How is everyone feeling?

[JenRoy]

Saw the shocking post on the fertility forum about a late 2nd trimester loss. So sad and shocked for their loss. It’s just so bloody unfair!

It’s ramped my anxiety up so much. Feels like we can never relax and enjoy things 😥.

I force myself to not get excited or get my hopes up, just in case.

Have been keeping busy and taking time to relax when needed.

I feel so lucky to have got to 21 weeks. Scans are fine. Baby is a little chunk 💕. And I feel him all the time kicking and wriggling. But the anxiety is there all the time.

Just wanted to voice things to ladies that understand. My family, friends & colleagues just don’t 🤷‍♀️.

[Millbanks]

Awww love, none of this is easy is it?!

I actually stopped looking at the forum during pregnancy because I also saw a few posts like that and I just had to tap out.

Take some time for you and be gentle with yourself

Xxx

[JenRoy in reply to Millbanks]

Kicking myself for going on it! I’ve stayed off the forum for a while 🤦‍♀️. Definitely will avoid for a while x

[Georgya]

Hi JenRoy! I feel the same! I am 21 weeks as well. First baby after many years of Ivf. So hard to enjoy pregnancy! I am worried everyday that I am going to lose the baby. I am trying to stay positive but I cannot shift the fear and anxiety. I am praying everyday and this helps sometimes. Take care and look after yourself and the baby! xxx

[JenRoy in reply to Georgya]

Good to know it’s not just me! But sorry you’re feeling like this too. Definitely taking care. You too xx

[Riri88]

Hi JenRoy,

Just want to say I am completely with you and you are definitely not the only one! Even been hoping little bean wakes up and gives some assuring kicks to make me feel better🙈 I am definitely doing better in terms of anxiety compared with the first 12 weeks (maybe more the first 18 even🤣) but almost 22 weeks and trying to enjoy every day as it comes, and trying to push away those horrible ‘what if’ thoughts when they pop up!

Hang in there and I hope you are staying cool! 🌞

[ClaireB24]

Completely feel the same Jen, it really rattled me. Such a sad story. I’m only 7 weeks and I have 12 weeks in my mind as a point where I can maybe relax a little bit. I’m trying to tell myself that the other group is probably not representative of the general pregnant population as people are more likely to post for support in bad times than in good, completely understandably. But we miss out on all the normal, happy pregnancy chat. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well! Post us some happy updates along the way if you feel up to it xxx

[Redsequin]

Omigosh, yes me too. After I read the lady's post I just felt so overwhelmed with anger and sadness for her, and then felt extreme anxiety when I didn't feel my daughter kick for a few hours when usually I wouldn't even notice! I'm trying to remind myself that later-stage loss is rare, but it's hard: my happiness feels so fragile sometimes! xxx

[HollyT7]

I was the same with our first baby, second time, dare say that I feel slightly normal. With all that we go through to get our babes the tough emotions are bound to be there, it's such as shame as when it does happen for us, we appreciate it so much, but still go through so much aniexty during the whole of pregnancy. Even after I'd given birth, I thought that I'd be so emotional and in tears, but I was just like oh, it's a baby, somewhat still in disbelief that I'd actually come out the other side and that this little human was mine and there would be no more ivf to do 🤷🏻‍♀️ I actually missed the routine injections as they had become so much a part of life 🤦🏻‍♀️

[KatRee84]

Yes, I read about that yesterday morning and I felt so sad - the grief must be horrendous. It’s so, so unfair. I’m also 21 weeks now and whilst a lot less anxious than I was in the first trimester, I feel very conscious that we’re never truly out of the woods- every time I pass a milestone- like recently the 20 week scan- I see stories of losses that happened later and start worrying again. I want to start buying things for our little boy and thinking of names, but I’m scared to. I’m 38 and it took 3 fresh cycles of ivf to get as far as that second line on a pregnancy test- I feel like this is my only chance and don’t know what I would do if it was taken away. These forums have been a great support all the way along. I don’t think I would have got through IVF without them as didn’t know anyone in ‘real life’ who was going through it. But as someone else said, because we all tend to turn to them most when we need support, it gives us a disproportionate sense that things go wrong often. I never would have heard of any losses past the 20 week scan if it weren’t for the internet, so I cling to the thought that the are very rare and we all have a very very high chance of welcoming our babies into the world

[Bozo_the_pumpkin]

I absolutely agree. It freaked me out a bit and I thought there was a response about someone’s sister having a still born even later (might be on another blog)… I am 37+4 now and have been enjoying the pregnancy much more from around 24 weeks. Now I have become anxious and just want baby to be born so that I can see her breath. 17 days to go.. … to see and hold baby and freak out about SIDS!

[JenRoy in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin]

There was a reply about a stillbirth. I guess they were trying to show solidarity but just makes you realise you can never truly relax. But the vast majority of pregnancies end well so that’s what I’m focusing on. Good luck for tue next few weeks. It’s an exciting wait! Xx

[Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to JenRoy]

It’s so so sad.. and it does bring the possibilities back to the forefront. But I hope that things will go well for all of us 🤞🏽 Thank you and good luck to you too xx

[Gempuddleduck]

I feel exactly the same and now can’t stop thinking about that poor woman and what she must be going through. Like you, it has also made me feel anxious. I’m 15 weeks and currently on holiday. Was feeling very relaxed but have just booked myself a scan for when we’re back to check everything’s ok. This is the first holiday we’ve had in 5 years where we are not getting over/in the middle of/preparing for an IVF cycle which is so lovely but the feeling of worry is always there. Wishing you lots of love and hope we all feel some calm today.

P.s I think the post has been taken down as I can no longer see it? Xx

[Star241]

So so sad I had a little blip this weekend hopefully a scan tomorrow will help calm me down xxx