Trigger warning - listening to friends constantly talking about pregnancy

[sal-lew]

Hi all,

TRIGGER WARNING - PREGNANCY RELATED

I am feeling a bit down at the moment. We are trying for a baby and have been since October. I know we haven't been trying for that long and that there is still lots of time. I was on the pill for 7 years so I'm not expecting to come off it and get pregnant immediately.

However, I have a constant worry in the back of my head that its going to take longer to get pregnant because of endo. I try to be optimistic and tell myself that I'm being silly, I only have stage one but the thought is still there.

I work in an office where women seem to be announcing pregnancies every few weeks at the moment. I also have friends that are TTC and literally every time they sleep with their partner they then start saying how they might be pregnant and planning things...I know its exciting and I know its so easy to talk about, but I'm getting a little down hearing about it from all angles so much. Dont get me wrong, when these people do get pregnant I will be absolutely over the moon for them and be just as excited along with them. But I am struggling to hear about it so often, especially as they know I have endo.

I know in theory I could stand just as kuch of a chance of getting pregnant as them but this little worry haunts me.

Does anyone have any advice on how to manage the feeling/dealing with constant pregnancy chit chat?

[luthien]

Research has shown that the long term effects of the pill is affected fertility. It can take up to a year for full cycles with egg development to settle, so it can be a while. Be patient! Endo can cause problems with fertility too, if you're worried you could both get checked at a fertility clinic, you never know it may not be you.

I have friends that are the same; they plan sleeping with their partner round their fertile time and then plan for pregnancy. It's weird, in my opinion it shouldn't matter what time of the cycle, you should just do things as and when it feels natural; I mean isn't that what we used to do before all this prediction stuff!

Endo and fertility are treated the same as miscarriages, people don't know what it feels like to have it / to go through it so don't know how to react or even talk about it

I've learnt to block it out, yes it hurts, yes it gets me down, but I go with what's meant to be will happen. Pregnancy isn't a be all and end all; enjoy life, enjoy sex, enjoy your relationship, enjoy each other, don't put pressure on such an intimate close part of your life as a couple. There's soooo many couples that go through their relationship almost falling apart over the need to have a child with the poor guy feeling like a robot.

It will happen if it's meant to - no I don't believe in a higher being I just believe things happen in life because it's the right time - perhaps now is not the right time for you yet.

[sal-lew in reply to luthien]

Thank you, I really needed to hear all this today. It doesn't help thay sadly women in my family have issues with multiple miscarriages, so I have 2 things ticking around in the back of my head. But you are right, I need to enjoy that part of our relationship and not put any pressure on either of us.

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

I completely agree I suffer with recurrent miscarriage I just recently had my 6th like you I'm stage 1-2 thankfully Iv been blessed with a daughter who I conceived whilst om the pill (I can't have been taking it right I was in deep depression over loosing my, dad but I don't, remember much around that period) since she became one I came off the pill for 2.5 years nothing but absolute pain and agony once I stopped completely breast feeding at 2. had a lap blocked tubes and endo found did some research cleared my tubes (they said ivf) and fell pregnant 3 months later iv had another 2 pregnancies since all in 2017 but lost all 3 ,we haven't been going out if our way to try it's just happened and has always, been a, shock surprise but it's great because we're managing to conceive I'm under miscarriage clinic and need to use protection now just so they can get to the bottom of it, but I'm feeling positive living life and if it doesn't happen I will enjoy life with my family. I know you might think it's, easy for me to say as iv got a child. It's not it's all about mind set and not putting pressure on life because of something I want. That saying comes into mind a lot we don't always get what we want. In my eyes we can still be happy there's a, whole world to enjoy out there. I hope it happens for you soon my love but don't stress and let it happen as and when it does then take it from there. Wish you all the best lovely, always remember everyone has their own problems it's just the way we deal with them that counts. Good luck hun

💗🤗😘

[sal-lew in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Thank you. I am sorry to hear about your miscarriages and hope that they can get to the bottom of things for you soon x

[Sylv_99]

Hello, sorry things are difficult for you at the moment! I don’t have any words of wisdom to give you but just to say I feel exactly the same way. I’ve had a hysterectomy and don’t have any children so I find it really painful hearing about pregnancies all the time and then I feel really guilty for not feeling over the moon for them which then makes me feel worse! The only way I’ve found to deal with it, is to have a little cry and then move on. It’s crap and I’m sorry you’ve got to deal with it too!!! Stay strong, there’s lots of lovely ladies here to support you xxx

[Pinkyandthebrain]

Hi Sal, I’ve just come across your post today which is funny timing because I’ve been trying to conceive for about 18 months but no luck so far.

Just wondered how things have turned out for you if you feel like sharing?

It’s very tough when everyone in the office is pregnant or has a new baby and all I seem to hear about is acquaintances becoming parents. X