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3.5 still toilet training for 18months


Just some advice if anyone can help. I've been trying to toilet train my little girl for just over 18 months now. When we started she was dry within 5 day and we had a good 10 days of no accidents. I was sooo smug!! Then she regressed and we've haven't had 2 dry days together since. Pooing has never been an issue. She recognises when she needs one and takes herself off to the loo everyday. But wees however are a whole other story. Sometimes she'll tell me she needs to go and will be fine but the majority of the time she will wee in her pants and be totally unbothered by it. She won't tell me she's wet. It's rarely a full wee mostly a small patch but enough to come thru onto her trousers. She is totally disinterested in reward charrts/stickers/bribery. We've tried books and the loo- I thought maybe it was because she never fully emptied??. She drinks up to a litre a day..... hv told me at least 1200ml but it was pouring right through her. She can have up to 4/5 accidents a day..... one on a very good day. I'm aware she's still really young but having been doing this for such a long time it's really starting to get to me. Feel like I'm failing hugely and it's so hard not to get angry with her which I then get the guilts massively. Any reassurance/advice would be greatly received!! Thank you x

6 Replies

My toddler was really helped by being naked - she seemed much more aware of whether she was having a wee when she was bare. We also tried keeping the potty near by and taking her to the loo whenever I went so that it got timetabled in. Good luck!


Thanks! Yeah She's dry if she's naked which is fine when we're at home but she's at nursery and preschool now so not many days were home to do that. She refuses to sit on a potty cos that's for babies!! Averaging 2-3 accidents a day at the mo 😩


You're not a failure! We've got a 5 year old averaging 3 accidents a day and she's not been dry yet in 2.5 years of trying! I used to think I was failing til she reached about 4 but now think something is defo wrong!


This is the exact reason Ive joined this page. Little girl will be four in march. Has an accident or a few most days at home or pre-sch. Usually just does a little bit and never tells anyone. Not bothered and not helped by rewards etc. I've only just read about drinking lots so going to try that this weekend and see how she gets on. She doesn't really drink a lot normally and I wasn't encouraging her as I thought it was adding to the accidents. Have you had any improvements since you posted or is it still the same? Hope it's improved for you both.


Hey! Always reassuring to know your not the only one battling the same problems!!! We’ve maybe improved a little bit but stil having an accident a day on average. The days she is dry is the days she’s not with me which made me feel horrid thinking i was the problem but I’ve come to realise that actually those are the days that she doesn’t drink very much (or not encouraged to drink...... preschool, nursery, family). At home I’m constantly pushing fluids and she drinks a min of a litre a day. You’ll probably c that the wetting will get worse when you up her fluids but it’s beneficial in the long run..... I’ve been tempted to stop pushing them but know we’ll jus end up covering up the problem rather than addressing it! My hv was seeking advice from a bladder specialist as I really feel my little one has an overactive bladder - it’s recently come to light that my husbands sister suffered with this as a little girl so whether it can be hereditary? I hope that upping her drinks works for you and things improve. It’s so stressful especially the nearer we get to school I’m so worried she’ll still be doing it- not that she’s bothered one bit!!

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So we upped drinks and have really been egging her on about her making the right choice and choosing to go to the toilet or potty herself at the right time. Had a week of what felt like amazing progress. Put herself on the potty lots of times and rewarded with choccy raisins (just occasional accidents). Then this morning she has both pooped in her knickers and had a massive wet accident! One step forward two steps back, very frustrating. I'm trying to be grateful that I know she can do it now as I was starting to wonder but it seems her strong mindedness and also not giving a monkey is going to be our battle to over come. Hope the Health visitor is helpful for you.


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