4yrs of no sexx

[Oldeenglishbulldogge]

Hello everyone. I had a proscectomy in 2019 and since I haven't been able to have intercourse with my wife and it's killing me I was 55 when I had the prostatectomy and now I'm 59 I've tried pumps I've tried try mix nothing seems to work and I can get some blood in my penis but never enough to get it hard. They tell me the next step is surgery but I'm trying to find out if anybody knows anything you tell me get hard again without surgery oh before I take that stepThanks for listening

[thefeelingscoach]

Check out The Elator at theelator.com. Sex was better before brachytherapy, but with The Elator we enjoy it a lot.

[luvbunda41]

Trimix alone was a hit and miss. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it did not. The pump did not work nor did Cialis or Viagra but someone gave me an idea that has been excellent. You take a Trimix shot, you lube your privates and place (a rope with beads) around your balls and tighten it. You stimulate yourself. You will get a rock hard erection Do not keep it on for more than 30 mins. When you take the rope off the erection will remain.

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to luvbunda41]

So when you say a rope with beads what kind of rope what kind of beads and I guess at the top of your ball sack just trying to fully understand please thank you

[luvbunda41 in reply to Oldeenglishbulldogge]

Sorry for the late response. The bead is at the book of the ball sac. You take the shot, place the rope around, tighten it and you are good for up to 3 hours rock hard. I will get you the name of the rope later today

[luvbunda41 in reply to luvbunda41]

Bottom

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to luvbunda41]

Bottom is the name of the rope? Where can I find it?

[luvbunda41 in reply to Oldeenglishbulldogge]

I got it on Amazon. Its called the Utimi adjustable cock ring. It cost $11.99. Try it. Its fantastic

[Hidden]

Get an implant! I've had it for six years and I no longer have ED. It's actually better, because it gets you harder than you ever were in your life.

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to Hidden]

So you recommend the implant hands down no questions about it and you love it for sure?

[man0 in reply to Oldeenglishbulldogge]

FYI - my hypothesis is that there's a nontrivial number of men who've had the implant and now regret it, but since it's irreversible and they're "stuck" with it, they're already feeling bad about the choice that but will never want to talk about that because they view it as a mistake. In fact, some might even be feeling a need to say they're happy with the choice even though inside, they may not be so certain. So the voices you hear on a forum like this are skewed in one direction. That's my theory, of course it may be wrong.

For me, if someone could *guarantee* that it would get me "over the top" with finally being able to experience the magic of a simultaneous climax inside my beloved spouse (the one major thing I'm still unable to experience after prostatectomy), then I'd consider it. But I've just got this feeling, from what I've seen/heard, that the whole thing would feel so *alien*, so *foreign* as an entity within my body that my mind wouldn't allow that to occur. My mind would *know* that its own response is *not* the source or cause of the underlying erection, but just a bystander who "pushed the little button". I fear my wife, who appreciates the feeling of knowing her physical presence is responsible for instigating that physical manifestation of my arousal (and I don't blame her - if I were a woman in her shoes, that feeling of "power" over my husband's body would be intoxicating for my self-worth as a woman), would doubt my reaction knowing it's being caused by some physics related to hydraulic fluid manipulation. And knowing that she's "suspicious" of the whole procedure would diminish its impact for me, in terms of the mental component that's necessary to enjoy sex leading to orgasm

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to man0]

Thank you very much

[man0 in reply to Oldeenglishbulldogge]

The one point I'd add with respect to making your own decision: how does your wife feel about it? Hopefully you either already had great communication with her, or during the years since surgery you were able to build that.

If I felt my wife was missing that so thoroughly and strongly desiring me to get the implant, my thinking would be different. But at 70 years old (I'm 68), a lot of peers in her social groups have already "given up" on sex, so I'm thrilled that she's still very interested in our new approaches to intimacy and happy with them. And that in turn makes me less willing to "push the limits" to get the implant, vs. letting my nerve-healing continue to improve things on its own (I'm not quite 18 months post-RP and erections appear to be still increasing).

[dale112 in reply to man0]

That is a wonderful exaggerated reply for someone who only goes on hearsay. If you ever get an penile implant, then you can comment about it. I have an penile implant and have not regretted getting it. I have my sex life back.

[man0 in reply to dale112]

It's great to hear you have your sex life back and, I assume, are very happy about that. You didn't state whether you got the implant after a prostatectomy, but for the sake of argument I'll assume that's true (otherwise your situation would diverge even more from mine and Oldeenglishbulldogge's). You haven't said whether that implant has allowed you to experience orgasm as before surgery during penetration.

I mentioned what I thought as a hypothesis (that I couldn't prove or disprove) - so that part is an opinion, no more or less. I think one should be allowed to express an opinion, i.e. can comment about something.

I think it's definitely safe for me to comment on my own perceptions, for my situation. And for me, I'm fairly certain I would *not* be able to experience orgasm with the implant as discussed above (the interrelated mental/psychological components of both me and my wife). But unfortunately there's no way for me to prove/disprove that other than to get the implant - and then, if my suspicions are correct, I'm stuck with a (for me) deficient solution that's *irreversible*. Again, *for me*, it doesn't seem worth that risk.

Unless you're objecting to my comment suggesting that, IMHO, the voices of those who've gotten the implant on a forum like this are skewed in the positive direction. We'll never know because you can't "prove" a negative - men who may regret that decision are highly unlikely to want to publish that opinion here, I think that's a safe & logical postulate.

So, to you and Oldeenglishbulldogge, yes I'll add the "warning label" that what I'm saying pertains only to the way I would think about an implant for myself, and of course everyone is different. So to Oldeenglishbulldogge: should you decide to get it, may you have the same (apparent) success of dale112. Good luck to you, sir.

[dale112 in reply to man0]

Well said, and best to you.

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to dale112]

Thank you

[Miket218 in reply to man0]

me that you're overthinking this. Give the choice between no sex or sex after pumping a bulb in my scrotum that was a really easy choice!

Sensation is a little little different because the head does not become engorged. But the women don't sense any difference. And now I can even hump the ones that I don't think are all that pretty!

[Hidden in reply to Oldeenglishbulldogge]

Yes! Absolutely love it. No question!

[luvbunda41 in reply to Hidden]

My friend did it and he greatly regrets it. So make your decision with care. It is irreversible

[Hidden]

Absolutely. I have had no regrets. The good thing about it is that it takes ED out of the equation. You don't have to do ED things. So I basically no longer have ED.

Also, there is no "sorry dear" when you get flaccid like in the old days. You can basically keep it hard for as long as you want it. All night, weekend, etc.

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much for the info. I appreciate it

[Dtorg1969 in reply to Oldeenglishbulldogge]

The nerves of the penis are on the outside - you won’t be able to ejaculate because you don’t have your prostate, but you still should be able to orgasm/climax. The implant is internal - inside the corpora that would normally fill with blood. The implant is purely hydraulics to get you rigid/erect.

It has the highest satisfaction rate for partners and recipient - because it allows for spontaneity and reliable erection.

Implants are typically an out patient procedure - hanging low for a few weeks.

Go to an urologists who specializes in ED - ask to speak to one of their patients (and partner) who has the surgery to get their perspective.

Good luck - Sorry you are experiencing this!

[man0 in reply to Dtorg1969]

I am amazed by (but I don't doubt) the level of satisfaction reported by the *partners*: their ability to once again experience "that feeling" must somehow greatly overpower their own satisfaction of knowing that it's *their* bodily presence that's triggering the arousal's physical manifestation.

For my wife, I know this would be an issue difficult to surmount: that my erection was merely caused by my decision to "push that little button", and not by the internal arousal mechanisms. Is it just that they enjoy the notion of being able to have sex whenever *they* want? I.e. the ubiquity? For both my wife and I, our excitement thrives on seeing each other's body being triggered by our own. If that linkage is broken, I fear it will dramatically lessen the outcome's impact for us.

I guess it's because we have the (apparently minority) perspective that we consider sex together more as a 'connection' and not just an 'activity'.

[Ralph1966 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Charliesroig. Can I ask if your insurance covered all costs? Any immediate or long-term side effects like infection or discomfort (on the long run)?

[Hidden in reply to Ralph1966]

My insurance converted everything. Discomfort in the short run but none whatsoever in the long run.

[Longlines8]

First, I use TriMix. At first, and still occasionally I don't get shot in correct spot and it fails to work. I have gotten better, but still fail on occasion. I'm better with 5/16 needle vs 1" which is default at my pharmacy. Next, I have had to keep increasing the quantity used and when reach a certain point Doc increases strength. I have been thinking about implant lately. I expect eventually shot will stop working. My view is an implant would be a lot less invasive then the shot from my wife's perspective. Since I have to stop and to the shot. My surgery was in June of 2018. So it has been 6 years. Can tell you my wife is not fan of shots and our sex life has suffered because she is afraid to say she wants sex because she know it stresses me a bit to do the shotcand isn't very sexy. Think the implant might be more "natural".

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to Longlines8]

Thank you so much for answering when you say the shot is not in the right spot does that mean that you're not doing the spot that they explain to you on the instructions or have you learned something else. I've used a better strength and when I got to the big strength one it would hurt so I'm in between scared to take a shot because it hurts and going back to the lower dose to see if it works again I'm seriously wondering about the implant but I don't know if I'll have to pay for it out my pocket that's an issue as well My wife doesn't seem to mind not having sex but that's very unusual because we had sex all the time I think it's that she doesn't want to hurt my feelings because it's so embarrassing not be able to not being able to get hard. Thanks again for your comment man if you don't mind could we stay in touch it's kind of a relief to be able to talk to somebody about this cuz I don't have anybody to talk to about it and it gets a little rough on me

[Longlines8 in reply to Oldeenglishbulldogge]

My doctor has me rotate where I place the shot. Moving up and down the shaft and switching from side to side. Also, I have issues with the longer needle (1"), it wants to bend trying to go into carpora cavernosa. I have gotten better, but still occasionally have problems. I do get a burn from the medication when I inject. But I like being able to get an erection and have good sex with my wife, more than I dislike the burn.

My wife doesn't let me know much any more she wants sex because she thinks bothers me to inject (and it does some, but I wish she wouldn't do that).

Happy to keep in touch and discuss more. Not sure if you can message privately if you want. I'm happy to share and discuss. I can share email as well (not sure if allowed).

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to Longlines8]

Wonderful, thank you so much, I appreciate it.

[man0]

Do you mind if I direct message you? I may have something to add that may help your situation

[Oldeenglishbulldogge in reply to man0]

Yes plz do

[Wolfnbear]

Trimix comes in different formulas because what works for some doesn't work for others. I'd talk with your urologist about trying a different formula. They also come in a quadmix which worked really well for me.

[Oldeenglishbulldogge]

No my insurance does not cover it The try make some talking about I'm not sure about the implant I'd like to know if insurance covers the implant as well

[Cancer2x]

Well…been 27 years with no erections or orgasms for me. Dx’d at 48, surgery at 49, one nerve supposedly spared. I’m 76 now, with a dick that looks like a jelly bean glued to a watermelon. Wife withdrew right after surgery, so no sexual partner to even try to play with. Still get horny at times, and wail away to no avail, but still pleasurable I guess. Good luck with recovery! Try everything you read in here! There was no such thing as “Penile Rehab” back in the mid nineties, and I was left to fend for myself post surgery! Had I only known……

[EDgreen]

Interesting thread.

I had my surgery (nerve-sparing on one side) two years ago this November and will be 73 next week. Still have no natural erections. Pills didn't help, Caverject (Alprostadil) was too painful (though the 1/2 dosage of 10 mg. was 1/2 useful with a heavy painkiller), and BiMix (w'out Alprostadil) gave girth and length w'out rigidity, so I went to a urosurgeon who specializes in implants (rather than the one who did the surgery). The most important thing he told me - and this is the most important thing I have to say - was that the lower one's expectations, the higher will be one's satisfaction with the results. That dashed my hopes and changed my trajectory. Besides, my insurance would only cover the operation, but not the implant itself which would cost around $8K, if I recall correctly. I will point out that I live overseas, am divorced and not actively looking for a partner, so the operation was as much if not more for the psychological affect of visible "erections" besides the possibility of having a functional if not actual one, and the few that I did meet said they were not bothered by it, all of which added to my decision that the operation simply wasn't worth it for me.

[man0 in reply to EDgreen]

That would be consistent with a theory of mine, but my theory has a corollary which might offer a bit of hope (sort of). Although as others have pointed out to me, since I haven't had the implant surgery, this is all mere speculation (and perhaps wild speculation) on my part.

My "corollary" goes like this: men who have very high expectations (about orgasm, etc.) for the implant and get the surgery may *initially* experience some dissatisfaction that it didn't meet those expectations (e.g., orgasm was still not reliably possible). However, that's very short-lived: since their mind knows that the operation is irreversible, this mild-to-moderate dissatisfaction causes troubling "cognitive dissonance" over the decision, so the mind with its supreme adaptability soon rationalizes the decision by effectively "adjusting" what the initial expectations were, and persuades itself that the end result now meets those expectations. And when all is said and done, these men are still now finding themselves in a happy place, convinced they have no regrets. And in essence, they *don't* have regrets - because they've "forgotten" them. I can imagine for many men, that's perfectly fine.

Just a crazy theory. That's why I'd love to hear honest, heartfelt feedback from men who've actually gotten the implant describing what were their expectations (w.r.t. orgasms) and how the implant met them.

[Surv]

Good conversation.

I’m a 52 yr old male who had RARP nerve sparing two years ago. In the beginning of penile therapy there was no effect from Cialis or Viagra. I pumped daily for the first several months and used the middle sized penis ring to bring me to full strength. BiMix and TriMix formulations did not work, but after some conversations with other peers I began a daily dose of 5mg Cialis and Quad mix injections that after 2 years are about 50% effective. Meaning I can achieve penetration and orgasm with proper stimulation and lots of lubrication. If shots are not available I have been able to penetrate with pumping/ring combo, but the sensation is dulled and rarely leads to orgasm.

I’ll say that I’ve made dramatic improvements since the beginning (where I had high expectations and lots of frustration). Time and pumping has shown big improvements. Although my wife and I do have break for me to inject she enjoys lubing me up post injection.

I had initially considered implants, but with enough progress, I’ve found a routine that works. My wife is supportive and while very frustrated at first, has seen my progress and excitement improve.

Generally, I’d agree with the assessment to keep expectations low and celebrate small milestones. I get no nocturnal erections and have very little sensation during the day, but I keep pumping and hoping that full strength will arrive at some point. I’ve had to be patient and tell myself to keep working at it.

My best advice would be to mix up your injection formulations and pill combinations and explore all options before you decide on the implant as it is permanent.