My daughter is now 7 years old and has had recurrent UTIs since she was 2. Grade 2 reflux was discovered over a year ago and deflux has solved that problem. We had a bad year last year with almost monthly UTI’s and she missed a lot of school. Extensive investigations have been done and the conclusion is that there is nothing else wrong physically and so we should be following all the advice that she should never be constipated, drink 1.5l of water and toilet regularly. All of these things are so difficult to manage in a busy life. We have bought her a watch with an alarm and are doing what we can but she continues to get UTIs. Less frequently and with less symptoms but still occurring.
The problem is dealing with her. She claims she doesn’t feel wetness, she doesn’t always change her underwear when it is a little wet. She doesn’t always drink when we are giving her water, she says it makes her tummy hurt. If she soils, she is hiding the evidence and not wiping properly. She won’t sit properly on the toilet. It’s a full time job to manage her. Her teachers try to help but of course if another teacher is involved they don’t always let her go to the toilet is she needs to and she is easily put off.
After all these years we are all exasperated. She can’t have the life I want her to going to sleepovers or play dates, as I can’t expect anyone else to manage her the way she needs to be and she won’t do it herself so inevitably becomes ill which leads to more medical appointments and me being told off by doctors who have no idea how hard this is to manage. She is not always with me.
I think sometimes she is afraid to tell us in case she gets in trouble and sometimes it is hard to be patient when you ask if she needs the toilet and she says no or goes but does nothing as a protest and then five minutes later has an accident. Sometimes she is too busy to go. She gives so many reasons.
At this stage would some kind of therapy be helpful? I’m worried that maybe all the attention this had brought her from time off school and even perversely time in hospital has become an accepted pattern to her. We can’t get through.
I’m exhausted with the constant washing, all the extra clothes I have to carry, and that life goes in cycles of so many medical appointments and medicines at a time.
Does anyone have any advice?