Bedwetting Daughters accidents

[KatieDenis]

Hi All. New here and Hoping someone can offer some advice.

I have two daughters. One is 8 the other, Emily who is 9yo. Has ongoing bed wetting issues. Never had a dry night yet. Urologists discovered that Emily was born with a bladder defect, too small and undeveloped. So some medical delay issues at play. On top of being a very heavy sleeper. A train could pass through the house and not wake her.

Can be prone to daytime accidents. Which is upsetting enough to me as her parent. But not to mention very humiliating to her. There are times where she is put into a nappy during the day. If going to stay with family, car trips or school events where she just can't get to the bathroom early enough and an accident is likely. Saving the embarrassment otherwise. But still allow her to wear panties around the house normally.

We found Goodnights/pull ups to be very problematic. Constantly leaking through every night. Even limiting liquids with no success. So made the decision to switch and put her back in the normal tape on nappy before bed. She was hesitant at first, but eventually come around and agreed without protest.

Which has been working out wonders. No more laundry and Emily is waking up well-rested and happier. Lifting both our spirits

Now we have another problem. On multiple occasions. Emm has come to tell me she has had an accident. At first thing in the morning, nothing new I thought. But to my horror realized she has had a bowel movement in her nappy. Was little shocked. This has not happened for years, well since toilet training days. At least.

First time she complained of a having a queasy tummy. Which is fair enough. No problem or mess. But since then her argument is that the plastic tabs are too sticky and can’t get the nappy off in time.

I do put the nappy on for her. As I noticed she does struggle placing the tapes. Told her to just pull the tapes hard or slide it off like underwear. Or come ask me to go to the toilet and I will take her. She doesn't mind being in nappies, considering the incontinence. But does feel it’s unfair she has to ask to go to the toilet when her sister doesn't.

Not sure if it’s intentional and she’s just waking up then choosing to go in her diaper out of laziness or if there is a more serious underlying problem.

If it was only a once off accident. Then I wouldn’t be bothered. But unfortunately filling her pants without telling me has become regular now. I’m at my wits end, Should I be mad? Should I just let it be? Have doctors appointment again next week. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of it….

Regards, Katie

[Hidden]

Honestly, I can't explain the occurrence of bowel movement, but i definitely can say it's not laziness. I have the same problem as your daughter, and still wear nappies from age 13 to 16, and so forth. Overtime I did have gradually increased bowel movements in my nappies, and it was definitely frustrating and embarrassing, so I can see where your daughter's excuses are coming from.

[KatieDenis in reply to Hidden]

Hm. Do you have any idea as to why the bms increased?

[Hidden in reply to KatieDenis]

I think body got used to wetting in the nappy, that maybe it just started getting used to emptying all of my urine and bowels eventually. Obviously, this is just a guess.

[ParentwithsoilingDD]

Hi Katie

Talking from experience with my 2 girls there could be a very simple explaination why she is using her nappy for BMs. Could it be that in her mind the fact that she has to wear a nappy in bed due to bladder incontinence so her brain associated the need for her to poo with just letting go as she is nappied.

Is she having trouble going poo on the toilet ? IE painful to pass? My daughter who is 12 gets constipated and when it hurts to do it on the toilet does it in her pants. - better out than in.

Also we found taped nappies difficult and not reliable neither were pull-ups type I got my daughters some terry towelling panties from one of the online incontenence stores and these were worn with plastic pants over so visits to the toilet were as normal IE undies pulled down but when accidents happened they were contained an no one knew

[KatieDenis in reply to ParentwithsoilingDD]

She hasn't complained about having pain to me. But I have found she has not being going poo on the toilet. Only doing it in her diaper lately. If she can come to tell me shes done a poo. Then I'm not sure why she can't tell me when she needs to go. So maybe I will check for constipation. Totally agree better out then in.

[Kate_monster]

Hi Katie. Sorry to hear your daughter is having this problem. I’m sure it’s not a conscious decision to do it on purpose and she may feel sad or embarrassed even if she doesn’t let on.

I don’t know if you already follow a bladder/bowel routine but sitting on the toilet for 5 mins to try for a poo about 20 mins after meals might help retrain her back to the toilet along side addressing constipation in case it’s a problem.

We have also tried different kinds of pants to find what works for our daughter. I can recommend the iD comfort junior pull ups age 8-14. They are much more reliable than bed time pull ups and more discreet. We have also used normal pants with dry like me inserts but unfortunately the volume of my daughters accidents is too much. They are great for enabling kids to change themselves though. It might be important for your daughter to have a solution which she can deal with herself.

I hope things improve for you soon.

[KatieDenis]

I think she is embarrassed and not wanting to talk about it. Usually saying things like “I don’t know” when it does happen. We have been making sure she follows a routine. Sitting on the toilet in the evening before the night nappy goes on. With a little success. We also experience unpredictable spurts of incontinence and heavy wettings. So know what you mean with having high volume of accidents.

Currently we are in the process of moving houses at the moment and had her in nappies for the day. Which has been a relief from the accidents. But wondering if the extra stress/disruption could be adding to this.

Will try to find the iD comfort junior like you recommended. Unfortunately when we were using the pull-ups before she wasn’t changing them often enough and does need to be reminded.

[KatieDenis]

Well we are back from the doctors. They seem to think the issue could be caused by a wave of constipation. He has prescribed a powdered laxative to mix into drinks. Recommended to use juice. But there is a lot to for her to drink at once. So see if it helps. At least. I don’t know. Diet has not changed and we always eat plenty of fruit/Veg and high fiber foods. (Because of an IBS diagnosis).

Have ordered the pull on style pants with a liner. Will give them a try. Hopefully less bulk. She is reasonably tall for her age. I don’t want her back in nappies during the day. We are visiting family over Christmas which inevitably they will be seeing her in them because they are quiet bulky. Despite Emily preferring them to pullups, So only hope to have this sorted out soon.