When should I start conceiving? Would it be sensible to start now in case I do have difficulties?

[BlossomKatie93]

I have mild endometriosis which was treated with surgery but the results that were found have stuck in my head. There was mild inflammation in my left Fallopian tube but nothing was said about there being endo there. The surgeon didn’t really give me much info on this (was nearly 2 years ago now) but the panic of not being able to conceive has always been in the back of my head, especially because of the inflamed Fallopian tube. I’m 25 years old, married and have just part bought a two bedroom flat with my husband because we definitely want children, but I still don’t know if I’m ready to take that leap yet, especially as we only moved in a month ago. But a part of me feels like I should start trying to conceive just incase I do have problems as I understand it takes some people years. And I would love to have more than one child so I guess starting soon would be a sensible option in terms of my chances of fertility. But I’m really confused as I don’t know if it’s definitely what I want right now. I got talking to someone who struggled with fertility and they kind of urged me to start trying and now it’s got into my head again I really don’t know what step to take. Any advice or anyone in a similar situation?

[kate24601]

I understand your concerns, I was told at 18 I might not be able to have kids, then had a negative lap at 20 and rather than being relieved by this, was told 'well it's all clear now so if you want kids, have them now while everything is healthy'. That was 2 years ago and now I'm seriously debating having kids in the next year. It's all very well for people to tell you you 'need to' or that 'it would be wise' but at the end of the day, it's your life and you who has to live with the child for the rest of your lives, which can be a big leap to make if you personally don't feel ready for it! x

[BlossomKatie93 in reply to kate24601]

Hi thanks for your response, yes exactly! You don’t know whether it’s going to take weeks, months or even years, but taking that leap means you have to be in the right frame of mind for it. Really don’t know if I am ready my head is totally scrambled at the moment! X

[HE12]

Hi BlossomKatie93 I don't think there ever is a right or wrong time to start trying for a baby and only really you can make the decision at the end of the day.

I had thought about trying for my 2nd child about 4 years ago but put if off as I was getting married. Now I've been trying for over a year and a half with no success. I'm being treated at a fertility clinic where I got a scan and they found an endometrioma I'm now waiting to see the consultant for my next steps. I now wonder if I had tried all those years ago would I have got pregnant or were these issues always there. It's a tough one! Xx

[BlossomKatie93 in reply to HE12]

Hiya thank you for your response. I totally agree with you that there’s no right or wrong time and that it’s my decision, which is why I’m feeling the pressure. It’s a very tough one. Good luck with your next steps xx

[HE12 in reply to BlossomKatie93]

Thank you, it's a scary journey the unknown but hopefully I will have some answers soon.

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do. Xx

[Sciencing_19]

Not much help but - I am in a very similar situation. I am 26, engaged and hopefully buying a house in the next year. I am stage 4 endo. May I ask what stage endo you have? Its a really difficult one to give advice on. I saw my consultant yesterday and she said that its one of those things that they dont know how difficult it will be until you try, meaning that you could get pregnant in the first month or there could be problems. Either way, as the NHS goes they usually will make you wait ~1 year of trying naturally before they review you. I think about it constantly these days, not wanting to regret any decisions. But, having a baby when you are not ready is *I think* worse for your mental health than the constant worrying. Our plan (if this helps you) is to start in 2 years when I am 28, and then if it doesn't happen in <1 year, then I will still be under 30 and other options will be still readily available (egg retrieval/adoption etc).

I'm so glad that I found your post, you often feel like your'e all alone in this and no one can possibly understand. I hope that you feel better.

[BlossomKatie93 in reply to Sciencing_19]

Hey, thanks for your response. Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I was never actually told which stage of endo I have but based on the results I would say I am a stage 2. The surgeon did say though that what stage you are may or may not directly link to fertility, so in other words even though mine is a milder case, I may struggle to conceive. Yes that’s the difficult part the not knowing whether it’s going to take weeks, months or years, and you have to be ready to take that leap and prepare for the fact that it might be sooner or later. Your plan sounds like a sensible option! Good luck with everything. I’m still unsure as to whether I am ready or not my head is a bit scrambled so I will probably give it a good few months and then reevaluate, but like you I definitely want to try whilst still in my twenties x