When you see it in writing

Just got the letter through from our consultants appointment last week having been told other half has low sperm count. Seeing it all written down has just made me burst into tears. We knew his count was low 2 million but she has also said the motility is 6% I presume that's terrible too? Her letter actually say "less than 2 million per ml with motility of 6%. In light of severe oligozoospermia I think it would be very important for us to do further investigations" (hormone profile, carrier type, chromosome microdeletion and cystic fibrosis gene cgane) we knew they were doing that just looks so overwhelming on paper. She may have mentioned the 6% motility but we in such shock we may have missed it!

What's annoyed me is that his next sperm sample isn't until the end of June and the next appointment with consultant is Middle May so have to call them to put back the appointment so we have all results back.

I've not been too bad since finding out about the sperm. Been ok at work and was going to see my friends new born today (born the evening we found out about bad sperm!) but I just don't think I can, I know I'm just going to be an emotional wreck seeing her and just don't feel I want to feel like that right now? Can't really explain it I love her to bits and her little boy she already had but the thought of being upset when she's so happy I can't do.

Sorry for the rant guys hope you are all ok xx

7 Replies

  • We have different circumstances to you but believe me still totally understand how you feel we all have bad days and I actually think they make good days better . That may sound crazy. I have 2 sisters in laws pregnant that live in Ireland and I'm dreading when there born and we go to vist so full of mixed emotions happy for them but there's always in the back of my mind why do I have to go threw IVF!

    What I'm trying to say your not alone in all these emotions and thoughts

    Good luck with your journey


  • You've just got to try remain positive & be happy for your friend - I totally understand though, in the wait to start IVF everywhere I looked I saw pregnant women & babies - you just need to keep thinking 'my time will come'. There are so many things they can do these days with fertlity issues - it's just the waiting that's the hardest. Once they start IVF though everything speeds up & you feel better; it's still filled with waiting but it gets easier! 👍 I had loads wrong: slow tubes, endometriosis, polysystic ovaries & a fibroid plus my hubbie had low good sperm....1st IVF done & I'm 8 weeks pregnant 🙏 it can work x

  • Hi we have the same circumstances as you. My husband had less than 3million & 4% motility.

    We have just had our first transfer of 2embryos & as I am not known to have any issues I have to believe things will work.

    Remember it's normal to have resentment towards him sometimes but I have kept reminding myself he's not done it on purpose & would change it in an instant if he could.

    It's hard now but everyday is a day closer. Good luck, Andrea x

  • Look at the bright side...You have swimmers they can work with, without your OH getting his nuts chopped open! my hubby has azoospermia and had to have 8 holes put in his testicles before they found a few. And I mean a few and most had broken necks...😳

    And to top off our problems I'm a nonresponder to the drugs for some unknown reason.

    You will probably have to have ICSI, where they pick the best sperm and stick it in the egg. It will all feel quite daunting, but just take it one day at a time. The Upside of ICSI is the results are the same if not better than IVF as they pick the best looking sperm.

    As for visiting your friend, I really understand. My best friend got a positive pregnancy test the day I realised I had IVF fail. She's due pretty soon, and while I know she really wants the child and is a brilliant mum, I'm a bit jealous. And both my sisters posed together in a picture for national siblings day holding their new babies... I love them and their children, but I just couldn't bring myself to be a part of that. Take it day by day. If you aren't ready to see your friend, tell her you think you're coming down with a bug and don't want to pass it to her or the baby.

    All the best.

  • Thank you guys I think the letter just tipped me over this morning I'm feeling a lot better now. I didn't see my friend as when I text her to go round she needed a nap. In a way I was relieved. Thank you and wish you all the best x

  • Hi Blondyboo, I just wanted to say that it's ok if seeing your friend and her baby is too much right now. If you need to wait until you feel a bit stronger that's fine. Take care x

  • Hi blondyboo. I understand how hard this is & feeling you can't face a pregnant friend or new baby is understandable. You will have some good days too. When I couldn't face going to a family members baby shower I came up with an excuse. I felt guilty but I knew I couldn't face it and you have to be kind to yourself. I did go to see the baby when he was born & I was dreading it but I didn't find it as bad as I expected. Everyone is different and only you know how you're feeling on a particular day. If you can't face seeing your friend & the baby then say you can't go but don't feel guilty. You need to look after yourself & what you're going through is hard.

    Good luck xx

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