Babies???: Ok, this is quite a... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK

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Babies???

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Ok, this is quite a controversial topic. However, some of my friends have asked me about it, because they ask me "what if you can't have kids in the future?", "if you got pregnant now, would you keep it?" ... (I'm only 18 btw).

I'm not really ready at all to even discuss this, but of course I am worried about the future, because I do want children someday.

I personally do not agree with abortion, but would not criticize someone for doing so, for their own personal reasons. I would not try to get pregnant at this age at all, because I have so much of my future ahead of me, and so many plans with education & career, that it would not be ideal for me personally, and I have nothing against young mums.

But, I do find myself sometimes thinking 'what the hell would I do, if I accidentally got pregnant, and there's a chance I can't have kids in the future?' Would I keep the baby? Would I not? What the hell would I do, because I am in no place to bring up a child, when I still feel like one myself etc...

I suppose, if I didn't keep the baby, and found that I could not have kids in the future, I would be kicking myself so much!

& If I did, it would of course be a blessing, but I would not be able to give the child the life it deserves, and I would miss out so much on my own.

Anyway, I suppose I am asking if any of you if you find yourself thinking like this? What are your personal experiences?

It's not an important issue for me at the moment, but I get asked about it a lot, and to be honest I don't know what I would say or do.

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6 Replies
SL72 profile image
SL72

Hi Sophie

Please don't worry about this....many women with endo are still able to conceive and have children. You are only 18 and have your whole life ahead of you...so much to plan, to achieve, to look forward to and to enjoy. So take each day as it come and let the future take care of itself.

Be positive and be strong :-)

BelfastRach profile image
BelfastRach

I agree with SL72. Everyone is different although I also have had endo since I was 18, and only now do I feel ready to have a baby (I'm 28). After several laps & treatment there is no reason why I couldn't get pregnant now (might be already), and if it doesn't happen within 6-12 months they can offer lots of wonderful treatments these days to help u. I'm glad I didn't do it years ago. My advice would be if your not ready, take precautions so you don't have that dilemma of whether to keep it or not. But as its playing on your mind, I think it always depends on the circumstances, so If anyone asks if you'd keep it and u dunno what to say just reply 'Well it would depend on the situation' xx

Thanks for your replies :) I'm not at all ready to have a child, and wouldn't try to get pregnant at all at this stage. It's just swimming around in my head and making me panic about the future. So thanks for this, it's made me feel much better :) x

Aquitaine profile image
Aquitaine

As other people have said, lots of people do manage to get pregnant with endometriosis. Also, fertility treatment is continuing to improve, so it may be that even if this is a problem for you, by the time you feel ready for kids there will be more medical support.

The most important thing is to keep yourself healthy for now, and when you're ready, you'll be in the best possible shape for pregnancy.

Incidentally, I wanted to have kids, but in the end it turned out that I couldn't. Although it's sad, I'm fine and my life is a happy one. There are other ways to have children in your life if that's important to you. Please don't worry about it - especially as you're only 18 and there is plenty of time ahead of you.

As for the theoretical questions.... well, it would always depend on the situation.

Good luck, and don't worry.

HollyFrances profile image
HollyFrances

When I was 18 I accidentally got pregnant, I was in uni and had no money and my boyfriend begged me to have a termination. I went ahead with the termination and only 6 months later all my pains started.

I'm now 23 and I've been diagnosed with endo and Polycystic ovaries which both cause infertility. I used to spend so many days hating myself for what I did and often wonder what I would have done had I know I had these conditions at the time.

Then I remember that I could have never looked after a child. I had no job, no money, a horrible partner at the time and would have had to leave university.

Don't worry about the what ifs, just do everything you can to avoid them because either way it's a horrible situation to be in!

Katii45 profile image
Katii45

I first was diagnosed with endo in 2009 after a lap for recurrent miscarriages. The thing is I didn’t have any symptoms even though was stage 3. The dr found all kind of stuff inside and out my uterus black cyst on ovaries, polyps and edo. He of course cleaned my uterus and burned some endo but he was a fertility dr- didn’t treated me after the surgery for endo maybe cause didn’t bother me. The main focus was to find out the cause of miscarriages which obviously wasn’t the endo, the polyps or cysts that kept me miscarrying since after he “cleaned” my uterus It kept happening. It didn’t ever prevented me from getting pregnant either. I was still getting pregnant with endo but I couldn’t stay pregnant and later we found out the real cause( MTHFr mutation) and I was able to have 3 successful pregnancies . So I tell you the it can happen. In my case endometriosis never prevented me from getting pregnant. I thing and most likely, it has grown back since 2009 and I have had 2 more pregnancies after I assumed it grew back- most likely I was clear the first successful pregnancy( in 2009) since hadn’t been long enough since the lap where I was diagnosed and treated but it definitely was there with the 2 following successful pregnancies. So there’s hope! It isn’t until now that I am having pain. I am waiting for the appointment to have it confirmed.

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