First time posting on here. As you will be able to tell from the title I'm concerned as my 7 year old son has had a couple of wetting accidents in class. This hasn't been an issue before but it's now happened twice in the last 6 weeks. He's told us that he knew he needed to go but hasn't asked the teacher. We've spoken to the teacher and she has assured him that she would let him go if he asked. I'm not sure if there's anything else to worry about or if this is a case of him waiting to long and thus ending up wetting his pants. He's told me that he's never asked to go in class before but was always able to hold on until the end of class. I know I used to nervous about asking to go to the toilet in class and some teachers didn't always say yes but I think that must of changed now.
I remember wetting my pants at school when I was 9 so I know it's an horrific thing to happen to a child. It happened to me because the teacher wouldn't let me go rather than because I didn't ask. I've told my son about this so that he knows it's not just him.
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Jackk123
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Perhaps he is just nervous about asking the teacher if he can go to the toilet during lesson time as he has never done it before. I remember being aged 7 and being nervous the first time I had to ask my Year 3 teacher if I could go to the toilet, which was several weeks into the new school year. Previously I'd always hung on, and I only asked on this occasion as I was starting to get desperate and I knew that I might wet my pants if I didn't go.
Having done voluntary work in primary schools for several years, I've had many children ask me for permission to go to the toilet and I've always said yes, and never felt any less of any child for needing to wee or poo during lesson time. Your average primary school teacher will probably get asked hundreds of times over the course of a school year.
As well as reassuring him that everyone wees and there is nothing embarrassing about needing to go during lesson time, perhaps you could do a little role play with him where you arrange the furniture so it looks a bit like a classroom, then have him practice asking you or another adult if he can go to the toilet. Hopefully once he has found the courage to ask the first time, he will find it a lot easier in the future, like I did.
From my own experience of school I know that kids ask all the time and I know that teachers don't always say yes. I know for me I only used to ask if I was really desperate otherwise I would just hold on but there were kids who would ask literally every single lesson. I remember that some teachers would even ask 'are you desperate?' When I think about it now I just think it's horrible that a teacher could say no.
As I mentioned before it happened to me when I was school so I know its probably the worst thing that could happen to a kid at school after that I was bullied for quite a while and was terrified that it would happen again even when I went into high school. As it's now happened to him twice I'm scared that he could be bullied as I was and don't want him to go through that.
I totally agree, I think everyone has the right to go to toilet when they need to, and teachers shouldn't refuse permission unless it is clear that an individual is abusing that right. Like you, I didn't go during lesson time unless I was desperate but, after that first time, I wasn't afraid to ask to go when I needed to.
I agree that it is devastating for any child to wet their pants in the classroom, whether it is their fault or not, but bullying a younger child for this reason seems less common than an older one. When I was 6, a girl in my class left a puddle on stage after Nativity rehearsal. The teacher asked her in front of the whole class if she had wet herself. The girl initially denied it, but then the teacher put her hand up the girl's skirt and felt her pants while everyone watched, before declaring that she was wet and calling her a filthy creature. This was obviously humiliating for the poor girl, but I don't remember anyone ever teasing or bullying her over the incident.
Hopefully you can persuade your son that asking to go to the toilet will be far less embarrassing for him than having any more accidents. If he is bullied at all, then the best thing is often to ignore their taunts. Bullies quickly get fed up if they don't get the reaction they are looking for.
Ask your child if he would be more comfortable using a hand signal to ask to go potty. Then get the teacher's buy-in and have the teacher chose a hand signal. Often kids aren't comfortable asking out loud because it draws attention to them and they don't want their peers attention for something like this (or sometimes for anything). If your child is still not comfortable (or if a teacher ever refuses to let your child use the potty), have the pediatrician write a letter to the school about bladder issues and allowing open access to the bathroom. Then come up with ways to implement this. Could be a special pass that your student flashes the teacher on the way to the potty. Could be the teacher sends him to the potty at preset times. Could be your child wearing a watch with preset timer and when it vibrates he uses the potty (work w/ the teacher/school schedule to set the times).
Never really got the idea of preset times. Obviously in an ideal world they'd all be able to use the toilet at break and lunchtime (which obviously is preset) and then not ask during class. From my own experience I know that I didn't always need to go to the toilet at break or lunch so wouldn't try to go just for the sake of it.
When we met his teacher we were assured that he would be allowed to go if he asked and the she never refuses requests from any of the kids when they ask to go to the toilet so I'm not sure if him having a toilet pass would make a difference.
Unfortunately wetting accidents at school do sometimes happen, especially in primary school. Hopefully it won’t happen again. I know it can be embarrassing asking for the toilet. Is there any way of using the toilets before school and at break and lunch time and avoid drinking during the lessons reducing the need for the toilet?
I've read on a few forums that forcing children to go at set times isn't a good idea. I remember from my own experience that you don't always need to go at break or lunch and teachers used to ask that question if you ever asked to go in class. Ultimately if you've got to go you've got to go.
Fortunately the issue here is him not asking rather than not being allowed to go. I remember when I was at primary school that wetting your pants was a very real fear as teachers didn't always let you go. It wasn't just not being allowed to go either, the toilets weren't very nice and I can tell why some kids would avoid using them particularly when there are others around. I count myself lucky that it only happened to me once as I had a few close calls where I only just held on and I was by far from the only kid it happened to.
I always remember my brother came in from school, looking rather embarrassed, the teacher refused to let him go to the toilet and he tried to hide his wet patch all at the tender age of 11. Worst of all it could have been avoided if the teacher used their common sense
That sounds really bad. I remember that teachers didn't always say yes when you asked to go. That was more than 20 years ago so I'd hope that would of changed now.
I taught that age group for 20 years. I never refused a student and no student wet or soiled pants in a lesson. The key is to allow students to go between lesson one and two and let the students go between third and fourth lessons.
Also be aware that some students don’t use a school toilets. Then one da.y they can’t make through lesson five and will wet pants in lesson five. Teachers should be aware of this.these students will only ask to go to the toilet if they really believe they are about to wet their pants. They aren’ likely to ask again. Let the student go!
Students desperate to go will not hear any of the lesson. Let them go. At least you can get their attention now they are not in severe pain needing the toilet.
I am a retired teacher. First thing to check is the school day schedule. Some primary schools follow the secondary schedule where toilet breaks are every two hours. This could be the problem. I believe that a quick toilet break should be every hour and no longer than 75 minutes. There are year 7 and year 8 students that wet their pants because sometimes they can’t hold it 2 hours.
It might be a good idea to allow students to go between every lesson and don’t let the children play while some are using the toilet. If you do, some will wonder over to kids playing and forget about the toilet.
If every student is taken to the toilet line, the number of accidents drips sometimes to zero. I have a friend who taught this age group and recently retired, and he never had a student wet his pants in his career .
I say in jest, but I am dead serious. The teacher has to learn to be potty trained for that age group. The teacher has to know what works for every child in the room. There will be one student that age that was born with a bladder the size of an adult elephant. Most students that age have a bladder about four to six ounce. An adult’ average bladder holds 16 ounces. That is a tremendous difference.
Students that age don’t have the attention span of two hours. Neither do many of them have a bladder that can hold it two hours without being a bit desperate or be sitting in a puddle of urine.
Ask questions, and .the answers may tell you what to do.
My brother once wet himself I think it was in year 8, he is teacher refused to let him go and the rest is history. Fortunately nobody in the class found out
Think my son is someone who never uses the school toilets. I remember when I was at school I was the same and only used them if I was really desperate.
I can't and don't blame the teacher for what happened as he didn't ask on either occasion. Luckily it's not happened since and I've been told that he now appears comfortable asking to go in class.
I'm sure it must be different now but I remember when I was at primary school it was very hit and miss on whether you'd be allowed to go to the toilet in class. Some teachers never allowed it and some always did and some it varied.
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