Friends

[Worry_er]

Do you ever feel like you are the only one checking up on friends and asking how they are.. or when any of them put up a worrying status on social media, you are always quick to let them know you are there for them. I've had surgeries, found out sad news and been through a lot over the past few years but I never get any of my friends asking how I'm coping. I still do offer help when I see ny friends struggle and always check in.. but it does make me think 'am I even liked' or 'whats wrong with me'

[Redorangeyellow]

I definitely struggle with this. I have what I thought was a good friend who I have always supported and helped through a lot of difficult situations however havent heard from in ages apart from quick heys here and there. I eventually messaged saying that im struggling and didnt hear anything back. Its really hard for me at the moment so I know how you feel.

[Worry_er in reply to Redorangeyellow]

Not responding to your message has shown the person hasn't got any empathy. I always try and think would I be able to treat these friends the way they treat me and honestly even the thought of being soo cold feels mean. I'm here if you ever need someone to message!

[Hidden in reply to Redorangeyellow]

Same here. Had the same 'friend'. She was even going through a very abusive relationship with her father who eventually kicked her out and i took her in for 2 weeks until she decided to go back and sort things out. Was there for her through thick and thin, by her side when she had endless operations to sort out a problem she had. Then as soon as she got a good job and made new mates that was it. I was history. Didn't even call when people in my family passed away or even after knowing i had this condition and the things i went through. She knows my other 'mates' 😁.

Sadly to say i gave her chance after chance ( i am very loyal and stupid in that way) I give others more chances than they deserve, you always assume somehow that you can 'win them back' or make excuses for them or think maybe its just a phase but when it hits you its really hard to take it and hard to let go of but in the end you'll be glad you did. Toxic people suck your energy and peace of mind and are not even sorry they did. Good riddance

Glad i am out

M 💕💕

[AnnieAnnie]

Not everyone is like you. It sounds like you care about others and how they are feeling and put them first. Many people are selfish and self absorbed and think that their own issues are the worst and no one else's can be as bad as theirs. They also take your friendship and caring nature to get them through their tough times but when it comes to yours, they are nowhere to be seen or heard. It's just how some people are. They don't seem to be able to see beyond themselves. I don't think some do it intentionally, it's just how they are. And others, just take. There is nothing wrong with you and if they didn't like you, they wouldn't come to you when they need you. You are caring and kind. This group is great, you will always find someone in here to speak to when you need it xx

[Worry_er in reply to AnnieAnnie]

Thank you. I'm just trying not to become bitter. I hope you are well!

[Bubble_by]

I had the same thing... It was always me making the effort but never having it reciprocated. However I took the slightly harsh approach and cut a load of toxic people out of my life. Granted my phone is way quiter and I don't have many friends at all now, but the ones I do have I know are genuine.

This group has also helped me a lot trough lonely periods too. There is always someone here to talk to 💕

[Worry_er in reply to Bubble_by]

Im in a constant battle with myself thinking to cut some people out but I always fear that I will end up lonely. What you did was good, and very brave! Its actually soo hard to put yourself first.. not easy for people like us

[Bubble_by in reply to Worry_er]

Being used by toxic people is far worse than being lonely.

It is a difficult first step to take but one that is definitely worth it. You feel much better after you do it.

[Hidden in reply to Bubble_by]

Sounds like me. Always asking, always texting, calling when ill, had operation etc every occasion too even if just a quick hello, greetings etc never get any of them back, so I saw this advice on the internet the other day that said " try not texting/calling first for 2 weeks and then you will see how many dead plants you have been watering". I did that and funnily enough, all except 2 were dead plants. So i just cut them out of the life and the funny part? They didn't even text to ask why So definitely made the right decision there!

Phone a lot quieter too, but I am more at peace mentally. Looking back I understand now that they were just free loaders, fair weather friends (even family) self-absorbed, pretentious, only interested in calling/texting to say what they've bought and how much their latest phone costs and which holiday they are going on etc etc Never really once stopped to ask about how I am or what it is i am doing. Always annoyed me but I just let it go every time thinking its just they way they are. But you realise in the end that if someone doesn't have basic human decency and you need to teach them that then its not worth the hassle.

I really believe that if you have to cut people off...chances are they gave you the scissors.

We live and learn

And yes this group has been great!

M 💕

[Worry_er in reply to Hidden]

I can relate to 'friends' only calling to share what they have etc. Its sad that this is all they really care for. You did definitely make the right decision x

[Hidden in reply to Worry_er]

Yes. And they like to call themselves friends too which always makes me laugh. I sometimes wonder how anyone can be that selfish and not notice it. 😁

One of them even told me i was their best friend (really? 😐) then called about a week after that to tell me that she was going to Rome with her best friend. 😁I wonder how many 'best' friends she has? They all seem to have one thing in common - pretentious.

Like my dad always used to say "people like that know the price of everything and the value of nothing". It is what it is. Good luck to them, I would just prefer to deal with more genuine people who seem to be rare these days. Oh well..life goes on.

Take care

M 💕

[AllthatGlitters]

I would say that they are not true friends. It’s a two way thing. Can’t only be one person who is phoning/texting. I don’t bother with people like that. Leave it and see how long it takes them to text you.

True friends would be there when you need them. Lots of selfish people in the world unfortunately but I would rather have fewer friends than so called friends who don’t give a damn x

[Worry_er]

I'm currently trying this. But I have a huge feeling that I am about to lose a lot of people. I just need to restrain from messaging, and its worse when I see one of them put a worrying status. I just dont know how to ignore those things

[Noodle31]

Give as much as you can without losing yourself, but always give more to those who give back. That is true friendship.

[Rosie_Eliz]

Hi Worry_er,

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, dealing with endometriosis can feel isolating at times. I wanted to point you in the direction of some of our services we offer at Endometriosis UK incase you might find them useful.

We have a free helpline that is run by volunteers who have personal experience of endometriosis: 0808 808 2227

The helpline is open most days the times can be found here:

endometriosis-uk.org/helpline

Also, you may find our support groups useful as a place where you can discuss endometriosis and the issues you are facing with other sufferers. Some areas are offering online support group sessions, but once lockdown and social distancing is over they will turn into meet ups.

Keep checking your local area here for updates: endometriosis-uk.org/find-a...

Best wishes,

Rosie_Eliz

Endometriosis UK