Only ones in this situation?: My daughter is 12 and... - ERIC


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Only ones in this situation?


My daughter is 12 and will be 13 next month. She has soiling issues and always has had since she was potty trained. We have been though many specialists and doctors over the years and we now think we may (in the near future) be able to turn the corner with her constipation. It has been a struggle as part of the problem is behaviour related. Every time that she doesn’t make it though I do think this…. Is my daughter literally the only 10+ year old with regular soiling problems?? I feel embarrassed for her whenever it happens in a public. It is painful to watch :(

16 Replies

Hello Mumofarose,

You are not alone, but as a mother of a twelve year old who until 6 months ago was experiencing major issues with soiling and associated urinary tract infections, I can unequivocally let you know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! The over ten year old age group is not huge in this forum but we are here and we share with you the problems experienced in older children.

We "turned the corner" six months ago following a disimpaction and if you would like to know more about our daily regime, just reply and I am happy to share details if it helps.

In the meantime sending you are your daughter strength and solidarity, you are not alone!

The Laundrymaid xx (NZ)

Thank you <3 xx


I posted a few months ago about the 12 year old (now 13) living with me. Your daughter is not alone I can promise you. I think it’s so hard for older young people. My boy felt so much better after he was told how many people have these issues and that it can be managed and can get better. Once we made it safe for him to talk about he started to open up and engage in the process of trying medication etc... he hasn’t soiled for 6 weeks and says he feels free. Please let her know she is not alone and it can get better xx

Hi there our daughter is nearly nine so not as old as yours but has been having this issue for six years. Also has had a lot of UTIs. Just thought I'd tell you a few things we've been trying since Christmas in case they help. We did a disimpaction which I hadn't done for a long time and wish we'd done it earlier. The GP gave her nystan in case she had thrush from all the antibiotics. The antibiotics hadn't cured the infection but after the nystan it had gone after six months of antibiotics. She also now wears a thin sanitary towel which she manages to change herself if she has an accident. This usually means that she doesn't have to change knickers, tights etc. You may have done all this but just also to say you are not alone and many best wishes to you both. X Ps the doctor also said no soaps and smelliest in the bath/shower and gave her antiseptic oilatum to use.

Hello mumofarose and others,

This is all really interesting and relieving to read. My daughter is 11 and soils everyday. We use panty liners but she still gets in quite a mess.

We have tried disimpaction and movicol in the past but it didn’t help and I found the dosages all very vague.

Any encouragement for my daughter to try this again?? She will be starting secondary school in September and I and desperate to get help.

Do you all go through doctors or bowel specialists or bowed nurses??? We have been with them all in the past.

It is great to have other mums in similar situations.

Onwards and upwards x

Nicky555 in reply to M-bass

Our first disimpaction was done through doctor and didn’t work. It was the continence nurse who talked it through properly and let us know we needed to get to “brown water” before slowly reducing movicol. We then used suppositories and movicol and stayed in regular contact with nurse to get advice on reducing. I would say speak to continence specialists for dosage advice and do disimpaction in holidays.

M-bass in reply to Nicky555

Thank you, great advice, I think I need to have another go during Easter holidays x x

ruthsmum27 in reply to M-bass

Have you tried Pull ups? Might be better than panty Liners :)

M-bass in reply to ruthsmum27

Hi yes we have in past and it made her feel like a baby so better with panty liners. They don’t leak that often thank goodness x x

ruthsmum27 in reply to M-bass

Aww bless her, At what age did she start feeling like a baby wearing them? My younger DD is ok with them at the moment but I worry about how she will feel in future. Xx

Well to answer your question... I don't know about other peoples experiences? But my DD hated wearing them to the point of no return at age 9. I hope that helps. x

Tfleisch in reply to M-bass

Hi we used panty liners but found thin sanitary towel with wings worked best. Always ultra but supermarkets also have their own brand versions.

Hi it is tricky to get the dosage right and we do still have accidents, just easier to cleanup. We have been using 5ml spoon of senokot in the evening with three sachets of movicol divided in two doses per day. The senokot gives her the sensation of needing to go. Definitely try the disimpaction again. We have been to a consultant a few years ago and the pooh nurses clinic. We are waiting for another appointment after afresh referral because of the UTIs but the doubt if there is much more they can do. Take care x

M-bass in reply to SallyandPaul

Yes definitely going to try disimpaction again. Senility sounds good to give her the feeling of going again, thank you x x

My 10 year old daughter has soiling issues and has had since potty training so you're not alone. I know it feels like that sometimes as it's hard to live with on a daily basis. Part of hers is behavioural and we've been having play therapy (4 year fight to get it on nhs!) Which has helped a bit but the view is that she'll get it in the end as it'll start to bother her. We're 7 years in............ our continence nurse is amazing and suggested anal irrigation which we do everyday along with movicol. We've gone from 5-6 accidents a day to 1 small one. My worry is that we can't do this forever but the nurse who's seen it all is confident she'll get it. Use this forum to vent or for a virtual hug on bad days. It's so hard but you're doing your best and that's all that matters x

WOW!! Sorry I've not been back, I didn't think this forum would go anywhere. Thank you all so much for your kind words and solidarity :) I can't believe we are really not the only ones. Keep them coming let's keep this forum going and support one another :) xx

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