New here, starting school in September, only poos in pants

Hi, my daughter used to be quite similar at this age prior to starting school.

Advice I can give, lower the laxative dose as doctor suggests, maybe try half a sachet less (assuming laxido is like movicol and in a sachet you mix with water?)

Regular toilet sittings, sit on toilet after breakfast and after dinner for 10 mins if you can, you have to try to make time to incorporate this into daily routine as it's key and stick to it. Read with him, colour, make it fun, make your toilet interesting how ever you can. Reward for sitting even if nothing comes out. A lot of the time nothing will come out but it's still encouraging sitting and routine.

I had to be very strict with my daughter about going in the garden as she would often poo her knickers in the garden, she wasn't allowed in the garden until she had sat for 5 mins on the toilet and try no poo.

With regards to school, write an email to school about the situation and he very honest, tell them the GP appointments you have had and prescription you have been given, once you medicalise it it I find is taken more sympatheticly as you are showing that you are trying to help. Our school have been excellent over the years. It's not totally uncommon it seems.

Age and maturity really helped us and hopefully will you too x

Hi, we are in exactly the same situation, I could have written your post. The thought of school terrifies me for his sake. I can't offer any solutions as I am going through it too, but here if you need a chat or a vent.

Our next app with ped isn't until the end of July. I am waiting only the school nurse calling me back to try and set up a "care plan" for school but I have no idea what that involves yet. I don't want someone changing him though as he can do that himself and I worry that he will become reliant on it. Just really needing a teacher to send him to the toilet to "try" after breaks as you can bet he isn't going to stop playing to go and try.

We are trying a diff approach re movicol and really upping the dose to try and "clear him out". This in theory should help the bowel which is over stretched return to "normal size" then hoping to reduce the dose and for things to improve. I will let you know how that goes. End of the day we know encropesis isn't their fault but it's hard to stay calm when he gets it sometimes and not others. We have started yet again another star chart where he has specified the rewards. He did great last week with only a few accidents so i am trying to keep going with it.

Keep in touch and good luck!

Hi, totally feel your worry!!! my son has just turned 4 and has constipation all his life, he is due to start school in September too and like your son is completely dry but just wont poo! I don't know weather to send him in pull up come September ?

When my older daughter joined primary school she soiled herself and they made me come in to change her and left her in the toilets alone until I got there! thankfully it only happened once but I'm worried the same things will happen regulary to my son!

He has movicol but is now working out that its in his juice and saying its yucky! the last time he was impacted once the blockage came out he has a massive explosion, what if this happens at school!

its soo hard!!!

I feel if I went in every time he pooed id always be there. I'm worried he will get bullied. A girl at my primary school always had poo accidents and we called her a not very nice name and it stuck. Trying the routine sit on. Yesterday he sat on the potty about 20 minutes after each meal for 10minutes but didn't poo, then when out pooed three times. We are going on holiday today so worry it will impact on him. We went camping and he held it all in for 4 days. I worry about things like if he goes to a friends house and has an accident. My dh had similar problems till he was 7!! Even know he doesn't know why he used to poo his pants. He said he remembers having a sleep over at his friend's and he pooed in his pants and didn't care and wasn't embarrassed when the mum cleaned him up. And even now he doesn't feel embarrassed about it. Thanks for all your replies

For anyone who is asked to go in and clean their children I do believe that this is not supposed to happen. I can't remember but it's something to do with the disability act. Children should not be left in soiled clothes and parents cannot be expected to keep going in. I think some schools do not have good policy about it whereas some are excellent. I think that's why it's important to write it all down to school ahead of children starting and asking how they can help you...go from there and get school nurse on board too if you can.

My daughter used to have movicol in milkshake. I made the movicol powder with the water and then added it to milk and added sugar free milkshake mix, masks the taste well.

My daughter is now 7 and had soiling accidents at school until she was 6. No other child has ever said anything unkind, I don't think they really notice things like that, especially in reception so try not to worry about bullying etc.

Good luck and keep up the hard work x

Hi my son now 8 was exactly the same so I feel your anxiety. The advice you've been given so far is great about the toilet sitting, it will take time for the idea and process to get set in stone so keep going even if you think it's not working. I'm afraid that maturity level plays a real part in this and it will take a long time for the body to adjust.

It does sound that he may be full and needs clearing out first and this is something you might need to discuss with the gp because laxido (movical) will soften as you know but without clearing out first it's a losing battle to stop the soiling/withholding. I'm afraid to say that many GPs don't really understand constipation in children and how softeners should be administered so it might be worth asking to see them again to check if he is full and if a clear out is needed.

The intimate care plan should be in place for his start of school and you will have to say what your expectations of the amount of cleaning/assistance should be. You shouldn't be expected to go into school but some schools are reluctant. If you do find resistance you can always quote the disability discriminations act as incontinence is covered but let's hope it doesn't come to that. Best wishes and keep in touch here

I can totally relate to this post, I didn't know what to do with myself as I was so frustrated with my daughter for having so many poo accidents. I can easily say this site saved me and made me realise I am not the only person going through this. My daughter is 5 and we have been on a rollercoaster surrounding her withholding her poo for so long and then having to clear her out and then work at getting the dosage correct so that she doesn't have so many accidents. My own feeling is that it's not done on purpose, I used to get so cross with her but I actually think due to the years of withholding she is stretched inside and therefore the sensation of needing to go, had just got very weak and so the accidents are purely that she can't feel it coming out. She still withholds now but we are in a much better place than we were a year ago thanks to people on here keeping me sane! Me getting cross wasn't helping one bit 😔

I completely agree with getting a routine in place, we have managed to establish an evening poo just before she gets in the bath. It's become completely normal now and she doesn't need the encouragement as much as she used to.

As far as school is concerned, I was terrified about other children making fun but I can honestly say that has never happend, kids at their age simply don't notice and even if they do, I don't think they care. We have been very lucky that her class teacher has been very supportive and was happy to support anything that I wanted her to.

It's a long and pretty stressful road however it does get easier, speak to the school and see how they deal with situations like yours. Tell them your concerns now before the end of term so you are all on board for September. Try to get a routine in place of regular toilet trips even just sitting there. Half a sachet of Movicol in a drink after school is what works for us. Good luck and remember you aren't alone xx

Hi, I deeply sympathise and totally understand what your going through. We are still having difficulty and our son is now nearly 8. All I can say is I wish I had reached out for help sooner. If you don't feel your doctor is being helpful ask to see another a push for support and referrals to those who can help you both. Speak to school nursing team too and make sure you are comfaortable with the facilities at school and how they plan to handle accidents if/when they occur. I totally recommend the books on the ERIC For trying to understand what is going on. This is a massively misunderstood issue and people always just talk about wetting. I hope you can find people to share the worries with totally would not have been able to cope without friends to talk it through with. You are not alone and it is not anything you have done, keep asking for help and I am sure you will both find a way through this. Take care.

Dear Marmiteandcrackers (Lovely 'Name', by the way),

A few 'thoughts' strike me, as I read your post. Firstly- Yes your child could be constipated, even if you think that there isn't a Problem, definitely worth checking. Secondly- Maybe your child is wary/afraid of the Toilet. Let me explain this- a Boy can wet, and mess, in a nappy standing up- equally he can pee, into a toilet, standing up.....However, to poo, he must Sit Down on a toilet- therein may lie the reason. The simple fact is that boys can be Apprehensive, sometimes even plain Scared, of sitting on a toilet. A very good friend, from some years ago, solved this by simply going into the Toilet, with the child, and sitting him on it- even when he DIDN'T need to 'go'. By just doing this, in a very Matter Of fact way, the child lost his fear. The next thing was a "I've done a 'poo', can you Wipe Me please Mummy?" Yes there were still accidents, the child was three- what can you expect- but, from there, Progress was made. Perhaps the Sitting him, on the toilet, might be worth a try?

Whatever you decide, good luck and Enjoy the Marmite, and Crackers.

AndrewT