14 year old daughter facing laparoscopy

[Whitley15]

Hi, I’m hoping to get some advice and support about my 14 year old daughter. I’ve got endo myself and have suffered for 30+ years with it, I had a radical hysterectomy 8 years ago. My worst fears appear to be a reality as my daughter has suffered horrendous period pain since she started 4 years ago. Doctors have treated this with various contraceptive pills, but persistent bleeding and pain has continued, so she has been seen by another consultant who has said for her to have a laparoscopy. They think she has endo so if this is seen it will be treated, and she will also be given the mirena while asleep.

I’m hearbroken she has to go through all of this, but I’m aware she is extremely fortunate to have this intervention at such a young age, rather than facing years and years of uncertainty and fobbing off like a lot of us have suffered.

I suppose my main question is does anyone have any experience or know of anybody who has gone through this surgery at such a young age? I know everyone is different, but I can only only go on my own experience of laparoscopy surgery, and how difficult it was after, I just hoping it won’t be the same for her.

Thanks so much for reading, I’m just past myself that she has to go through this, and feel so guilty x

[Stitchrunner1]

My daughter had one at an early age. She was fine. Youngsters can be incredibly resilient. Let the doctor explain everything to her and be honest about feeling woozy afterwards and having some pain. At first for my daughter, nothing much changed and she got the same old treatments. I thought it had been a waste of time and I had put her through misery for nothing. It changed in her twenties because the doctors had an early diagnosis and a long history for her. She started having breakthrough bleeds and more pain. This long history has lead them to look more closely without having to start from scratch. It a brutal thing to do, but for my daughter it has been well worth it. The doctors are now investigating other things, they would not have been able to think of without going through all the tests that my daughter had earlier. It has meant that further investigations are not delayed.

We laugh now because the surgeon said the hardest part of the process was getting her belly button out and back in!

[Whitley15 in reply to Stitchrunner1]

thank you so much for your reply, it’s just so hard seeing them go through all of this. Did they find endo when they did your daughters surgery, or was it discovered later? I know it’s not a quick fix, I just hope it gives her a bit of relief so she can enjoy these teenage years without pain and the anxiety that it brings x

[BloomingMarvellous]

I hear you. The one thing we want to do is protect our child so it’s easy to blame yourself . Even there is no rationale really in plunging into the gene pool guilt. She has you and that is a gift 💝. The difficulty also lies with that she will have her own journey and choices that are hers to make and combining it with that juggle of supporting whilst encouraging her own agency with this as she becomes an adult. It’s a tightrope walk all by itself.

She is in a far better place though with you walking at her side than the experience that I and many other women here will relate to where their periods and pain were silenced or not heard which brings a whole host of consequences in itself. You are amazing and wish you all the best x

[Whitley15]

Thank you for your lovely words, it’s made me quite emotional. You are so right , I know she is very fortunate to have this intervention so young, which is the opposite of my own journey and so many others like yourself x