At a complete loss

[jreynolds]

Up until a couple of weeks ago I thought I'd made real process with getting my nearly 4y girl to have a regular poo daily but now she is withholding again and I have no idea why?? And really at a loss with what tactic to try next .

Brief history this is 4th attempt at toilet training guessing she got a painful poo at some point so started to with hold. That lead to her going on to laxido to clear her out. Now on maintainace dose and up until now that has been making her regular along with regard charts etc. We got to the stage she was havine a regular poo before bed albeit in a nappy but we were working on that slow

But now we are back to her soiling aga due to overflow with her now not caring about it again. She is now on a high dosage again to try and clear her out but just feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. And months of hard work gone to waste

Not really a question in there but just needed to get it of my chest, it's so frustrating how stubborn they can be over something so natural so if anyone out there got any new tips I can try please share cause I have run out of ideas x

[jane-anna]

This has happened with my daughter, we have had to do 3 clear outs with high doses of laxatives, then she’ll make real progress, things seem to cause a blip eg holidays but after the 2nd and 3rd clear ours she quickly made progress again our nurse says blips are common just persevere x

[jreynolds in reply to jane-anna]

thank you jane-Anna we think it was caused simply by her going one night with out a poo then feeling extra full the next day. If u don't mind me asking what dose did you give for a clear out and how long for as I'm never sure if she has cleared completely out. X

[jane-anna in reply to jreynolds]

She is on movicol 1 sachet s day and we do 2,4,6,8,8,8 each day until brown water and she can feel everything again.

[jreynolds in reply to jane-anna]

Ok well we only done 3 sachets per day Thursday to Sunday now she is back on 1 a day and only now getting really runny poo so maybe she is not really cleared out yet but we find it difficult to put her on any higher dosage as she is at pre school 4 days a week and struggles to control it . But on the upside she has now agreed to sit and have potty time and has actually managed to do 2 (albeit runny poos) on the potty so mini victory x

[jane-anna in reply to jreynolds]

It’s difficult when they’re at nursery etc we kept our daughter off luckily my mum could look after her. We did another disimpaction in 1/2 term just to make sure she’s kept clear as she withholds and I feel things slowly build back up. Other option is sodium picosulfate that literally works overnight really powerful stuff we were prescribed that for first clearout it works quickly x

[jreynolds in reply to jane-anna]

I did consider taking her out of pre school but then thought she might feel like she's being punished. I thought the laxido would work quicker than it has. We started it last Thursday till Sunday on high dosege then back down to 1 sachet but only now starting to see results but at least she's getting rid of it x

[Luella19]

I so feel for you, I was totally desperate and at a loss with my daughter soiling and withholding at 4. It takes a long time and immense patience. My daughter is 7 now but is problem free most of time and off laxatives. Poo still a big part of our lives and I have to keep daily track of her pooing, she still likes me to be with her when she poos etc, and I still catch her withholding sometimes stood by the TV and have to send her straight to the loo. But it is SO much better. Stay strong, keep doing what you are doing xx

[jreynolds in reply to Luella19]

thanks for replying luella 19 its good to now it could get better. It is the soiling in-between her trying to poo I struggle to deal with as she won't admit she is dirty so feel like I spend most of my time constantly checking her . she won't admit she needs,a poo either so don't stand much of a chance there only now she needs one if I catch her holding it. But we will preserve hope it keeps going well for you x

[SallyandPaul]

You have my every sympathy, we have been dealing with this for nearly six years. Our daughter is nearly nine. Things have got better over the years but we rarely have an accident free day. The other comments are more positive and I wish you well. We struggle with getting the dose of movicol right and her unwillingness ti go to the toilet.

[jreynolds in reply to SallyandPaul]

well hats off to you sally and Paul for dealing with it for this long im at breaking point and its only been a year. I now what you mean about the unwillingness our daughter is so up and down about it but I thought we had managed to get the dosege right we were literally measuring it out down to the last gram to Get it right hope it all goes ok for you and you get there in the end.who new it could be so hard x

[SallyandPaul in reply to jreynolds]

Thank you so much. We haven't had any choice really . At times it absolutely drives me up the wall!! We have three grown up sons and we have fostered 48 plus child minding and teaching, l had never come across this before, she is our adopted daughter and we adore her but get frustrated because we can't resolve it. Take care xx

[jreynolds in reply to SallyandPaul]

yes that is the only down side of being a parent we dont get the choice. We I hope u resolve it soon x

[Evala]

Similar story to us with out 5 1/2 year old boy. Good ish phases but lots of relapses to withholding. I think stress or being under the weather make him withhold more as September start of year 1 was awful and he was emotional about school being tougher on learning. But he has just had an amazing few weeks. Taking himself to the toilet resulting in clean days or only slight mess, and just seems generally happy. But it doesn't seem to take much and he hasn't been properly the last few days so I expect a relapse. We have done a few proper clearouts with movicol when he was young, but in the last year what we call mini-clearouts that we can manage over a long weekend or half term, and often afterwards he withholds less and has a good run. As we know he can do it I hold onto the idea that his brain is slowly 're-wiring' every time he has a good phase so we will surely get there for longer as time goes by. So hard not to feel cross but I know patience is better! Good luck x

[jreynolds in reply to Evala]

Thanks for your message. I have a feeling our last back step was due to over tirdeness but it's nice to hear with time there can be rays of hope. My LG is due to start school next September and I'm dreading it as I can just see a massive relapse happening but I hope I'm proven wrong. That's what I find more annoying that I know she can do it but Is a lot of the time to lazy/busy to be bothered with it. So I'm hoping like you that with time she can get over the fear she has of it. Good luck with it all too x