feeling like a fraud?

[solel]

i had two miscarriages last year after 2 natural births and, whilst I accepted this was something that could happen, my doctor ran blood tests to see if there was anything else, such as pco's, that was the cause.

since then I've been having some incredibly sore events that have led me and my doctor to go down the route of trying to ascertain if what i have is endo; namely the symptoms I experience are pains in the kidney area (triggered usually by certain foods, like chocolate or wine), unbearable pain some 10 days after my period across my groin and down my thighs, the feeling, sometimes, that my insides want to fall out of my body, then before my period, again, the pain I am losing more and more time of work and as each month passes the pain seems to be hanging around longer and getting more intense. I know it's only going to last a few days, but in those days it's so exhausting and so disabling that it completely brings me down...like i'm in the depths of the deepest depression. I am tired....really tired...I come home and see a million things that need doing and cannot muster the energy to even begin.

However, my periods, though shorter and heavier, aren't incredibly painful, thy're uncomfortable, but compared to the other pain it almost feels a relief when they come and sex is not always uncomfortable. I read some of the stories here and it seems you all suffer every minute of every day which makes me raise a huge question mark over what this could be and makes me reluctant to talk to my employees about this in case i'm wrong.

I've been to see a consultant and he has ruled out, positively, pco's and wants to further investigate the posibility that it's endo and as such has recommended that on my next period i begin a course of prostap and hrt.

whilst i see this as a positive step (can't be worse than 'this'), I am still reluctant to say "yes, this is what I have" and manage my life accordingly. My employee is being incredibly supportive, incredibly so and I couldn't ask for better....however, I still feel like a fraud masquerading under this endorella....how do you manage this before diagnosis?

[foosey]

I also suffer from painful periods but my main paIn is a week after my period - I cannot go to work as I am in so much pain and nothing helps it (diclfoenac/ tramadol). Luckily my work place has been very good with me. I have been diagnosed with Adenomyosis, fibroids, polyps and ovarian cysts. I am waiitIng for surgery. NO YOU ARE NOT A FRAUD.

[Princesst36]

Hi Hun, sorry you are having this experience! First of all everybody suffers different degrees of pain and symptoms. There seems to be no rules so you are individual but will share many common complaints if u have Endo!!! I was diagnosed by laparoscopy but more recently as my Endo has returned I am just reaching the end of a 3 month zoladex treatment which my doctor referred to as a virtual laparoscopy - meaning, if u have success (improvement) with treatment then they can assume some things regarding your "diagnosis " and may proceed to laparoscopy. I hope this helps and you can find the right path for you! Let me know how you get on. Lots of hugs Tracie xxx

[InsideOut]

You are definitely not a fraud. Endo shows itself in all sorts of horrible ways. Your symptoms sound like endo but even it turns out they are not, something isn't right. I think most of us here have waited years to be properly diagnosed meanwhile suffering all the way. We have to break the cycle of women being ignored or of us thinking we'll just try and cope with it.

I don't suffer 'every minute of the day' but I know the endo is always there affecting how much pain I'm in, how much energy I have etc. Just because you're not crawling on the floor in pain doesn't mean you don't need help and support.

I hope you get some firm answers soon. x

[solel]

Thank you to all you lovely ladies for your responses.

I have sent my lm the pamphlet "endo in the workplace" and I have an appointment for the prostap tomorrow...fingers crossed that the results are positive!

Good luck all x