Sorry this is a moan!

[HollieW]

I'm currently 8+5 after a very unexpected natural pregnancy. Initially considered to be ectopic it has now been confirmed that pregnancy is viable at 6+3 when heartbeat was detected. On Tuesday I had some spotting. This sent me in to a total panic and called EPAC who said to monitor the situation. I have continued to have some more spotting although today it has been more of a brown discharge. I called EPAC again today explaining the spotting was continuing and I was worried. They have booked me in for a scan tomorrow.

I am really badly constipated which is causing significant discomfort and bloating along with trapped wind. I have now been able to get some lactulose in the hope that eases things but the midwife indicated this could cause spotting but I had constipation in my last pregnancy and it didn't cause spotting. I had an implantation bleed around 5 weeks but nothing other than that so now I'm convinced this is the beginning of the end and symptom spotting everything!

I have horrendous nausea and sickness which I'm struggling to manage with work and a three year old and feel totally overwhelmed with it all. The anxiety of this pregnancy is through the roof and I thought I was bad last time.

Sorry for the moan but find it hard to share all my worries with friends and families as they either make me worry more or make me feel like I'm being silly. My husband is beside himself and asking me if I'm okay every 10 minutes and whilst he means well I just want to smother him at times!

I know there is nothing I can do before the scan tomorrow but I'm absolutely terrified I'm going to be told the pregnancy is over 😭

It seems those of us that struggle with our Fertility never get an easy ride even when we do catch a break and get pregnant and I keep thinking about how unfair it all is as everyone else always seems to get pregnant without any issues - I know this isn't true but I'm in a very irrational head space at present.

Sorry again for the moan and hoping everyone else is having a better day than me x

[DolphinJ]

Aw, sorry to hear this. It is so tough isn't it. Sending hugs xx

[HollieW in reply to DolphinJ]

It certainly is. Thank you for your kind words x

[ButtercupGarden]

Sorry you are having a rubbish time and don't worry about venting on here! It sounds really stressful. Could you take some time off work to give you some rest? Good luck with the scan today, keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything will be ok xxx

[HollieW in reply to ButtercupGarden]

I can't take any time off at the moment as I started a new job last month! I do have some leave booked in May and we do have a few bank holidays coming up so hoping to get a bit of rest. Just hoping the scan goes okay today as always anxious leading up to any scan x

[Savvy_teapot]

Hope everything goes well today 💞

[HollieW in reply to Savvy_teapot]

Thank you ❤️ x

[Hidden]

hi Hollie,

I hope things get better for you, sounds horrid at the moment.

I can relate to the continuation point. If it’s any help, I really had to push with the GP as I found that the lactulose (which I think is what they usually first give you) gave me horrendous gas but didn’t actually help unblock anything significant. It lead to more straining and more cramping. I eventually got some gel suppositories which cleared the blockage and then could loosen up the rest of the bowel. I too had nausea - largely I think because I got go blocked.

I don’t know if you have spoken to your GP or just the midwife? Might be worth a ring to the GP to see if they can offer any support? I know for me it made the world of difference.

I hope it goes well for you with the scan. X

[HollieW in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your support. I'm seeing GP on Tuesday so I'm going to press them about a few things. I desperately need anti sickness tablets as I'm struggling to function now and I'm eating less and less and coupled with the constipation I'm feeling pretty rotten. I'm hoping all is okay with the scan and can then look to address the other issues I'm having!

It always feels like such a fight to get the help you need sometimes. Whilst I love the NHS, it only seems you get what you need once in absolute crisis, when so many issues could have been avoided with earlier intervention or treatment. Anyway, I'm rambling on! X

[Hidden]

how did it go? Fingers crossed for you x

[HollieW in reply to Hidden]

Thankfully scan went well. Baby measuring at 9 weeks and the bleeding is an implantation bleed which has now resolved under the gestational sac. I am relieved but then you just worry about the next bit! X

[Hidden in reply to HollieW]

same thing happened to us at 9weeks. So pleased it went well. Try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy if you can. It goes so fast and it sounds like everything is looking good xx

[HollieW in reply to Hidden]

Thank you ❤️ it doesn't feel like it's going very fast at the moment but the first trimester is always the hardest, especially when I'm so sick! X

[Marisa32 in reply to HollieW]

As someone who had a surprise natural pregnancy after failed IVF, I know where your mind is. Try to think of the sickness as a good sign. Imagine how scary it would be should your symptoms disappear overnight. Good scan result at 9 weeks is awesome. 12 week tests will be here before you know it. Exciting times ahead!

[HollieW in reply to Marisa32]

Yes my mind has been all over the place and my husband admitted that he has been in denial about this pregnancy as it doesn't seem real after everything we have been through! Getting to 12 weeks is the next milestone and you are right about the sickness, I hate it but it also reassures me! X