To hell and back...

[Andi04]

I was diagnosed with endometriosis and fibroid in my late 40s. Pain was horrendous and bleeding would make its way through my clothing. The merena coil was attempted but wouldn't stay in because of my inverted womb.

Fast forward a year later I started prostap which helped hugely but is only recommended for a short time.

Fast forward again a hysterectomy removed everything apart from the ovaries was the best choice I made.

Through my journey and now in my 56th year I suffer flash backs to a line manager who made my life a living hell who tried to have me sacked for my condition after 14 yrs service.

I work for local government and was invited into a meeting about my absence from work, despite having to leave with a colleague one day because I soaked through my skirt and had to go to the nearest Asda (Walmart) to buy another skirt, knickers, thick pads and wet wipes, then back to my desk.

When my line manager spoke to me on my return, bear in mind I am 49 at the time and she was 38 she suggested a plan of action.

1. You need to keep fresh knickers in your drawer.

2. A change of clothes.

3. Wet wipes and a disposable carrier bag.

When I saw her in a private office she asked what colour of seat I had. When I said red, she said good it won't show up as much if you leak.

Since this day I contracted anxiety in the worst case.

I still work but in a different department.

What do you think of this treatment???

Andi

[Awwy]

Hi.

I just read your story and I feel flabbergasted at such insensitivity especially from a female.

Are you in the USA or UK. In the UK you do have laws that protect you from discrimination on grounds of disability. Equality Act 2010.

1. Its wholly inappropriate to ask the colour of your seat and make those remarks.

2. Suggestions to keep a spare of clothes and stuff are ok but ultimately that's up to you.

Similarly, I had a male line manager who was 26 when I started passing out and bleeding through clothing. It was embarrassing to speak to a young man about what was happening. When I was like that I called and said I couldn't come in. I was down as sick but ensured I had a disabled employee trigger point and went through occupational health. This gave me peace of mind.

Hope you in a better place with a better manager.

What would make you feel better about you situation now?

Are there any steps you could take with your current employer should you need too?

[KimG21]

so sorry you had to deal with all of this - I had fibroids and had a hysterectomy in July and it was the best decision I made. Like you I get flash backs but more to how I bled out so much and was taking by ambulance for a blood transfusion. It was horrible. How awful how your work treated you. I did get pulled into a meeting at my work for my absence however I was protected by the disability/equality act 2010. I’m not sure if ur in the UK but you would have been too unless this happened before this act was in place. That’s appalling how you were treated. The main thing is you have your health and your life back. Your old manager should have apologised giving the severity of your condition. Folk like that haven’t a clue and are to more pitied than anything. Try meditation videos to help move forward from trauma to see if they help? Hope karma kicks your old boss in the ass!! Xxxx

[Moonglo]

Hiya, your old boss sounds like the patronising, micro-managing b*tch of a manager that I had. Of course you’re going to manage your situation but you were caught out the first time it ever happened, and this is in no way a normal situation. And not only did this incident affect your mental health, the meeting with your old boss clearly continues to affect you.

You need to protect your rights. If you’re in the UK, and have an HR dept, speak to them straight away to get an occupational health appointment to discuss your condition, the effect the meeting had with your old boss, and your rights under the Equality Act 2010. If you can, join a Union as they can advise should anything else happen in the future.