idea Hun it worked for me. And it's free!!!Also by doing regular exercise it helps stress a little.

Please know your feelings are perfectly normal. I think about babies 24/7 it's always on my mind. And yes it is different for men. It dosent appear to hurt my husband as much as it hurts me. He is wonderful at supporting me through this and unlike a lot of family/friends will let me "talk it out" and won't try to patronize me by saying it'll be ok, he acknowledges it's crap situation but he always says we are in this together and we will get through this and has a firm belief we will have a beautiful baby to show for our efforts. I do hate loading this on him all the time,so I come on here and talk sometimes and it helps. This infertilty stuff can really consume you. People not in this situation really do not understand the full impact. To say you're not alone with those feelings don't know if that helps at all.

I just want to wish you the very best with everything and hope it all goes well for you. Here if you need to talk Xxxx

[EmJayne91 in reply to Hidden]

Hello Jess, thank you for your post. Looking through everyone's comments on here, its gobsmacking how many different things can affect fertility for couples. I honestly have not heard of any of these things before, i feel so under educated about it all. I really didn't understand my doctor very well, apparently my partner has lower aperm count than normal but not by much so shouldn't effect becoming pregnant, but apparently it was 1% (don't know what that means haha) the doctor said I wasn't showing that I ovulated so that's why he put us straight onto IVF. I totally wasn't expecting it.

Thata fantastic about what you've said about your fitness, we have a parkrun every Saturday by us, that's 5k I tried it a couple of weeks ago, I came last, was so embarrassing!! Ive been going on my own little runs since and I can defiantly notice an improvement but still not great, I suppose it takes time to build up your stamina. I have lost a stone already, and took before photos and photos again after my stone, I was so happy with myself it was a great motivator. Im the same as yourself though I've cut out all the rubbish and sugars etc but I'm waiting more at the minute than ever and still loosing weight it's great

What will happen for you now then once you have the fibroid removed? Xxx

[Spongy]

Hi Emma, I have never posted on here before but when I read you post, I really wanted to respond. I'm sorry to hear that things are really tough for you and your other half, we are in a very similar situation.

I'm 30 and my partner is 33, we've been trying to conceive our first baby for 2 years. I have been diagnosed with pcos and was advised to have surgery. I had the surgery but it failed completely and I still have absolutely no periods, therefore no chance of conception! Im waiting for my next appointment now to discuss our next options. every day feels like a lifetime.

I completely understand your feelings of how wanting a baby takes over your every thought. It takes over my mind and I can barely concentrate sometimes. I also feel myself welling up with tears at random moments and feel so removed from all my friends. It feels like everyone else gets pregnant so easily and facing up to our infertility has been so painful.

Have you had to have any time off work?

I hope this helps you to feel less alone. Reading your post certainly did that for me xxx