Just started school

[Mandy7]

My almost 6 year old son has had chronic constipation for almost 4 years now. We did a big disimpaction the week before he started his first year of school. We had x-rays done and were very confident he’d been completely emptied. He also has been seeing a psychologist. He goes Monday, Tuesday, Has Wednesday off then goes Thursday, Friday. For the first couple of weeks, he wouldn’t have a single accident at school but on the days he’d be home, he’d have 5+ accidents. And again on the weekend he’d have accidents constantly. I understand he’s more comfortable at therefore relaxes and has more accidents but what I don’t understand is how he manages to hold it at school but not at home? He has said he hates going to the toilet and just doesn’t want to. I don’t know how to get him to, not “enjoy”, but at least “want” to go. We’ve tried all sorts of treats and rewards and prizes, charts and even punishment (taking away Xbox and what not) NOTHING HELPS AT ALL!!! I’m at a loss and really just don’t know what else to do! I just feel so defeated.

[JamesParkin]

Hi Mandy, your son is very similar to how I was at his age, usually avoiding having accidents at school, despite never using the toilets there, but having plenty of accidents at home. You may find this post in my Childhood Soiling blog useful:

childhoodsoiling.blogspot.c...

[Mandy7 in reply to JamesParkin]

I did read your blog. The only difference is he does go to the toilet but doesn’t sit long enough to do a poo. I suspect it’s because he has to take a buddy and he doesn’t want his buddy to be waiting and such. He does go to the toilet multiple times though and does ask to go but I think it’s just for wee.

[Robinia]

Is he in a regular sitting routine with a stool every day of the week? That would be morning, after school and evening if you can’t get him to sit on the loo at school. For the evening one, after dinner and a bath is good. It’s important he isn’t constipated in any way because this can increase the holding behaviour. Also be really conscious of how much he is drinking at school, get school to help you to ensure he’s drinking enough. My daughter wasn’t and now she has her water bottle with her all the time instead of on the tray (as she was forgetting to drink and they are always busy). Look at the movicol dose he is on and it might need to go up a bit to decrease the holding. I think it’s really about trying to establish a rhythm to his bowel. Sadly with my son we are now beyond managing his bowel with medication (age 10) but if I had known then what I know now......... 😬 good luck!

[Mandy7 in reply to Robinia]

He’s sort of in a rhythm. I try to make sure he does a poo every morning before school. I give him a stimulant at night sometimes if he hasn’t managed to do one that night so he pretty much guaranteed a poo in the morning before school. And in the afternoon he will sometimes have already done it in his jocks by the time I pick him up. He does a poo after dinner. Sits on there for a good 5 mins and does a decent size. Then 10 mins after he’s off, he does a poo in his pj’s. That’s happened 3 nights in a row this week.

[Robinia in reply to Mandy7]

Argh!! Sounds like you’re well on top of it. Hmmm that’s a tricky one. Do you think he’s constipated and needs another clear out?

[Mandy7 in reply to Robinia]

Well I don’t think so as there really hasn’t been much of a change in since his last one. Other than he now has the odd accident at school too. He does do a good amount of poo everyday too