advice on getting my 3.5yr old boy to start toilet training

[Pitty456]

hi everyone

So my 3.5yr old boy just won't use potty or toilet he says he's scared. He won't even wear pull ups.

Sometimes he will put his boxers on and try use the toilet or does a wild wee in the garden. If I take the nappy away he has a complete melt down and dont want to rush him or scare him. I have tried reward charts and stickers.

Any advice as he starts pre school in September

[MrsDickas]

My little boy was the same. He’s still a bit of a nightmare tbh but we have made progress. We set a date to say ‘goodbye’ to nappies and did a countdown on the calendar. We also told him he could scooter and run faster and jump higher without his nappy. This worked for us. Just wish we could get him to use the loo when we are out! Good luck. He will get there. Xx

[RBsMama]

Try the frog urinal on amazon ( have to snip the ends of twisser to pointed and get stong duble sided tape though 🙄) was well worth the effort and cost. When they wee the twisser turns. Also i found the travel urinal tub was great.

Bladder and bowel uk said changing the mental association to potty training.... so special box of toilet toys, even tv or ipad on the toilet. My son has a very healthy diet (because of his bowels) and if he has a poo on potty I even give him a chocolate button save it as special reward, stickers for wees Just to get him to associate it with something nice! I use songs and videos on YouTube..... even his fav paw patrol teddys go for wees and then I pretend they are talking to him “ Ruben s turn”. We sing songs to his ‘widgy’ and bum “bum bum bum bum is there any poo poo bum bum bum push the poo poo out 123 push....same with wee.

He responded well to going to the toilet with other males. My bro even weed in the frog urinal we was so desperate 🙄. Has he chose his own potty? Took him to choose his own big boy underpants? Pull ups and nappies..... i say noo silly billy they are only for bed time!

I even considered buying one of them dolls that wees and poos and has a potty! Dress his favourite teddies or superhero toys with undies??? 🤷🏼‍♀️Tv on potty and the frog has worked AT THE MOMENT! Changing the way he thinks or it rather than pushing him to go on potty. Xx

[Pitty456 in reply to RBsMama]

I have recently purchased the frog he has to be in the mood to use it. Like last night after thr bath he was excited to use it only done a dribble but it was something lol. He won't wear pull ups associates them as boxers or pants lol. Same as shorts he says there boxers. I find if I make a game of it he will do it and wear boxers. I even wore his dads boxers to make it a game lol. He's a twin and his sister was sooooo easy she was dry day and night from day one. Everyone keeps saying to me ge should be wearing big boy pants by now. So I'm stressing.

[RBsMama in reply to Pitty456]

Forget what others say! I say do thinj I don’t know that? well if you have any suggestions im all ears or even better come try yourself... soon shuts them up!

My son is 3 and half and to make it even harder poo makes skin on his bum literally burn and has a tight foreskin so his willy goes like a balloon.

Well that dribble is fantastic! I video call everyone and we all cheer and dance around room Ruben is a big boy etc. My son doesn’t like leaving his toys 🙄 im now trying ‘frog needs your special wee wee juice he’s thirsty” once i get his pants down he is ok.

The time timer clocks?? Figure how long he is holding his wee for (so not trying to get him to go when he doesn’t need it) then like when hear beep beep its wee wee time.

Have you tried a couple of days no nappy no pants naked on the bottom half? This might sound silly but does he want the same knickers as his sister? Will he have a turn after his sister? Maybe cheering for both of them? Will he go if she asks him.

Its a nightmare hun but its just perseverance. Whats he like if there any any nappys left.... when option isn’t there?

Have you spoke to your health visitor? Xx

[Pitty456 in reply to RBsMama]

I have spoke to health visitor but they arent concerned at all just said he will do it when he's ready. I'm doing it in his own time and not pushing it maybe I should

[MrsDickas in reply to Pitty456]

Argh I hate when people say that about kids being dry/wearing pants etc. It’s just so unhelpful. He will progress and crack it. My son has anxiety around using the toilet so we are going at his pace. It’s very stressful but ultimately getting upset and stressed I’ve found to be a waste of energy. Us mama’s need to give ourselves a break. We are doing a great job! X

[Pitty456 in reply to MrsDickas]

My boy is the same he has no confidence bless him so its such a big step for him

[RBsMama]

You do what you think is best! EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT 🥰This is attempted number 3 with my son. I try for about 2 weeks.... then leave it 2 months. Its different circumstances with my son. He has contact dermatitis on his bottom skin... so poo literally makes his skin like carpet burn which bleed and he ends up on antibiotics because gets infected....then holds his poo in because it hurts the skin so much. Only solution to this agony pain is potty training so even health visitor agrees i have to continue. I even paid privately for a child psychologist!

In your shoes, I think i would make sure all things are in place.... play songs videos once a day, at supermarkets look at underpants etc, cheer and praise his sister as an example to hin. The potty training books, reward stuff out. Keep potty and frog visual in room. Have underpants next to the nappys. Like keep the window open.... “big boy undies or nappy today son?” Then hopefully he warms to the idea and chooses to make the step himself. 😀

I don’t think it needs to be all or nothing.... you can then feel you are encouraging it (settle those thoughts in your mind are you doing enough etc and questions from others😬🤬 so like ohh I encourage it everyday but pressuring him makes him resist it more) he really wouldn’t feel pressured and will be his own choice.

The travel urinal tube with lid was first thing he liked for a couple of months hun.... would wee in that and have a pull up. That’s because i could take it to him without him leaving toys or going to potty (his wee stings his bum sores).

Iv gone from Ruben not caring when he wees in his pants to now getting upset.... “never mind son doesn’t matter ... lets find nice clean undies” then its him focusing on if he likes paw patrol or toy story and a 5 minute decision.

Do what your gut and heart is saying! 🤗 what ever way i will still reply when your son makes the step himself if you need any ideas suggestions or someone to vent to 😀