Hi, my 9yr old has multiple soiling and wetting accidents each day and is wet every night. He wears pull ups to bed but not during the day as we were advised against this by the nurse as it may make him rely on them. We take 4 sets of fresh clothes in to school daily, we can't go anywhere without a change bag full of clothes and it restricts his life with his friends. We have had lots of investigations and all the doctors can find physically is that his bladder is too small and irritable and his rectum his twice the size of an adults (possibly due to years of with-holding). Currently we are also investigating ASD as he has other strong indicators of that. My husband and I feel it's time to put him in day time pullups or pads as there has been absolutely no improvement over the years, if anything it has been getting steadily worse since he was 5 (he was successfully potty trained at 3 but regressed after that) and it is seriously affecting his self esteem, school work, friendships etc (although his class mates are so understanding and supportive!). Even if just for a few months to give him a break. So, 2 questions- 1) Has anybody experienced anything similar and have helpful advice? 2) Any recommendations for the best products for a 9 yr old? Especially any advice on comfortable products he can wear during sports? Thanks.
Advice for 9yr old son with daily soiling and wetting? - ERIC
Advice for 9yr old son with daily soiling and wetting?
Hi Daisy,
I don't have the same experience of day time accidents that you have, however my son is 11 and is in pull ups at night and will sometimes have daytime accidents. When he has had a tummy bug I have found it better for him keep his pull ups on during the day. We use drynites but a few years ago were using normal nappies/pull ups. DS2 still uses pampers nappy pants at night and he is 8! They are good because they are the same as the baby dry nappy but he can pull them up.
Thank you for your help
My son has the chronic soiling but not the wetting, he has a megarectum as well. He’s using trans anal irrigation to tackle the chronic constipation. He struggles with using it but there is no other option for him other than surgery. There is also a cone system and a mini system (my son uses the balloon system). My son wears incontinence pads or pants every day all day (he’s 11)
Thank you for this information. I think it alao highlights that i need to push for more medical help as we've been a bit dismissed by our hospital.
Definitely. My son is under a paediatric surgeon but it was a battle to get there. They are more knowledgeable than the gastroenterologists in my experience. You don’t have to stick with the local hospital, we are on our 4th hospital!! Tell me where you live if you like x in case I can recommend one
Good to know it's worth persevering! We're in Ayrshire, Scotland and everything has been a battle so far. It's tiring, and the longer it goes on without the proper help, the more it affects my son's self esteem as he blames himself.
I don’t know the hospitals in Scotland sadly. But maybe someone else on here can advise you. Tell him it’s not his fault!! And he’s not the only one. My son made friends with a boy at a continence workshop we went to. They play ps4 online together and chat about movicol, irrigation and the surgery his friend has now had. It’s a secret between the 2 of them. Meeting others in the same boat has helped my son loads. Also strangely getting him his own cat (who sleeps on his bed) has helped more than anything! I guess he’s like a therapy cat xx
I told my son about yours last night and it made him smile. I tell him every day it's not his fault but i think because no one else he knows has these issues he still thinks that. I'll look in to workshops in the area. Thank you for all your excellent advice.
May I ask which incontinence pads and pants your son wears please? Do they work well? And are they very noticeable? (My son is 8)
He wears a selection. He uses the Lidl ones when he’s at home or the soiling isn’t too heavy because they are cheapest (blue packet maxi incontinence pads).
For school he wears tena discreet night pads or recently he’s been wearing some Tesco discreet free spirit pants which are not discreet but are more secure as they are a bit like pull ups.
I find having a range of types of pads/ pants now gives him a bit more control and choice.
He showers 3/4 times a day which helps as well.
Thank goodness personal care is no longer a massive flashpoint as he’s taking a more active part in looking after himself now.
I would look at the tena range if you want the most discreet possible.
Thank you are the Tena ones men’s ones or ladies? I have used some men’s ones before which were quite good. Thank you so much for your help.
I’ve tried both, he’s using ladies ones at the moment, he doesn’t seem to care, they are in a purple packet so not too feminine looking. He likes them because they are more secure than the Lidl ones. He does sometimes do loads soiling as he can’t poo on the loo yet really- that is a long work in progress!
Hi Daisy, I’m so glad his school friends are understanding!! My daughter is similar, she’s 7, had issues since 6/52 old, product wise, check out TENA website, You’ll need a health professional to sign you up and then you’ll receive free deliveries to your door, I think they’re in Scotland too, I'm Nottingham, there’s some really useful information in your replies, I’ve been shouting for help since my daughter was about 3-4 months old and no one really cares they’re very dismissive and just say it’s common, it’s so frustrating, x
That's great advice thanks. It is so frustrating, but i'm so glad i posted on here- the replies have been so helpful, reassuring and supportive. And seem to have helped others too, i'm glad.
I can sympathise completely with your situation, I started trying to get my granddaughter out of pullups at the same age as your son is.
She was largely incontinent when I took custody of her early last year.
She also has a very small bladder and autistic tendencies, she was doing well at improving her bowel control after major dietary changes and her bladder capacity has also gotten better now she's better hydrated but she finds it difficult to hold.
Unfortunately I can't really advise on products, she was in drynites all the time but started leaking out them overnight, so I tried tesco junior nappies and they are ok for night time but she would rather wear them all the time, she is well aware drynites aren't supposed to be daytime pullups, and insists on the nappies day and night now I can't get asdas day and night pants that I had been using.
No I haven't but I think u put he in nappies 24/7 amazon.co.uk/Pampers-Baby-D...
I grew up in Troon but that's a bit random so I would say give him pull ups. My 9yr old won't use the toilet for some reason so wears pull ups and deals with changes himself (he doesn't care that the toilet would be far less hassle). It means he doesn't withhold and he uses the toilet at school but not at home! I've found that stress ruins any chance of him learning and progressing, better to go slowly than go crazy. Have you been in touch with occupational therapy? You can self refer though if Ayrshire has changed to the same system as here (Fife) then it's sort of one stop shop. Nothing much is happening right now (thanks covid!) so I would hesitate to get the pull ups out and start the process from scratch. I wasn't told to take the pull ups away though was hinted at but I value my last shreds of sanity too much. Good luck.
*would NOT hesitate to get the pull ups out
Please read my post about our journey and we are better
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