Sex Advice Please!!

[bellah2020]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site but not sure where else to look for answers! I am a 20 year old who was officially diagnosed with endometriosis last year but have been suffering with symptoms for many years. I am waiting to be seen by a top specialist as have had 2 laparoscopies and both times the endo has returned within a month. I can manage my symptoms with NSAID, however my main reason for coming to this forum today is sex advice.

ANYTIME i experience any kind of sexual penetration, the following day i am in pain with cramps. This is effecting me mentally as it means i don't want to have sex which affects my relationship. Has anyone found anything that works to prevent this post-sex pain?

[Apatche4]

I just take pain killers and deal with it. I understand though makes you feel rubbish. Unfortunately eventually you just learn to deal with the pain

[Bee_22]

Hi Bellah2020,

I am so sorry you’re going through such a rough time. Endo really is more than just a physical illness, it affects your mental health too!

I used to struggle a lot with penetration (I had endo on ligaments surrounding that area!) and was so scared to have sex. I didn’t have the cramps you’re experiencing, but I did have a lot of pain during.

My partner has always been incredible with me. He’s understood when I have bad and good pain days and when to stop.

I think what’s helped me the most is a lot of communication. We‘ve been together since I was 21 (I’m 28 in a couple of months) and I’ve always been totally honest about all of it. It can be a bit of an awkward conversation, but if they’re worth it, they’ll understand.

Have you tried different positions? Also, you could maybe suggest that you do other things instead of penetration until you’re seen by this specialist? I know it’s hard, but the pain afterwards will be upsetting him as well as you.

I really hope the specialist can help you! It’s such a debilitating disease x

[poppyisobel]

Hi

I know exactly how you feel!

If you can see a pelvic physio they are life savers! You should be able to self refer or get your gp to refer you

[Eggs37]

I fully empathise, I have pain during and after too it has taken its toil on my relationship and my well being but communicating is key so he can understand how you are feeling, trying different positions and outercourse not just intercourse! I've read the book beating Endo which has a helpful chapter on sex, its a great book! Also although i haven't tried yet been recommended to use an Ohnut (look it up on line) and i find coconut oil soothing lubricant. I'm waiting for a date for excision surgery and full hysterectomy due to Adenomyosis and hoping that may result in more normality. I hope you find a way through soon.