ERIC
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Bladder Bowel Dysfunction

My daughter is now 7 years old and has had recurrent UTIs since she was 2. Grade 2 reflux was discovered over a year ago and deflux has solved that problem. We had a bad year last year with almost monthly UTI’s and she missed a lot of school. Extensive investigations have been done and the conclusion is that there is nothing else wrong physically and so we should be following all the advice that she should never be constipated, drink 1.5l of water and toilet regularly. All of these things are so difficult to manage in a busy life. We have bought her a watch with an alarm and are doing what we can but she continues to get UTIs. Less frequently and with less symptoms but still occurring.

The problem is dealing with her. She claims she doesn’t feel wetness, she doesn’t always change her underwear when it is a little wet. She doesn’t always drink when we are giving her water, she says it makes her tummy hurt. If she soils, she is hiding the evidence and not wiping properly. She won’t sit properly on the toilet. It’s a full time job to manage her. Her teachers try to help but of course if another teacher is involved they don’t always let her go to the toilet is she needs to and she is easily put off.

After all these years we are all exasperated. She can’t have the life I want her to going to sleepovers or play dates, as I can’t expect anyone else to manage her the way she needs to be and she won’t do it herself so inevitably becomes ill which leads to more medical appointments and me being told off by doctors who have no idea how hard this is to manage. She is not always with me.

I think sometimes she is afraid to tell us in case she gets in trouble and sometimes it is hard to be patient when you ask if she needs the toilet and she says no or goes but does nothing as a protest and then five minutes later has an accident. Sometimes she is too busy to go. She gives so many reasons.

At this stage would some kind of therapy be helpful? I’m worried that maybe all the attention this had brought her from time off school and even perversely time in hospital has become an accepted pattern to her. We can’t get through.

I’m exhausted with the constant washing, all the extra clothes I have to carry, and that life goes in cycles of so many medical appointments and medicines at a time.

Does anyone have any advice?

5 Replies
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Morning. My daughter is nearly nine and has had this since she was three. She has identical issues to your daughter, though not quite so extreme , so you have my every sympathy. It is so frustrating and worrying. I do think it's also a maturity issue as she is so non proactive in helping herself that it drives me mad, although I recognise tha this is all part of the problem and mostly she can't help it. I find the worst thing is when she wont tell us when she has had an accident and then gets a uti. So I'm afraid I have no advice only buckets of empathy. If anything helps I'll let you know!! Take care x

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hello my daughter has same relux but also suffers with contipation where shes leaving marks in her nickers. she has also being diagnosed with overactive bladder as she dosent empty her bladder and shes had test done. i have now got to up her meds to help her poo. she dose leak. and suffers with stress continance her concultant said. what meds is your daughter taking? have they looked into her bladder and seeing if it is a problem with emptying? is your daughter under a concultant for her reflux?

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She had deflux inserted for her reflux. We are from the UK and consultants there told us they would not have done this for grade 2 reflux but she had it done in Austria and it has solved her reflux problem apparently. She isn’t on any meds as her UK consultant says there is no need. He is even saying when she gets a UTI she doesn’t always need antibiotics so now I don’t know whether to seek medical help when she gets one or not. This consultant thinks her body might resolve the problem itself but it seems a big risk to take.

Your poor daughter and you, sounds like you have bigger challenges than me!

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Hello my daughters concultant thinks it’s to do with genetic as I have it but got diagnosed very late where I then got renal scaring from it. So hard . She has a overactive bladder and needs a wee very quickly now she’s constipated and soiling slightly in her knickers as there is marks and big blobs there. Where are you from Hun xx

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Have you found anything that helps? Will your daughter wear panty liners? Mine just freaks out at the idea. And I’m not sure wearing one through the whole school day is a good idea either.

Has it restricted your daughter from doing things or going places? For example tonight I am having my daughter’s friend to sleepover although she was first invited to her house simply because I can monitor her here better. It’s even more work for me and she misses out.

Can they help it do you think? I swing from being annoyed to sympathetic.

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