I realize that most of the people here are currently dealing with issues but I am hoping that maybe some of the people who have had success are still around and might be able to share their stories?? What helped??
I’m feeling very stressed out and despondent at the moment. I’m aware that my stress does not help the situation at all so am trying my very best to hide this from my son.
My son is nearly five and has never been able to be completely toilet trained. He has had constipation and continues to wet himself regularly. I am concerned about him starting school which is putting even more pressure on the situation. I would love to hear some success stories and what has worked.
We have been referred to the local continence clinic but still waiting for an appointment.
We’ve also done disimpaction but that doesn’t seem to have improved his wetting accidents. He is doing at least 1 soft poo each day now (and no longer has skid marks in his undies) so I believe the disimpaction was successful...(we did get to the watery poo stage too).
He has a vibrating watch but chooses to ignore it sometimes. Even wearing the watch at preschool he will still have 1-2 accidents. I have it set to vibrate every 1.5 hours (he usually does not have accidents at home if he goes to the toilet every 1.5 hours). He gets upset when he wets himself.
Please share your success stories or any advice!
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Jellyfish0
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Hi - I just spotted that no one has replied to this! Don’t despair, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any success stories, just that people tend not to be on here once their issues are resolved! I’ve been on here for years and there are success stories, and also people like me/my daughter, for whom things are getting better even if not solved totally. And I’ve always been heartened by the fact most parents on here are talking about children under ten.
It’s a long road and I’m glad you’ve found this forum. Read as much as you can as information helps so much. Your continence team referral is a massive step and will help you get to the bottom of your son’s situation. Have a read about ‘overactive bladders’ as constipation can cause this by pressing on the bladder and it’s possible the continence team may want to talk about this.
The most important thing to know though is that school will be ok. My friend is a primary school teacher and she says she has never taught a reception class where there aren’t children still having accidents. In my daughter’s class (now year one) there are two other children that still soil and one other that has wetting problems too. Every child (and I mean every single one) had an accident in the first term - I know this because the teacher told me! And their class room had an en suite toilet. The children at that age are so kind to each other and used to being surrounded by wee and poo that it is unlikely he will have unkind things said to him. Give him the language to talk about it too - it is not ‘him’ it is a naughty bladder and naughty poo, not his fault. Work on making sure he drinks plenty of water (I’ve always found this is critical) and reward him for telling you/teacher when he’s had an accident and getting changed.
Before your appointment keep a diary of all wet accidents and poos. If you google ‘poo diary’ you should find one that will tell you how to monitor the poo type according to the Bristol poo chart. This information will be so helpful to the continence team when you see them and help you get the right help faster. Start looking at colour and girth of poos too. Sausage? Banana? Milk chocolate? Paler? Dark chocolate? Any smell? Even if he’s not soiling still, this will be the focus of the continence team at your first appointment.
Finally - have a look at some of the books to talk about doing poos (like meet the poos) - it willl help your son understand more about poo too and all helps build their confidence around the toilet.
Good luck - and have faith you will get there in the end. 🤞🤞
Thank you so much for replying Helen. The last 2 days he’s had some poo streaks in his undies again so I’m thinking I may have to do another disimpaction...
I read somewhere that the outcomes of treatment aren’t great (only 50% of children’s issues resolve within a year) so it’s gotten me really down.
I have been keeping daily records of his toileting and accidents.
I had an appointment with a GP today after his poo steaks and he told me to stop the osmolax and just give prune juice and beans. He dismissed my concerns and made me feel like I was overreacting. Not helpful at all! I really felt like crying after leaving his office.
I’m really hoping the continence clinic gives us an appointment soon.
I really appreciate your advice. I’m definitely going to do everything you suggested!
Oh bless you! It’s so hard isn’t it. It’s amazing how a few days of clean pants can put a spring in your step, and how it can bring you crashing back down when it starts up again. And added to that an unhelpful GP, no wonder you are feeling down! Prune juice and beans are wonderful stuff but sadly not the answer in the vast majority of cases on here and I’m afraid his advice is just a bit out of date. And you are not overreacting. Your son may still be preschool but it is so important that constipation is dealt with properly or it can cause all sorts of issues.
I’d suggest going back to see if you can get a laxative prescribed like Sennakot. (is there another GP you can ask to see?) Don’t be afraid to say you feel like your concerns have been dismissed! The osmolax is stool softener that makes it easier to pass, but after an episode of constipation/impaction, the bowel wall will most likely be stretched and a bit floppy (children’s bowels aren’t as rigid as an adults and so are more prone to being stretched out of shape). This means it is now harder for the bowel to do it’s job of moving the poo through. As a result lots of children get prescribed sennakot or something called sodium picosulphate to help ‘push’ the poo through. His soiling might not indicate an impaction but rather that the poo is getting to his lower bowel but not quite having enough oomph to get out! The GP might be reluctant to prescribe for an under 10 but it actually works the same way as prune juice (!). I’d also suggest you don’t give up the osmolax, it’s so important to make sure he doesn’t get constipated again and keeping those poos soft is critical.
One thing you could do to check there’s not an impaction is the ‘sweetcorn test’. Don’t let him eat sweetcorn for a week, let him eat it and then... a’hem... look for it! It should take 24-48 hours but anything longer suggests a slow transit time (which means the Senna will help) and if it isn’t with you in a week then it probably is impaction.
Have you found the ERIC website? There’s lots of good info on there too and they have a helpline which is wonderful for when you are in that gap between GP and continence team.
Hi, yes we have success stories! My son soiled his way through nursery and reception, we had so many different judgements from family and carers, and fairly ineffective advice from medical practitioners, but we have come such a long way and it no longer rules out life. And If I could change anything it would be to have worried less. Recognise this is a lengthy process, so you are not disappointed every day. GP sounds badly informed, hopefully your clinic referral will help for better medical advice, or as in previous reply use the ERIC website for advice. And talk to school. The kids are so little they will all have some sort of issue with something so hopefully you will have supportive staff. And also agree that kids this age are not aware of each other so you have time before any teasing issues. We were able to get some play therapy with a psychologist when my son was six. It came at about the right time when we had a better grip on the problem clearly being withholding which had caused backing up and extended bowel which needed a lengthy period of movicol. We thought it would never end, but it is, and it was possible to live with the problem. We had cleaning routines and just accepted it was part of life and slowly he has developed better choices. Keep going, and come back to this forum for support x
Thank you for your responses. I’ve definitely learned more from this website than any of the doctors we’ve seen so far. I got a call from the continence clinic this morning and our first appointment is 8th April... bit further away than I’d like but you have to take what you can get!
See if they can help you with the medical side (movicol etc and what may be happening to the bowel) and also the behaviour side. And they should be able to write a letter for school to take pressure off you x
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