help

me and my partner have been trying to get pregnant for nearly ten years now :-( unfortunately i have pcos and my partner has a teenage son from a previous relationship so have been told over and over again we are not allowed ivf on the nhs because he has a son how is this fair? his son is a young man now who we hardly ever see its not like i had the opportunity to help bring him up as a child why is it the nhs will give methadone and heroin addicts treatment but i dont have the right to be a mum? i understand there has to be rules and they try to save money but surely im entitled to be a mother :-( i have had a large tumour removed from my right ovary but fortunatly didnt have to have anything taken away my problem is i do not ovulate i have had the clomid cycles etc but they say there is nothing i can do now apart from ivf and i dont have 5-7 grand to pay what can i do? surely there is something or some way i can get help im so desperate to be a mummy and ten years of test after test and constant disapointment is really starting to take its toll on me dont know how much longer i can go on :-( im so fed up of being down and upset and the worst part is i should be so happy for friends and family when they start a family and im starting to find it so hard now and shut my self away from them :-( please please please if anyone can help i would love for you to get in touch x

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  • Have you thought about Europe?? There are lots of clinics in Europe that do treatments for significantly less than the UK, I used Demmark but its really personal choice. I think Denmark was 4K for three cycles, so a third of that for one? Plus flights weren't very much, about 100-150. And that kind of money is much easier saved than 5-7K per go in the UK. Hope that's helpful? Keep your chin up xx

  • I'm in the same boat, we can't get help because my husband has two grown up sons!

    Unfortunately the position isn't going to change, we won't get help, and I feel like we had wasted so much time with the NHS and wish I'd paid for a private fertility check years ago. So we've had to scrimp and save everything we have, car boots and ebay to get rid of stuff etc etc. Like SachaBlack says it can work out much cheaper to go abroad for treatment, why don't you focus on looking into that, it will feel like you are being proactive and doing something positive to get what you really want.

    Good luck. xx

    ps there are also cheaper clinics in UK, less than 5K, PM if you want the name of the one were using

  • My daughter has pcos and doesn't ovulate she's had clomid but still didn't ovulate. R gp said that there's nothing more can be done for her so no point keep asking. She's no right I'm sure to say this. The only thing she has had is blood tests and 2 scans. And then she ead discharged from hospital till she loses 2 stone. She was always very skinny until pcos was diagnosed. But she still never had periods so why their blaming her weight is beyond me. No1 has ever mentioned ivf or any other treatment. She hurts constant also. Can any one help as to where she goes from ere as gp not willing to help. and good luck to everyone I hope ur time comes soon to become parents x feel for any1 who suffers x

  • Hi Tina

    Your poor daughter, sounds awful!

    Why has she no been referred? The best way to start is to write a stinking letter to the GP listing all your greviances down and asking why they've left it like this. Check the IVF allowance in her healthcare area and advise what she's entitled to. I've found when they have it on paper they have to act. If you don't get a suitable response you can go to your local MP.

    BUT if you have any spare money or can save I wouldn't waste anymore time, get a fertility MOT check from a private clinic...... That's what I wished I'd done.

    Good luck xxx

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