Helpful registrar/unhelpful friend!

Just wanted to share some things with all you lovely ladies who I know understand!

Had my follow-up appointment today for my diagnostic laparoscopy in March. Saw a lovely registrar who explained exactly where the endo was found and even asked if I had any questions I wanted ask (totally different to the useless gynaecologist I saw pre-op!) I get rectal bleeding with every period and get a lot of bowel pain/problems so she has referred me to gastroenterology and suggested I have a colonoscopy. Glad to be having it checked but slightly nervous about what they might find!

Had to cancel seeing a friend the other day as I was suffering from bad bowel pain. She phoned me up and said "I don't believe your endo is that bad that you can't leave the house" then got really stroppy with me! Was pretty shocked but realised if she's going to be like that she's not a real friend and I don't need the stress.

[tinker241]

well i can see where you coming from... my friend didnt even bother to contact me and she dont understand my condition either... so is she your best friend then get much information as you can about the Endo and then send it to her so she can understand... then if she doesnt then she is some friend to call you a liar... then i wouldnt bother to contact her again... until she get the idea.... or go out with her and see it for herself that you are suffering... and she will be shocked... xxxx hope that helps for you xx

[Chrissie66]

I've lost loads of 'friends' because of endometriosis.

But I've been left with the real gems who are genuinely interested and are only disappointed when I have to cancel on them because I am in pain.

That being said - so many people still think that endometriosis is 'just bad period pains'; it may be that your friend just doesn't understand that it is so much more than that, or maybe she is frightened of it somehow. Ask her if she really wants to understand it. If she does, then you can go into it all together. And if she doesn't - well, there's your answer.

With regard to your bowel issue - I bet it's endo related, or you'd be bleeding all the time, I would have thought. It's amazing where it can travel to within the body. But good luck anyway, I have to say I'm not sure I'd be jumping on to the table to have a colonoscopy myself, either!

C xxx

[Lizzie71]

I bleed too every month for past 4 months. Had a hysterectomy 4 years ago next month keeping ovaries. Am due to have a colonoscopy on the 9th aug. and am terrified but need to know. 1st month it was just a little on tissue. 2nd and 3rd months bled when going to loo for 3/4 days. This month I bled for 8 days. Its scary :o(

As for yr friend, you could say its not worth it but it's true some people are scared to talk about stuff. Talk to her about it, show her info on Internet. I have to say my mum wasn't all that good about talking about it until I started to bleed and now she is asking all the time if am ok.

Good luck anyhow xxxxx

[Hidden]

What a friend!!!! I've not had any support from my friends upon diagnosis but coincidently have met 2 new people, one a mum at school the other a new work colleague who both have Endo. They completely understand and likewise I do! Hope you can find some support thru other means. You are after all not alone in this. Xxx

[Zolta]

Some people are so ignorant! Just because someone might look well one the outside (in my case) does not mean that their insides are poorly! I used to have friends but endo interfered with my work and my social life. I had to reduce my working hours by half and couldn't go out to see friends anymore because of the endo as was getting pains all of the and during periods I did not want to leave the house for a week!

My friends forgot that I existed and when I texted them, even my closest friends and my sister to let them know I was in the hospital nobody bothered to send a text or call to see whether I was ok when had to be admitted to A&E on a few occasions last year. It seems like nobody believes that endometriosis can be bad enough to have made me housebound let alone have to call for ambulance! My ruptured endometrioma left me with a fever, severe vomiting and pain so bad that I needed morphine to get rid of the pain and the doctors wanted me to stay in over night with a drip and had quite low blood pressure too.

My dad did not even really understand or take in what is going on with me until my other half explained to him what happened and (sorry to be crude) that if he could imagine something bursting in his ball sac and twisting it right around cutting off it's oxygen supply like what my cyst did with my ovary. People need educating on this horrible disease, even some health care staff do not get it! One woman I knew in the Isle of Wight went to A&E because of such bad pains and her nurse said 'there is nothing wrong with you, you are just here because you want your morphine hit!' What a stupid cow!

Friends and family need educating and if they do not believe me after they have been given all the info then I personally believe they are not worthy of my friendship, as people that are narrow minded like your friend seems to be does not deserve you as a friend. xx

[heatherec]

Hi Bec82,

I have the same issue, i'm going to see a colorectal specialist/surgeon on the 9th August. Shall I let you know what kind of questions he asks and what the appointment was like?

Heather x

[Hidden]

Thanks for all your replies. I did send her a text message explaining what happens with endo especially with my bowel but she never replied so I'm not going to bother contacting her again. What makes matters worse is that she's a nurse!

Heather - that would be great, I'd really appreciate it. Hope the appointment goes well x