Help still needed. 7 year old toilet avoider.

[Sp87]

Hi guys.

I posted 2 years ago and help is still needed.

My son is 7 in a few weeks and has still never done a poo on the toilet. He will only poo in his pants.

When at school he will hold his poo until he is home.

He regularly gets constipated, but I do not feel this is the reason for this behaviour as he has never done one on the toilet at all. I think the constipation is more of a result of his behaviours. He currently has 2xmovicol every single day.

I have tried everything. Toilet time, bubbles, reward charts etc etc. He's seen the area inclusion leader, the GP, school nurses and even a pedeatric continence advisor and noone can offer me any ideas.

His continence advisor believes it is behavioral, and has recently spoken to consultants who believe the same, so as they are medical they can't offer me any advice.

He does not have a diagnosis but I have been to GP on regards to other behaviours he displays and he was refereed to cahms for possible adhd or sad, but camhs have told me they won't see him as he's too much of a "mixed profile" so I am completely at a loss.

Does anyone have any ideas or can offer support on what they have done to help their child? I will try just about anything for him!

[StellaA]

That's interesting that he dosent mess at school.

Does he mess himself on purpose?

My grandaugter is 10 and has never really been out of nappies/pullups, she only started to have some bowel control last year after some major dietary changes, but it was only at school that she was motivated to use the toilet and keep her pullups clean-ish.

She got down to having 1 or 2 dirty pullups a week at school but was still wetting frequently and not wiping herself.

This was still far better than at home where she just refuses all the time.

There must be some social pressure on them to be clean at school or around other kids, unfortunately she has regressed recently due to the virus.

[Sp87 in reply to StellaA]

Hello, thanks for your reply.

He doesn't use the toilet at school, he will just hold the poo in until he gets home (which then results in more constipation) he told me he won't poo in his pants at school because he doesn't want to embarrass his friends (not himself!)

I don't think it's on purpose because he will usually either not notice or not tell us.

He's constantly on the go, and only seems to go when he is truly relaxed at home.

[StellaA in reply to Sp87]

Does your son ever sit down on the loo to wee?

Or will he only do it standing up, Sophie was a bit of a nightmare in that regard, for a boy it's not the end of the world but trying to make her sit on the toilet seat was a challenge, then when she got up she would either wee all over the floor or as soon as she pulled up her drynite, she was just used to doing it standing up.

Does your son do the same when he messes himself?

ie he will only poo standing

Have you considered giving him pullups to poo in so his bowels can get into a rythem of emptying?

[Sp87 in reply to StellaA]

He is completely dry, so will stand or sit to wee. He will sometimes leave the room to poo, or other times he will just do it in front of others.

He will usually do it sat down, but can do it stood up (no idea how!)

We did try going back to pull ups when he was little, but that made him back track with the wees. He wouldn't wear pull ups now as he is older he's aware that they are 'different' and refuses. He hates talking about it, but equally can't seem to stop the habit of doing it.

[Sp87 in reply to StellaA]

Also.. I'm sorry to hear your granddaughter is regressing due to the virus situation. It is certainly affecting children in more ways that we think 😔

[JoannaGuk]

My daughter is 6 next week. I honestly could not see any light at the end of the tunnel. She spent reception in pull ups for poo, She had never poo’d in a Toilet (wee fine and completely dry) and was petrified/ determined never to do it. We tried everything to! Charts, rewards, consultant care, hypnotherapy, reflexology etc. School were a great support to us and my daughter not putting any pressure on and supported with pull up use etc. In May 19 my daughter started to completely withhold and we don’t know why. It was horrendous and the levels of laxatives required were honestly unreal. No one could believe it. We then did the following... but I honestly think she also just decided it was time....

Let her decorate a toilet in the house with stickers and magnets to make it a happy place (walls and radiator in downstairs toilet)

Gave her an iPad and asked her sit fully clothed on the loo playing a game (slowly she started to sit with just a pull up) for 30 mins at a time (in the morning after breakfast and evening after dinner) we went back asking her to blow bubbles and practise pushing too.

She Eventually started to poo in the pull up on the toilet, which was huge for us. As she didn’t want to go near it before (always stood to poo) In early July 19 she told us she wants to do a poo straight in the toilet and not wear pull ups and instead give them to babies who need them. Something seemed to click in her head. She did it and has not looked back. I honestly never thought I’d see the day. She had a toy in the loft for 18 months that we said we’d give her once she poo’d in the loo. So that came out and lots of other praise and rewards. She’s even started using a toilet for poo in restaurants other people’s houses and on holiday etc.

She remains on 1 movical sachets a day. At times of stress / change she withholds here and there (when we moved house etc) and we have to up her movical. So it hasn’t gone away, But she still uses the toilet for poo when she does go (she will hold at school and do it home, but think that’s quite normal for a lot of kids).

The book “what to do when your child won’t poo” helped.

Good luck, you will get there.

[Sp87 in reply to JoannaGuk]

Thank you for your reply. I have tried lots of the things you've mentioned over the years (5 years of underwear poohs 😖) but he is so reluctant to do anything. He shows interest in new ideas for a week at the most and then reverts back. Really at a loss with what to do with him.

[Mum03]

Have you tried picosulfate ( dulcolax liquid) my daughter tends to hold her poo in her rectum, picosulfate makes the Bowel contract which gives her tummy ache so she has the urge to poo. Movicol never worked with her. She has a high dose of this every evening (27ml) and now she’s home from school she has been going every day.

[Sp87 in reply to Mum03]

Hi, thanks for your reply. I believe he has had that medicine previously. The Movicol does seem to work for him. But his constipation is not really the big issue, it's the toilet avoiding. He only holds his poo when at school he happily and regularly goes in his underwear at home.