I'm not sure where to start really, i had suspected i had endo for a few years.. and finally got diagnosed through Lap last May.. before i was properly diagnosed with this i became really depressed as i knew that something wasn't right but no one was listening to me, all i heard off people was "it will be nothing try not to worry" and the doctors said "no way your too young to have endo" (i knew full well that was a LIE!! so i demanded a lap to get a final diagnosis.. and my suspicions were confirmed.. not to my surprise by any means.. but i finally had a real 100% answer to my symptoms.. i was half relieved that i had finally been listened to and people now knew that i was right but i was also devastated as i was worried about what to do next and how it would affect me fertility wise etc as when i was 19 i became pregnant unexpectedly, but lost the pregnancy.... in November last year i had a cancer scare too and all the worry and anger and upset finally blew up and i had a breakdown.. i was in a pretty bad way and the doctor referred me for counselling to deal with my loss from years back and also the fears about my future and never being able to conceive again and all i have thought about for the last few years is how i was so scared that i will never have a baby and that the one chance i had has been and gone.. my sessions start next month.. until then i have been on a low dose Antidepressant's just to lift my mood so i could try and get myself out of the rut that i was in. i was off work for some weeks and went back to work in January.. the time off really did help me just to get my head back together without the added stress of work and trying to put on a front for my colleagues.. i could just be with my family who all helped me get back to a good place.. the last few months i have been the happiest i have been for a while, i think i had just spent so long worrying every day and every night that it just became normal to me, although it was exhausting. i am so much more relaxed at the moment and somehow have learned to accept that i have this condition and although it does cause me pain and may cause me issues with conceiving down the line, i refuse to let it rule my life. I only get one life and i don't want to spend it like i have the last few years constantly worrying about the past and the future.. i have always wanted to foster/adopted children in the future as well as having my own, for years i have been worrying that i will never be able to have kids.. and if the worst case scenario happens and i wasn't able to have my own children in the future, i would still really like to foster or adopt children, because as much as i want a family of my own one day, there are also children out there who need a family too! so at the moment i'm just living my life day by day and enjoying it.. i think part of my new way of thinking is having my cancer scare last year too.. its made me look at things in a new light and realise that endo is a part of my life.. but its certainly not the end of it...
Hope everyone is doing ok
xx
im glad you have also got to a better place and able to move on 
my experience with endo
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