Trying to stay positive, but a bit deflated after call to lab

[BluChakra]

Hi, I know I should be really happy that we had two good quality embryos transferred at day 3 on Friday, but we were told it was unlikely that they would freeze the other two even though they were also quite good. The doctor said they would leave them over the weekend and make a decision this morning about whether to freeze or discard them.

I called the lab this morning and the embryologist said they were doing to discard them. I'm a bit confused as to why they couldn't have just frozen them on Friday of they were good quality then? She seemed really blase and said this was normal, but I feel it is denying us more chances. We get one more go on the NHS if this doesn't work, but I can't help thinking if they had given me more stimulation ( I was on a low dose for my AMH) we might have got more quality embryos to work with. We got 5 eggs and 4 of these fertilised which is great, but just confused as to why they can't freeze the other two. Is it because mine would have reached blastocyst stage on Sunday and the doctors don't work on Sunday in this service?

[danielledavison]

Hi they only freeze good quality embryos/blastocysts i think by the sounds of it, the embryologist wanted to watch your day 3 embryos grow a further 2 days to see what the quality was like or if they were then suitable to freeze, it maybe that they were not in the criteria to freeze them, they use grades when they look at them and decide on the way they look before they freeze. I wish you luck for your upcoming pregnancy test x

[BluChakra]

Thanks danielle. That makes sense, but it makes me fearful about how the ones inside me are doing if the others deteriorated in the lab over the last 3 days. Just need to keep my sanity before I get to the test! x

[danielledavison in reply to BluChakra]

Hi all you can do is think of the 2 that you had transferred to be the strongest out of the 4 you had, some embryos are stronger then others. x

[BluChakra]

They were definitely the best ones. The dr said they were looking really good x

[danielledavison]

Keep positive and good luck x

[BluChakra]

Thanks Danielle. Its hard to be positive. Just decided to take a break from work to de-stress and post my dad's Just Giving Page on Facebook ( for a charity cycle I've had to pull out of because of my 2ww) only to be confronted with yet another story of a 39 year old friend who has just popped out a baby and a million other pictures of smiling babies, toddlers on swings with their mummy etc. All these women I know are in their mid or late 30s and not one has had any difficulties at all. Rant over!

[danielledavison]

Yea i know what you mean even going into the supermarkets is hard as there are babies everywhere, in the park, up the street, in the Doctors surgery ect it makes you mad dosnt it. x

[BluChakra]

I'm not so bad when it's strangers' babies, but when all these friends and friends of friend's are dropping them like hotcakes it starts to get depressing. A friend ( who knows I've been ill for years and then had surgery which is probably the main reason I can't conceive) was texting me about another friend ( who has just given birth) and told me I should be taking vitamin D3 because it's great for getting pregnant.

I know she meant well, but not only is my diet super healthy and I've been taking Vit D3 for ages anyway, but it implies if only I popped a few supplements, all the adhesions from my surgery would melt away and my AMH would go up. I just can't believe how insensitive some people can be. All these folk who get pregnant in their late 30s no problem must look at me and think it's because I'm not trying hard enough, eating the wrong things etc x

[danielledavison]

Hi sometimes people don't understand peoples infertility, like me i have had both my tubes removed and when i talk to people about this, they don't seem to have a clue what im talking about, and that they think IVF is some kind of easy thing out there that can fix it when infact IVF is no mirical worker, may i ask what your infertility is? x

[BluChakra]

Yeah I know. People don't have a clue. I was telling someone I was having IVF once and she asked what other options there are I didn't choose to 'go down that route' and I said 'er, not having any kids!' She seemed really surprised. Not only do people think IVF if a miracle worker, they think its a lifestyle choice like a boob job.

I was ill for quite a few years with ulcerative colitis which I think has made my AMH lower than it might have been at my age ( I'm 37). I also had emergency surgery in 2011 to remove my colon and now have an ileostomy bag where my waste goes instead of going to the loo. My tubes seem to be patent, but a doctor told me they were not moving because they are strangled with adhesions ( scar tissue). Then early this year I had to have another operation because adhesions were wrapped round my small intestine and blocking it too. They opened me up and sure enough there were adhesions on my tubes and one of my ovaries was stuck to something else x

[danielledavison]

You have certainly been through a lot. I really do hope you get your positive result as you deserve it x

[BluChakra]

Thank you. I hope it works for you too xxx

[Rabbits]

Try to focus on the embryos inside you...ivf is all about the steps you are taking. I felt a bit low after we only had 2 out of 14 fertilised eggs that were good enough to put back. We are 36 weeks pregant with our baby...we have non frozen and that was our only nhs go but all the advice was to focus on what was going on inside me not the freezer. I also got signed off for my 2ww and none of my work colleagues knew...but friends and family did so spent lots of time going to the cinema and to their houses and chilling out athome. Good luck and lots of positive thoughts xx

[Fanxcheeky]

Hi, yes they only freeze top quality embryos as they are more likely to survive the thawing process! I had 9 embryos and none of them were good enough to freeze, I was gutted but like u had 2 embryos transferred and am now a mummy to twin girls.

I wish u all the luck with ur 2 embryos and surviving the 2 week wait xx

[Lisaandbilly]

Not sure u should as to speak the consultant hope your ok xx

[BluChakra]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I'm feeling a bit better today. I just need to focus on these 2. My sister in law says I should talk to them. I'm trying but feel a bit daft!

[seekingpeace]

I hope it's because they only want to freeze good quality embryos. If they were 'borderline' then they wouldn't want you to go through the pain of having an unsuccessful transfer. I know how scary this must be for you. Big hugs and hoping your current transfer is successful xx

[BluChakra]

Thanks seekingpeace. This was back in September, and it was unsuccessful xx

[seekingpeace in reply to BluChakra]

Oh BluChakra, I'm so sorry. And really sorry to have brought it back up for you (although I guess it's on your mind constantly). Sending you massive hugs and wishing you peace xxx

[BluChakra]

Hi seekingpeace. It's fine, don't worry. It is on my mind, but I've had so many other health issues since the failed IVF that I'm trying to deal with those right now. We had a review appointment at the clinic recently and the doctor basically admitted that they weren't running a 7 day service because the GRI was using the Nuffield lab at the time and our day 5 would have fallen on a Sunday. So even if we had an embyro worth freezing we might never have known because they weren't dealing with NHS patients over the weekend. Our embryos were discarded on the Monday morning.

A bit annoying, especially as we only have 2 tries on the NHS and I feel in a way we got a substandard service. Thanks for the hugs xxx