Preparing for starting school in nappies

[SarahB26]

My just 4yr old is starting reception in September. He’s still in nappies and on 20 ml a day of piccosulphate at the moment for sever constipation. If he misses his meds for even a day he stops pooing and the pain and discomfort start again. The meds though make him unpredictable and he still has no control over when he poos and it tends to be loose. He doesn’t tell us when he needs a wee or a poo and doesn’t always know he’s done it or notices. So it looks as if he will be starting school in nappies. The preschool he is in now is attached to the school and they refuse to change him and will call me to change him. We don’t really want this when he starts reception so need to get some alternative things in place. We see his specialist on Monday and I know I need to ask them for support as well as something I can give to the school as evidence. What should I be asking for though and are there any specific questions I should be asking or anything imoprtabt to discuss? Just looking for extra ideas as hubby is away so I’ve got to go to the appointment with my son on my own - thank you

[Evala]

Hiya, my big started school in pullups a few years ago. We are not alone! Get a letter explaining the problem from your doctor/specialist, then ask to speak to the reception teacher /teaching assistants, to get their confirmation that they will clean him up. It gets more difficult when they are older, but at age 4 they should be supporting him. You need to find out if they will, or if you have a challenge on your hands. It is not reasonable to ask you to go in, can't believe the preschool is doing that, but every school and even every class teacher is different in their understanding of this issue. Start the conversations as soon as you can and hope they reassure you.

[SarahB26 in reply to Evala]

Thank you, it’s always good to know your not alone. The preschool is part of the school and it’s some of the same teachers/teaching assistants across both. So my worry is that as they refused in the preschool, they will be funny about it in reception. But the Norfolk county council website specifically says they can’t leave a child and wait for you to come in to deal with it. But then it goes on to talk about disabilities and more so it gets a bit complicated. I’ve found out today though that there is a little boy currently in reception with contenency issues and he is in nappies still. One of the support staff is assigned to deal with his ‘personal care’ so this gives me some hope that if they are doing it for one child they need to do it for another. But we shall see I guess. I’m waiting till we’ve seen the specialist before booking an appointment to see the head as well haven’t been told who his teacher will be yet and worn find out till middle of next month.

But thank you for you help x

[Evala in reply to SarahB26]

Good luck. Don't be fobbed off. And yes involve the head and any specialist support staff at school. My son is much better (just turned six) but still has issues and it has taken until this year for the school to acknowledge it as an ongoing problem not just delayed training. Talk as much as you can now to set their expectations and put your mind at ease.

[MrsSquirrel]

Call the local authority and ask what their policy is for all schools. This will arm you when you meet school. Arrange to meet head and teacher. Ask for an Individual Healthcare Plan - common for continence issues. This is an agreement on how they will deal with your child. You should not be asked to go in!! They have a legal requirement to make arrangements to deal with health issues under equality law - lots of kids have continence problems and they should have an idea of how to deal with it within school day. I say all this with 4 years of experience where I was fobbed off - not any more!! xxx

[lks1402]

My son is 8 and he has a severe phobia about poo and won’t use the toilet leading to severe blocked bowls piccosulphate cause explosions. When you see the consultant you could discuss alternatives to allow him to gain independence ready for school. I send my son to school with a total changing kit wipes gloves etc this helped the school and if it happens he now has to clean himself. My biggest breakthrough was getting the school nurse involved she did a school visit determined what support he needed in school and then she made sure all issues and needs went into health plan. Also he uses a tens machine daily supplies by his consultant this does help to stimulate the feelings of needing to go and therefor less of a build up and softer more manageable poo. Don’t be embarrassed or scared about discussing openly own it. It is ok after 6 years of beating myself up over my still not clean and dry child your reaction is crucial talk to the school. They will hopefully understand and work with you.

[Robinia in reply to lks1402]

Hi, I’m really interested in how your son uses the tens machine. I have one and I have wondered before about my son using it. He has lost all bowel control and is in nappies (age 9.5) if possible could you explain how he uses it please and how he gets on with it?

[Wagamama]

Heya, have you tried reducing his meds dose?

[lynne1976]

Late to the party, but it's against the law for them to discriminate against a child's right to education based on an incontinence issue. I hope you got compliance from them.