No real clue...

[mimlette]

My wife (40years old) and I (34years old) are a same sex couple. We would like to try and get my wife pregnant and need some more information really.

I have two children with joint custody with their dad which results in us having them through all their school holidays, so we are a little confused by NHS funding and stuff.

We have heard of iui, but can not find much out about the funding of that or the criteria.

We would really like for my partner to experience bringing life into this world through her amazing body. I cannot carry as I have had my tubes tied.

I read a post on here posted a few years ago about trying to get funding by claiming as a single woman rather than a gay couple with children on one side.

Heard also that you can egg share for cheaper fertility treatment, I know she is too old to share, but could they take mine instead... (I know that sounds a little cheeky... Just a thought though)...

We have an appointment with a clinic in September, but would just like to know roughly where we stand... Forewarned is forearmed, and all that...

Mimlette x

P.s. we live in Southampton

[Mooster1]

Hi Mimlette.

In regards to where you stand re funding unfortunately if you or your partner has children from a previous relationship the NHS won't fund you meaning you will have to go private. I've just been through this as my partner has a son from a previous relationship who he doesn't even see so we went private.

You will find it's one of the many, many questions they ask you when you go through the fertility process besides there's checks they can do etc.

As for egg sharing this is true but not entirely sure how it would work in the given situation but if you donate some eggs the private costs can be considerably cheaper.

All I would say is prepare to self fund. We went to a private clinic in London which costs around £4500.

The NHS policy is very unfair towards women who haven't had any children but their partners have.

Wishing you and your partner lots of luck Hun. Hope I've been some help. X

[Hidden]

Hi, yes, I agree with Mooster, it's unlikely you would get NHS funding, so prepare to self fund.

If you decide to egg share, you would both need to undergo treatment, one to prepare to be a recipient - so drugs and scans on your wife to check the womb, and drugs and scans on you to check the growing of the eggs, therefore the costs are likely to be high, so not make any saving on then being an egg donor at the same time - but worth thinkig about.

It depends on how you are getting the sperm, if from a sperm donor through a clinic, then I believe that IVF is the only way forward.

the other thing you will have to think about if you are providing your own sperm donor, and perhaps working outside a clinic environment is the legal parent issue, you would need to seek advice on this, Natalie Gamble is an expert that you could have a conversation with at this stage. If using a sperm donor from a clinic, I think the position is clearer.

Good luck x