Hello.We have had a long infertility journey that was a struggle from multiple fronts. We now have an elective c section booked in 2 days time. I am finding myself overwhelmed with emotions. It's like the culmination of a long, hard journey.
Does anyone know about a useful podcast or blog to use to help with dealing with these emotions? Would really appreciate.
hi I haven’t listened to anything recently that would help but I was the same as you with my first IVF baby. Try and listen to music or the radio at home this last day, relax as much as you can.
Once at the hospital they’ll make you feel comfortable and supported. My c section was a good experience but you will be emotional, it’s just natural nevermind everything you’ve gone through to get to this point. Good luck and enjoy every minute xxxx
As 1st post says have a calming relaxing day beforehand Once at the hospital be sure to let the staff know how you are feeling so they can best support you It is natural to feel like this but remember soon you will have your baby in your arms to hold
Thinking of you
Janet-Partner
I also had an elective c-section with our IVF baby after a very long process. I was nervous, but I think anyone about to have a baby by whatever means is nervous, about the birth itself but then also having a new helpless (and very demanding) human to look after. I wasn't able to concentrate on books or podcasts as I was so jittery, so no tips there. But if you want any detail on the usual elective process (or at least how it happened for me) and any things I learned (including for immediately after and recovery) do feel free to PM me. But you are probably and understandably very preoccupied, so just in case it reassures, I found it very relaxed, I was the last in the 'queue' for that morning and it was pretty chilled (although I wish I'd been earlier to have had more of the nurses' time, as it got busier throughout the day). Mine turned out to be more complex than expected but I had no clue during it as the surgeons and nurses were all very professional and calm; they gave me a lot of choices - did I want delayed cord clamping, music, silence, skin on skin straight away, clean the baby first, go to partner first... all this is usually discussed in advance but they normally confirm when you're there. Mine was quite long by all accounts but was still all over in less than an hour from being called in, to being out and holding the baby. And the cup of tea they give you when you're in recovery is the best in the world 😀 I found the first night in hospital very hard, but you'll get through it. Then all the emotions and sleeplessness and worry (and happiness and relief...) that come with any new baby take over, and it's like your mind doesn't have time to think about anything else. It may be an entirely different experience for you but all the 'stuff' I'd had years to go over, be stressed about, disappointed in, sad about... all just went into the 'not immediately necessary' part of my brain, way behind the must keep baby alive instincts, through to new conundrums like when will I be able to poo again(!), and worries like why am I sweating all the time, why have my legs blown up, how do you know if the baby in tongue-tied... but mostly I.AM.STARVING!!! You will be fine (provided you have access to flapjacks at all times over the next few weeks) x
Thank you so much for the detailed picture! I have a c-section tmw, and like you I am last on the list. I was specifically thinking about the total time duration so that's good to know. I ll come to re-read this message in the coming week 😍
The night before my section I didn’t know what to do with my nervous energy and for some reason made plum jam in a kind of trance, about 12 jars of the stuff (don't do this btw, the last thing you need is a sticky kitchen!) We're still getting through it. It will all be over before you know it x
Hi lovely,
I know exactly how you feel - I was exactly the same after a gruelling IVF journey.
The day before our c-section we went for a really lovely lunch just me and hub, I had a pregnancy massage, had my hair done. I felt so ready to meet our bubba.
On the morning of the c-section, as soon as we arrived at the hospital I just melted in to a puddle. I started crying and basically didn't stop. It all just felt so incredibly overwhelming and I had all these insanely pent up emotions just raging around me.
Not to mention that I suddenly felt too underprepared for a baby - I'd spent the past 4 years telling myself that we might not ever get to this point - and even through pregnancy I didn't truly believe he would ever be in our lives - so all of a sudden it just felt too much.
I cried while they talked me through the procedure, while they gave me the epidural, while I lay on the bed and they gently pulled him half way out, I cried while he wriggled the rest of the way, and I cried when they gave him to me to hold and I couldn't feel my arms. I was just a mess.
But you know what, I'm glad I did - I needed to - it was a long time coming and that is how I felt - and that's ok.
It is overwhelming and I'm not a cry-ey kind of person, but sometimes you just have to allow yourself to feel what you feel.
So I don't have any tips to help calm you, but I would say its ok to feel like that. No amount of podcasts or distractions will stop you feeling the way you feel. Embrace it if you can. Soon you'll have your baby in your arms and you will feel a whole host of new emotions.
Sending much love to you xxx
Aww Millbanks! That sounds so much like me. I am having like 4-5 crying spells a day just at the thought of holding a baby after this long challenging journey. Thank you for sharing a true story, I will also let myself cry which I most probably would need to.
Oh love, it's a lot, it really is.
I would also say, just because you've been through so much, don't put any pressure on yourself to feel a certain way either. I was so overwhelmed by it all I didn't immediately feel that "rush of love" but it did come.... also it sounds weird but your baby is really a stranger when they are born - and the more you get to know them the more you love them.
You've got this mumma!! xx
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