Hi 👋 : Hi I’ve just joined from looking on the ERIC... - ERIC

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Hi 👋


I’ve just joined from looking on the ERIC website. I’m despairing over my 3 year old- he will be 4 in 2 weeks. I’ve been unsuccessful potty training him for the past 16 months... he has at least 1 wet and or poo accident every day. He sometimes goes independently but most of the time I prompt him to go. He has lots of accidents at preschool as well but I feel if he can’t ask me to go to the toilet how can he ask them as he is quite shy.

I need to go to the dr I think? I don’t know where to turn, I’m reluctant to go to my gp as I’ve got issues with the surgery and the way my daughter has been referred for a nut allergy. He won’t be at school until September but I’m sure something is not completely right and fed up of mother in law telling me he is lazy!

Any advice would be appreciated and I’m so pleased t o have found this forum! I don’t feel so alone finally

Thanks for listening!

4 Replies


My daughter is 5, if that makes you feel any better?!! She has several wet accidents a day. She poos on the toilet 95% of the time although if loose will have accidents with that, but that's rare.

We started potty training her two and a half years ago and haven't got very far!

We've seen many GPS, paediatrician three times, continence nurse three times, health visitor, practice nurse, school nurse, out of hours, etc etc and haven't got any help yet!!

The advice we've had has been good but not worked for her. Make them drink plenty: 6-8 drinks per day ( so bladder can stretch and hold larger amounts), only drink water or milk, make sure they're not constipated as that could cause wetting too if bowel is squashing bladder cos of blockage, constipation could also cause loose poo which seaps around a blockage.

My daughter drinks well, isn't constipated, only drinks water, not even milk!, and we've followed all advice and got nowhere. So we think she has overactive bladder.

There are input/output charts on Eric site. You could do these. We have. It's to record how often they wee ( and measure the amount). Our daughters charts showed up to 20 small wees a day! Which makes us think it's overactive bladder and she holds only small amounts. It might give you evidence to show doctors.

Oh, they also say try double voiding, where they have a second wee after they've weed to make sure they empty.

And to try sitting on toilet 20 mins after a meal and blow bubbles as it could encourage pooing.

We've tried all of the above! Which makes me think our daughter may need medication. We will see!

Good luck.

I know it's hard when people say they're 'lazy'. My father in law once said she'd never be allowed in school, which was rubbish!!! And not helpful! We've had people say it's a behaviour problem but it isn't when she's going up to 20 times a day! And she doesn't want other people to know. So she's not attention seeking!!!

I know 4 seems old. I watched each year go by: 3,4 and now 5! The only positive is that now she's 5 I've stopped blaming my potty training skills. My daughter is bright for her age and I'm sure if age could solve this she would!

Good luck. You're not alone.


'She' not 'age'


Your instincts are correct - something is not right. He is not doing this out of choice. Unfortunately, you will need to go through a GP to get a referral to paediatric urology +/- a bowel specialist. But keep pushing to get your son the help he needs. Maybe change GPs?

Please see my other posts for further info on our story (my son is 6).


Hi, I have been in the same position as you - my boy was 4 in August. Definitely see your GP and get a referral to a good paediatrician. It turns out my little boy has a wheat intolerance, but it took 2 paediatricians to get to that diagnosis and several GP appointments. There also may be a local

children’s bowel and bladder unit you can get a referral to. My little boy started school in September and we only got our diagnosis in August, so trust your instincts and get it sorted out as soon as you can. It isn’t normal but pre-schools brush it under the table as they are used to dealing with kids ‘potty training’ and they move on once they go to school. Good luck.


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