Four Year Old Twins refusing to toilet train

[fatles]

Hello - my twins are four next month and refuse point blank to sit on the toilet or even to wear pants. They scream and scream if nappies are taken away. I was wondering if there are any other twin parents on this forum who can offer advice? They have no developmental delays but were three months premature and are identical girls with an older sister. They attend nursery full time - the nursery room leaders are also perplexed by the situation.

We are trying the tactic of sitting 10 seconds on the toilet before the bath which is gaining a little traction but any other advice, much appreciated!

Thank you

[Emsta1]

Hey, I only have 1 four year old, but I feel your pain! I have been trying to toilet train for over 2 years but my daughter has always been terrified of going anywhere near the potty or toilet. She screamed and fought, and refused to sit on it, it's been crazy. Then just before Easter, her teacher told her that there were to be no more nappies after the holidays as she was the only one left in class (half day nursery at school) who wasn't trained. So she started very reluctantly wearing pants, but would hold it in all day until she had a nappy for bed. Then we went through a period of accidents, then progressed to her being able to have a wee, but standing up. She still insisted on a nappy for a poo. I asked the GP if there was anything physical that could be stopping her from going normally (she was premature too, but only 1 month), and the GP thought not but referred us to paediatrics at the hospital. At end of July, she was diagnosed with chronic constipation, that had been the problem all along. That was why she was so scared of the loo, due to the pain of pooping, and why she could wee in a standing position but not sitting. She did poo regularly, so it hadn't occurred to us she might be constipated, and wasn't picked up by earlier visits to the GP or health visitor. Anyway, she's on laxatives, poos are much softer, and yesterday she sat on the loo successfully for the first time. It was such a relief to have a diagnosis, and to be finally making progress. So, my advice would be to speak to your GP and try and get a referral to an expert, as there may be an underlying problem causing the issues. Good luck x

[fatles in reply to Emsta1]

Hi thanks for this - it is helpful, I think perhaps this could possibly the case for one of the twins so I may well check it out.

[Evala]

Are they starting school of do you have another year at nursery? Probably best to back off completely, then maybe after a break see if you can come up with an incentive for small steps in the right direction, but let them think they are in control and deciding. Don't agonize about their age, if still a year at nursery fingers crossed they will suddenly surprise you when you least expect it. Another idea may be to reward big sister in front of them when she uses the toilet but leave it up to them to decide to join in. Fingers crossed for you x

[fatles in reply to Evala]

Thank you - yes we will get there. Their sister makes them go to the loo with her - she is desperate for them to be out of nappies as well!

[Evala]

Are they starting school of do you have another year at nursery? Probably best to back off completely, then maybe after a break see if you can come up with an incentive for small steps in the right direction, but let them think they are in control and deciding. Don't agonize about their age, if still a year at nursery fingers crossed they will suddenly surprise you when you least expect it. Another idea may be to reward big sister in front of them when she uses the toilet but leave it up to them to decide to join in. Fingers crossed for you x

[Dancer_Boyd]

Having a bag of washable toys/books to play and relax with whilst sat on the toilet may help distract.

[Misty10]

Hi definitely go to your health visitor even a dr .my lg is 4 now was like this from 2mths she has chronic constipation and overstretched bowel. She now under a peadritian team which are amazing and gives me support on the phone.

[fatles in reply to Misty10]

Thanks - the health visitor has been and does'nt think anything is wrong but i am keeping a close eye ! very helpful and def food for thought.