How to cope???

At 27 I married my husband 3 years ago and became a step mum to 5 children (1 20 yrs+ and 4 under 15 yrs). The following year my eldest step daughter announced she was pregnant. With myself and my husband unable to conceive together, this was a gut wrenching kick in the teeth for me and I hit an all time low that year following. Thinking of self harm, had counselling etc. I have just recently got over it and began focusing on our treatment, thinking possitive and making changes etc. 6 days before I start stimulation injections, she announces she is pregnant again. In most cases I would be over the moon but when she has a one night stand with an absolute waste of a space man, (who is the father to her first child but split after the baby was 4 months because he couldn't cope and turnt to breaking the law and taking illegal drugs) it breaks my heart and all I can think is why not me? Why is it so easy for some and is the most lengthy and painful experience for others. I am sooooooooooooo anoyed that she could not keep this to herself for a few more weeks to give me the chance of our treatment with as little stress as possibly. When all you want is to be a mum, to become a step nan first is so painful

5 Replies

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  • Hi LRH001. Can totally understand how hurtful the circumstances around you are. It doesn't seem fair that it comes so easy to some and not to others. I start my injections next month for IVF and all I seem to hear around me is births and pregnancies. The thing is because this is the focus of your life it consumes you & you start to think everything around purposes reminds you of babies when in reality you only notice these things more as you want them so badly! You have to try and think of you and you alone and know that when it happens for you you will be the best Mum & have so much love to give to baby. You need to talk and rant too that's why we have these forums as we can try to understand one another's feelings. I won't say relax as I know this is so hard to do as you want things to happen straight away but will say make sure you talk to people about your feelings and wish you all the luck! You are not alone. X

  • I know. Everywhere I look I see beautiful little babies. I can't remember the last time someone I know wasn't pregnant. I agree, this is the first time I have ever used a forum. I don't even use facebook so this is very knew to me but is such a massive help. Thank you

  • Ivf an emotional companion it really made me feel that I was not alone its short storys about women going through ivf icsi and other treatments :) please stay positive I know how hard it is I had 2rounds of ivf at 38,39 and became a mum at 40 to a beautiful baby girl who is now 19mth so there is always hope xx

  • Thank you for the support and congratulations to you

  • Thanku! I know that its a horrible feeling when everyone around you is having babies and nobody will understand that feeling your going through but stay focused and positive and always have a back up plan it might not be what you wanted in the first place but it gives you a light at the end of the tunnel x

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