A close friend has recently given birth. We met up with them 3 days before she did, and it was horrendously painful to see her huge bump, and see her complaining if her discomfort. Now that they have the baby and are home, they are pushing us to go and visit and see the baby.
How can I explain the agony that seeing a new child brings me? How seeing my husband holding a baby makes me feel, when I can't give him his own? How scared I am of being passed the baby to hold? How angry I am that she doesn't already get this? How long can I keep up the excuses? I don't want to hurt her by not participating in their joy, but it just can't do it to myself right now.