Daughters bladder problems

[Lily32008]

Hi, my almost 7 year old daughter is still having regular weeing accidents (almost daily). I feel like I’m at a loss as to what to do. I have been to the docs on quite a few occasions. She was referred to have a scan on her bladder which appeared to be functioning properly. I have tried making sure she goes at regular intervals. This isn’t always easy as she often fights me and says she doesn’t need it. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but feel I can’t just let it go either!. She sometimes tells me she doesn’t feel that she has the accident, and that she doesn’t always know it’s going to happen. I can’t work out if she is just saying this as sometimes she will tell me she needs to go.. very hard to know how to tackle this next. I’ve also tried a vibrating watch to go off at certain times. Worked quite well initially but now the “novelty “ has worn off. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

[Hidden]

Hi your daughter sounds just like my little boy- he's almost 6 and does just the same! Some days he's dry all day, asks to go to the toilet and holds it until he gets there and other days he has lots of accidents and doesn't seem to notice that he's sat in a puddle! It's so frustrating, wish I had the answer ! The only thing I can say is that he was much much better over the school holidays, I tried to be really relaxed about it and just explained to him that he is in charge if his own body and he can go whenever he needs to, but that he must get changed if he is wet for hygiene reasons. Tried not to react if he was wet but just send him to change and put his clothes in the washer! Seemed to work well after a few weeks he was definately better. I find that the more I try and remind him, insist he goes etc the more he pushes back and refuses to go. Think he's inherited my stubborn independent streak! 😆

It's slow progress but seems to be helping for us x

[Lily32008 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your kind words of support. I also found that trying to improve my daughters bladder issues over the summer hols really did get better. But since she has started back in school she has reverted back to having accidents most days.. fortunately it appears that she has a teacher who really wants to help with this so fingers crossed we can work it out eventually. I have been told by my doctor that if she is still having accidents at the age of seven then they will refer her to a bladder clinic for further investigation. I just hope she doesn’t get picked on by anyone at school for being wet. Hence I went and purchased some ‘girl’ pants with a sewn in pad which may help prevent wet clothes and embarrassment. So nice to hear other people’s stories. Makes you feel less alone. So thank you 😉

[GiraffeFamily]

This sounds very similar to what we've been through with my now 10 year old son. We've had the same experiences from age 5 or so through now...with ups and downs. Sometimes he'll go a month with no pee accidents, and sometimes it's daily. He too has said many times he can't tell when he "leaks" and he will never change his clothes unless we point the visible wetness out to him and tell him to change. No detectable physical problems with his bladder, according to doctors. We've tried constipation clear outs (he poops daily but perhaps not enough comes out...he's not severely constipated but may be a little bit, or it varies over time)...vibrating watches (same results as yours), motivational reward charts, etc. etc. etc. I totally sympathize - it is so frustrating and upsetting and confusing!!!

I do feel that as he has gotten older and (slightly) more mature, I find it easier to believe that he is not just being lazy or getting distracted and forgetting to use the toilet...I have come to my own conclusions, which are: 1) probably he has some constipation at times which may put pressure on his bladder, which in turn may spasm and "leak" intermittently and unpredictably; 2) he truly doesn't feel the "leaking" happening; and 3) he claims not to be aware when he's wet...and I think that he's experiencing denial as a strong psychological response to the embarrassment and shame that he feels deep down inside because of this problem. I've put aside all anger towards him and we are treating it as a physical (rather than behavioral) problem. I do believe he desperately wants this problem to go away even though he won't usually say as much and tries to brush it off when he is wet.

We started him on Oxybutynin this summer, and for about 2 weeks in August he was unbelievably and wonderfully dry EVERY DAY! It was glorious! But then school started up...and he's been wet almost every day since. So I do think the Oxybutynin was helping, but maybe not enough to offset something about the school routine that causes accidents. (He does use the bathroom at school...Not sure what it is about the school year that is problematic...although during the summer before the Oxybutynin there were plenty of accidents too.) We'll stay on the Oxybutynin for now.

A bright side to all of this was that he was able to be nighttime dry a bit over a year ago! We'd never even tried to have him stop wearing pull-ups at night because since age 5 the doctors have always said "Let's focus first on the daytime wetting and not worry about nighttime wetting because it's so common anyway." He was SOAKING at pull-up every night. When he was 9 I finally got so tired of all the laundering of wet sheets that we went ahead and tried a bedwetting alarm even though he was still having daytime accidents...and it worked! It probably took a month or two, but he is now consistently dry at night and doesn't wear pull-ups anymore to bed. He may have an accident once every couple weeks or less often...I can live with that.

So, in sum...I understand your situation and that of so many others on this very helpful website! No answers...just solidarity.

[Lily32008 in reply to GiraffeFamily]

Thank you!! I really do appreciate hearing your views and what you have done for your child. All sounds very familiar, if I come across any miracle cures I’ll be sure to fill you in. Many thanks once Again xx

[MrsSquirrel in reply to Lily32008]

I don't know if this age 7 thing is a red herring - I would check the ERIC continence pathway. I wish we had pushed for intervention earlier. No reason she couldn't see continence nurse team to try things (we have been with them 2 years and now onto urology team)

[MrsSquirrel in reply to MrsSquirrel]

most continence services seem to take children from age 4 upwards, so go back and badger GP - keep a diary and explain how disruptive this is to her. If it affects her school work etc. x