Son soiling

[Glittershoes]

My son has struggled with bowel movement since potty training.. at pre school we had accidents daily with him saying he's too busy to go to the toilet. Wees no problem. Since starting reception this improved with no accidents at school however it is creeping back again and he had an accident on Friday. He was made to sit on a chair at the back of the class at school pick up and I was told I could come in a and change him.

I have reached out to doctors and other health services with no one offering support.

He holds his stools until its almost too late. He's been given laxatives to make the experience easier but I feel like we have gone massively backwards.

We have previously tried poo presents where he unwrapped a small toy car each time he pooed in the correct place, reward charts, consequences for pooing pants eg no I pad. And ignoring, telling off .. praising. I feel like as a family this is really affecting us.

To note he has a brother who's 14 months younger who has no issues what so ever with the whole toileting process.

Any ideas welcome !

[Beccaell]

Hi - so sorry to hear this. It sounds like such a stressful situation. Our daughter (now 6 yrs old) has suffered on and off with issues since reception she was diagnosed with constipation and it sounds similar - this can cause encopresis (soiling). This is something that is not behavioral and a telling off won’t make any difference as they have no control over their bowel. You may need to go through a disimpaction to get rid of the poo backlog

Have you spoken to the children’s bowel and bladder charity, ERIC? I recommend you call them. The number can be difficult to get through to but please persevere. We also found GPs to be of little help.

You should also speak with the school about this once you’ve spoken with ERIC. Shaming and punishing him by forcing him to sit at the back of the class is horrendous. They should be assisting you with this issue and helping him to clean himself up

Hope this helps it’s extremely stressful and can take time to fix the issue .

Becca

[Glittershoes in reply to Beccaell]

This is really helpful thank you. I did send the teacher a message last night expressing how I felt about Friday. And it's helpful to know we are not alone in this. I will give ERIC a call.X

[Beccaell in reply to Glittershoes]

No problem at all. ERIC website also have loads of helpful info including info on speaking with schools and how they can best assist. Might be worth reviewing this before you speak with the school. You are definitely not alone in this - hope you get it sorted out soon. X

[14crosstitch14]

Get back to toilet routune, wright 1 up for reception. Before and meals, break times for them. Or middle of the morning when you send him for 5/10 minuites. No ipad. Fruit snacks/nuts or prunes in his cereal. 1s you have your routine, sorted give teacher the same, this will help him remind him when teacher asks. Fig biscuits 2/3 will keep him from witholding. Nuts are ok, our schools not allow us to have them. Soreen/malt loaf is also really good too.