Holding in poos, screaming in pain

[Salot]

I’m in desperate need of help/advice/support.. anything!

My daughter has just turned 3, we have been struggling with her holding in poos now since January. It started with a stomach bug which led to constipation, which led to her with holding poos. She would scream and scream in pain, had 2 lots of antibiotics as docs thought it could be an infection.

Doctors have put her on lactoluse, which we give her every other day to keep stools soft. We had a few good months and got potty trained For wees, but she was still really sensitive about pooing.

But then this last month things have gone rapidly down hill again, she screams so much when the poo is in her back passage, and is holding it in. She seems to be in so much pain but the doctors keep sending me away saying it’s ‘normal’

So my question is- is this normal!?????!!! Is there anyone else going through this, I’m at my wits end, her diet is terrible, she is so fussy and won’t eat hardly anything, she barely eats or drinks when we have a bad day, it’s so emotionally exhausting and frustrating!

Help!

[Cellis1983]

Hi, I can’t help a lot I’m afraid but wanted to tell you our story in case it helps...

My son used to hold in his poos and scream in pain when they came. He then kept trying to keep poo in which has led to all sorts of problems with constipation.

If I was you I would try and see a different doctor so that you don’t end up in our situation. It sounds like she needs something to help her pass her poos/soften them so she doesn’t develop an even bigger fear.

When my son is really backed up, he hardly eats either. I managed to get him drinking a lot by letting him choose what he had his drink in... he chose a baby’s bottle!! I know I probably shouldn’t let him use that as he’s 3 but it keeps him very hydrated.

Hope some of this helps x

[Salot in reply to Cellis1983]

Thank you for replying, did your son grow out of it? I’ve seen several doctors but no one really has a solution, but yes I agree she does need something to help her get poo out- problem then will be getting medication into her !!! As I’m sure you know 3 year olds can be extremely stubborn! She too still likes a bottle, no judgement from me - whatever works!!

[Cellis1983 in reply to Salot]

He hasn’t yet, he’s 3 and been like this for over a year. But he’s on regular movicol now which softens his poo. I wish I’d taken action earlier which it seems like you’re doing! If I could go back to when he first started doing the painful poos, I think I’d ask a doctor to give him some movicol to soften it so that he doesn’t develop a fear. But when my son was at this point I didn’t realise the painful poop would lead to him making himself impacted. The ERIC helpline people are really helpful too.

I know exactly what you mean by 3 year olds being stubborn... and that’s putting it nicely lol! I mix the medication in to his bottles and he doesn’t notice. X

[Salot in reply to Cellis1983]

Thank you it’s nice to know it’s not just us but I’m sorry your son is still suffering though! it took me several visits to doctors before we got given lactoluse, by then she had already started with holding.. but I’m going to go back and ask about movicol.

I’m going to try the help line, thank you again x

[jilkei]

If she is screaming in pain she might have a rectal fissure - these are excruciating and very hard to heal if she is continually constipated. Has the doctor checked for these? The laculose will help but another thing to check for is a gluten intolerance- if you can't process it it can actually create a constipation situation as it turns to rocks in a lazy bowel (which she can get from holding it in I think... )

[Salot in reply to jilkei]

Thank you, I’ll look into possibles of gluten intolerance!

[Barbiecar]

Hi Salot,

I am gradually coming out the other side of a similar situation with my daughter but it is a long journey which requires the patience of a saint. She is now 5!and it started before she was 3. The ONLY thing that helped me deal with it was reading a book called “The ins and outs of poop” by Thomas R Duhamel. I can’t recommend it enough. I feel empowered when talking to doctors and paediatricians and have a programme to slowly cure my daughter. It is not surprising that she withholds if she had such painful bowel movements in the past. According to my friend who is a paediatric consultant, you need to aim for porridge like poo for 3 months using laxatives (we use Movicol) just to help overcome the fear of the pain. Combined with a stimulant laxative (we use Pico Sulphate) you CAN overcome the fear and withholding. But I implore you to read the book. And stay on top of it, don’t give up, and If you can, fight the poo, not your daughter (hard when you’re tired, fed up and have a screaming child!).

[Salot in reply to Barbiecar]

Thank you I’ll look into the book immediately! Sorry to hear you have suffered so long, hope her journey keeps improving. I really appreciate you replying xx