laproscopy recovery average timescale?

[CryBaby91]

Hi all!

I am very very aware that we are all different, and we all heal at different speeds. So this question is just for an idea of what most people have found post surgery! I know it could be totally different for me, so please don't worry about me thinking that the time scale will be definitely the same.

Roughly though, how long did it take everyone to be able to look after themselves and not need any care after their diagnostic lap? I ask because my husband is only able to get a day or so off work, I have 2 kids (age 6 and 12) both home for the holidays and my lap is Monday the 8th Aug! They had a last min cancellation so i took it I've been waiting well over a year and couldn't turn it down. But I found out my mum is going on holiday on the 10th for 12 days, so I may be left on my own with the kids 2 days after my lap. Should I be up and about by then? Just avoiding heavy lifting and doing light activities? Or could I still be in need of some help?

Gyne said if it is stage 2 or lower he will deal with it on the diagnostic, but if it is worse then he will just diagnose me and schedule another surgery. Hoping for low stage! But I have been left like this a long long time and I'm concerned it might of got worse over the last 5 years untreated. Any advice on what to do for my recovery and what help i may need would be super appreciated.

[635703]

My lap with ablation in 2006 took 3 weeks to be fully back on to normal. As in before the op.

I guess you have to weigh up who is doing Lap - Endo specialist Consultant?

Just take cancellation and work everything else out as you go. It’s an emergency. You need this and you need it fast. Nobody can tell how well you’re body will heal.

Sorry it’s a lot, big hugs and we do what we need to do as EndoWarriors x x x x

[CryBaby91 in reply to 635703]

He's a specialist yeah my symptoms include my bowel and kidneys/bladder, so he felt it was appropriate for me to have him from the get go (I paid privately to get in the door first and make sure he would see me on his NHS list). But we've no clue how bad it could be, which obviously worries me because the recovery could be longer.

Thankfully I work from home so I have organised my cover and that's all good. Childcare worries me most, my kids can be very demanding and hard work on a normal day lol so it worries me that I may be left with them. My hubby said he would speak to work but that means us losing money or using his holidays up. My mum works at a school so she is off until the end of August, I was hoping she would be here to help me but they booked a bloody 12 day holiday from 10th Aug and her fella isn't usually the kind of person who will cancel stuff like that. So I'm a tad worried!

[635703 in reply to CryBaby91]

I’m so so sorry this is not straightforward. Honestly - do it and figure it out as you go. It has to happen and a cancellation is like golddust. Other Mums will help?! You are a priority, but obviously your choice.

They have compassionate leave at some companies, which is discretionary - hubs may be entitled. Got to ask Manager though. x x x x He can buy some leave, if you can afford that. He can ring up HR and ask himself, what can be done.

[CryBaby91 in reply to 635703]

I don't have any mum friends sadly, I'm pretty isolated tbh. I just have my mum and my husband, my dad isn't around and is too poorly to do any childcare. My hubbies parents are also not really involved, so it is a bit difficult for us all to juggle stuff at the best of times lol. I had a cesarean with my youngest son and we didn't get much help after that either, that took me around a week to be up and moving around independently.

Ive taken the appointment don't worry no way i was turning it down after waiting over a year. I just wondered what everyones experience was regarding being able to move around again, make a cuppa, food etc, no heavy lifting but generally able to move about. Then i can have a rough idea what ny next few weeks looks like. I know it will be a take it a day at a time, but if my mum leaves on this holiday she will be at the other end of the country and won't be able to get home quick.

Getting extended time off for hubby would be super hard, he is basically the main engineer at his work and is always needed. He may be able to go part time, but we would lose money that we can't afford. His boss is super understanding, his wife had stage 3 endo! But losing wages is not an option really, and his company don't even do sick pay lol

[635703 in reply to CryBaby91]

So many unknowns and tricky - you have so got this x x x

[Sheep2016]

I had mine in 2016 (if med tech remained the same). Incision method.

Apart from no carrying heavy bags and keep to really minor exercises (you'll need to do anyway for long term health), tiredness, tendency to get fatigue, slower speed, diet support and care (no junk meals as food), keeping other risk and complications in thoughts, could be helpful. If you could have house all-ready without much cleaning needed, including laundry after post-op for about 1 month, you might be OK to go for it. Speed in getting things done will return as the days go. So please listen to your own body and do not force yourself to speed up. It could have adverse effects, making things, worse.

Another long wait is not recommended as condition might worsened. One thing for sure, all things be good, keep doctor's dos and don'ts seriously - those will surely help you recover fully, sooner. Hope this helps.

[CryBaby91 in reply to Sheep2016]

That helps massively! Thank you so much I probably couldn't get all the washing and cleaning done in advance really, the two kids go through clothes like no ones business hahah! And they just have to walk into a room to make a mess 😂 but it is good to know that potentially I could reasonably move around my home within a few days. Thanks again, really appreciate hearing your experience and advice.

[Hidden]

Hey, It took me about a month to be up and about and in my normal routine again. I was just wondering, is there a reason your 12 year old is particularly demanding? Due to special needs/health conditions? If not then a 12 year old should be able to help you out with keeping your 6 year old entertained, making simple lunches, washing up etc. My youngest was 12 at the time I had my first lap and she was a great help with things like washing up, making sandwiches, feeding the animals, hoovering. When I was able we had a family day out to the zoo, which she picked as a thank you for helping so much x

[CryBaby91 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah sorry I probably should have explained that my 12 year old is autistic and has ADHD! My youngest is also undergoing autism assessment but they said they want to wait until he's a little older. So both of them have extra issues that we have to account for! I can trust my eldest to make a sandwich, and things like soup or beans on toast. But I normally supervise him if it involves sharp knives or the hob, so providing I can go and sit ob a chair or something he could probably help there. But the poor lads may get bored of sandwiches and beans after a few days hahaha! He's TERRIBLE at cleaning though. I have to make sure they bathe properly, do their teeth etc. He can't fill the dishwasher properly or do the washing machine without making boo boos lol I've had a few tops ruined when he "helped me" with my washing 😆 he does try, but I also don't want to put too much on him because it is a lot for a regular 12 year old never mind an autistic one. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to CryBaby91]

Ah bless you, you really have your hands full! I think you're best bet is to ask hubby to Essentials when he's home from work, like washing, maybe preparing lunches if he has time the evening before. Have lots of movies lined up you can watch with them! Don't worry about doing any housework that isn't essential, it will still be there when you're feeling up to it. If you can afford it get some new colouring books/toys so that will keep them entertained for a while in the first few days hubby goes back to work xx

[CryBaby91 in reply to Hidden]

Definitely have my hands full haha, but they do try and help in their own way haha. That's a fab idea, I've actually got some arts and crafts stuff that I hid for the winter lol I'll break those out if they get bored! I'll just watch some Drag Race with my eldest and let them use their gadgets as much as they want lol usually I have limits on screen time but I think next week it will be a case of "do what you want kids!" Hahaha thanks so much for the advice, super appreciated. Hubby will definitely do the cleaning without any moans, he is really hands on with the house and we work quite 50/50 on the cleaning so I know he will take over where needed. Hopefully he won't ruin my washing tho, he doesn't check labels to see if they can go in the dryer lol.

[Hidden in reply to CryBaby91]

No worries, hope it goes well next week! ❤ x

[singingelephant]

Hey! Good luck with your op! So, my partner actually went on holiday 2 days after my op for 10 days. It was tough. Took me 3 week to be able to go back to work, even then felt too soon. But as far as being in the house alone, I was able to make my own dinner etc (simple dinners). I did find loading the dishwasher difficult though. I hope it goes well for you!

[CryBaby91 in reply to singingelephant]

Thanks so much! That really helps, if I can move around downstairs alone (I have a downstairs toilet so that helps) then I will feel better about being left alone. The emergency situations is what scares me tbh, my kids are constantly hurting themselves lol. Would be just my luck for my youngest to crack his head open AGAIN and I'm stuck on the couch alone lol. Xxx

[singingelephant in reply to CryBaby91]

Hopefully your partner doesn’t work too far away and would be able to be released from work for any emergencies? My cat was sick under the bed on about day 5/6 post op, I had to clean that up😂

I know it’ll be hard with the kids but try to rest up as much as possible, I didn’t and it took so much longer for me to feel normal again 😂xx

[CryBaby91 in reply to singingelephant]

He's around a 30 min drive if there is no traffic, and about an hour if he hits any traffic. Where he works is kind of one of those places where you can't avoid traffic, every route in and out is the same lol. His boss thankfully is SUPER understanding, his wife had stage 3 endo and was very poorly for a long time. He would absolutely say to just get home if I needed him, but he wouldn't be able to pay him or he would owe the time back and he would have to do overtime to clear it. Sadly they don't even do sick pay, so if he is ever poorly he can only ever take a day or so off, otherwise our money suffers. If we didn't rely on his wages then it wouldn't be too bad, but he is the main earner and if we lost even his over time every month then we would be £200 down which is a big loss for us. So I would probably grit my teeth and try get through it without calling haha. My mum is off work for the 6 week hols, but her partner has booked them a holiday from the 10th and he is one of those that won't change plans for anything. He would likely kick off big style if I asked her to even delay for a day or so! Ughhhhhhhhh, I hate feeling like a burden and having to ask for help, because I know how much earache she gets from him. Some blokes need to give their heads a shake lol. Xxx

[singingelephant in reply to CryBaby91]

Oh hun! Fingers crossed everything goes to plan and no emergencies happen. Just got to take it easy! My partners like that, he didn’t postpone his holiday either, I get it but god it sucked. Relying on people is definitely hard going but necessary. Xx

[CryBaby91 in reply to singingelephant]

Thanks love, I'm definitely hoping for the best. I was up and changing nappies after about 2 weeks from my cesarean, but I had an infection despite the antibiotics so that delayed the recovery. I'm hoping the lap is going to run more smoothly lol. Why is it that people like us who really need someone to just be there for us usually end up dealing with it alone?! So infuriating. We're not asking for much lol, just a bit of support. Hope you're doing well since your lap!

[CryBaby91 in reply to CryBaby91]

Xxx

[singingelephant in reply to CryBaby91]

Fingers crossed!! Oh I know!! Massively frustrates me! I have no family close by either haha xxx

[CryBaby91 in reply to singingelephant]

Snap haha other than my mum I'm quite isolated family and friends wise, people don't understand me being poorly and just get bored with me saying no to plans. No siblings or cousins, no aunties or uncles. My dad had a stroke 11 years ago and lives miles away, so he's a no go for help. Generally it is me and my hubby just plodding on together haha! Xxx

[singingelephant in reply to CryBaby91]

Yes! That’s me too! It’s hard going for sure!xxx

[CryBaby91]

Hey guys! I made a post but they found it!! Moderate endo on my ovaries and fusing my bowel to my anterior wall, so i believe that is stage 3. Healing up well and resting loads. My mum delayed her holiday and has said she will go when I'm ready and not before! So massive weight off. Thanks for all the support everyone xxx