Long term toilet training methods & success stories?

[Littlebears]

My son is 4. We started toilet training around 2 and he picked it up so well I naively thought it was going to be easy… roll on 2 years and he still needs prompting to go to the toilet when he looks at us with ‘the face’. He’ll still say he doesn’t need to go though & often then he seems to have gotten so good at holding it in he may have stained his pants & have a dirty bum but 20 minutes of sitting on the toilet, stories, songs & blowing toys galore and still no poo.

He tends to have little wee accidents before going for a wee too but doesn’t fully wet himself.

He is on daily movicol and we disimpacted at the start. Most days we do get 1 good poo out so I don’t think he’s constipated but usually have a couple of accidents & 20 minute ‘tries’ leading up to the main event where I assume he’s just held it in so much after a bit has tried to come out that the need to go passes. Maybe?

I ask him if he can feel a poo is coming before it comes out and he says he can so I think it’s behavioural but how do I know for sure?

I feel like we’ve tried every incentive and tactic and will have better patches but we always then regress.

I think going to the toilet is just an inconvenience for him but no amount of incentives we’ve tried, making him get changed & covering or removing the toy he was playing with when he chose not to go (on advice from ERIC) seems to be solving the issue long term.

I would love to hear from anyone else who’s had similar and what finally worked.

Thanks for reading

[Beatrice81]

Hi, I can totally relate to your message and would really love to hear a success story too. My son is now 6 and still doesn't go to the toilet for his #2 without prompting. We were lucky to be referred to a consultant and know how to stay on top of his functional constipation but his witholding behaviour is totally ingrained. No amount of encouragement seems to break the habit and both the GP and consultant have said he will 'grow out of it'. After a 3-year struggle this is unhelpful and we seem to be on a dead end in terms of accessing professional help because he's 'not bad enough'.

Unfortunately I don't have the answer but I sympathise and wish you lots of strength x

[LB1234]

I know "the face" only too well, it's so frustrating!

Similar response to the above from me I'm afraid - same boat with my almost 4 year old but no proper advice.

After an extensive period of soiling last summer, we got poos largely under control from having regular toilet sits after meals. Now my daughter will pretty much always poo before she goes to bed (we can be there for a while reading/playing but it's part of the routine now and mainly works). The thing is that it doesn't take much to disrupt the routine and it will then take several days of her withholding/denying/dirty bums before we get back on to it again. Really not sure what the solution is, we have sits every night without fail but occasionally she doesn't go and we end up in a bit of a spiral.

We also have the dribbling in pants before going to wee - although over the last month or so she has been a lot better with this and has had several days at nursery without needing changed (still prompted but prior to this she was having multiple changes in a day). Not sure what has prompted it as we've not changed anything, although it's not consistent by any means and she can have a great couple of days then have multiple changes the next.

My daughter is on 1/4-1/2 movicol per day which seems to be enough for her - I am tempted to gradually take her off it to see if we can manage with just diet but not sure if that will make things worse so a bit in limbo.

Sorry...this has turned out to be a rant about my situation and zero help for you 🙈 hopefully someone will be along with something more useful!