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Too stubborn to goto the toilet

Hi I am new and could do with some advice my 4.5 year old girl will wet in her pants then not tell anyone and Is happy to be sitting in wet pants or if I can see she is needing to go the toilet and tell her/take her she tells me she doesn't need to go she sometimes hits out at me but will then go 5 mins later by that time she is wet she hates being told and have tried all the rewards chart possible I am not copeing at all now and am getting upset all the time as I think I have failed her in some way is there anything more I can do or do I speak to doctor as she has never really dry


4 Replies

My daughter was the same at that age. She still sometimes now at 6 1/2 needs to be reminded as she can go most of the day without a wee. I think she will just grow out of it.

I know how you feel but you haven't failed her. You will get through this x

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The experience I've had with my daughter Bumble, includes what you have detailed above. I would definitely get her checked out through your local continence service, if you have one or a paediatrician. I try to only ask her if there's a need for her to go to toilet, if I can and will accept her answer. I always insist of i can tell she needs to or is already wet, as well as at the 2 hourly intervals she must not go over.

keep going!

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Hi, my daughter is also 4.5 ( 5 in October actually) and is the same. She's never been dry either.

We have seen Gp loads, health visitor, paediatrician and continence nurse and are no nearer to any answers! I hope your health professionals will be better than ours!

We have a wobl watch but even set at hourly reminders she can wet before the hour is up or otherwise not need a wee at the hour then we ten minutes later.

What are you planning to do when she's at school? I'm not sure how mine will cope at school. I think she will just be wet and sit in it until anyone notices. She starts in September!


Hi we have been having some good days just lately. I don't feel like I am getting any help from health visitor when it comes to school I am going to have a chat with her teacher and explain what's happening my lg was in the nursery at the school she is going so not too much of a big change for her. Maybe you need to speak to her teacher and explain what's happening so you can put a plan in place that you are all following am glad I am not alone xx


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